8:43 AM // 6/27/14
I don't know what it is about you but you make me feel something I've only seen in movies, you know how right before the big finale there's an uproar, a ******, a point of no return, or the kiss of a lifetime? Well you make me feel that in every inch of my bones, right down to stubs of my toes, you're smile sends chills down my spine although I have never been a fan of the cold you make my heart melt. When I hear your voice telling me all these sweet things I've heard millions of times before for the first time in a long time my gut is telling me to trust it, to trust you. Although letting people in has never been hard for me letting people go is what seems to be the hardest, I guess nobody bothers reading the fine print anymore, although mine clearly states that "I am an enigma of joy that will always put your needs before my own and shower you with affection even when the world is being cruel, I'll be the sun beam that shines through your window even though you haven't seen the sunshine in quite a few years and last but not least I will love every bit of you...even the parts you thought nobody ever could" so when you embrace me I hope you don't break me, by that I mean my heart, it's paper thin although I miss it being my favorite shade of purple velvet, oh yeah and that's another thing: skin. I love the feel of your skin, the way you ran your fingers in a circle along my lower back like geometrics and finger painting were your best hidden talents. the first day I met you i layed on your chest and listened to the rumble of your heart beat while the grogginess of our stomachs sang an entirely different tune, I guess we found even more things in common. So far I have found so many things I can't wait to love about you including every weird fetish and habit even if I have yet to witness it. Like the way your voice sounds when you sing and if you sing in the shower and if your favorite song changes every week or hey maybe you've had the same anthem for years now or how your laugh escalates and falls as you laugh at your own inconvenience or what you do with your hands when all you have to hold is air or if you pout your lip when you get upset ((like me)) or if you even do anything at all when you get upset, I want to learn why you love certain words even if it's just because of the way you pronounce them and what shows you still love to watch on Saturday mornings, do you even have breakfast on Saturday mornings or are you still dead asleep till noon breaks? What hand do you write with and how big your handwriting is, do you like letters and if so, how often can I write you one? Do you mind if I ramble or even tell you about the color of the sky or even coffee shops I've never set foot in. Do you value moments or are you a fan of the bigger picture, do you analyze things and if you don't then, i totally don't notice how tight you grip my hips when i kiss you too hard or how cute you look when you squint your eyes... if not then i am sorry for noticing these things. How often do you like to cuddle and if your not in the mood we can just lock pinkys, that'll be enough. Do you scare easily and if you do, pick a movie that scares the living hell out of you just so I can see how you let your emotions effect you, do you pick your nose when no one is looking or do you think that's gross (because if you do I so DON'T do that). I want to know what tv shows make you laugh and what food makes you happy and what things make you sad, does anything scare you and if so is it something cliche like the El Chupacabra or is it something more serious like what cereal you wanna buy tonight or the future or heck even dying because whatever it is everyone's afraid of something, I can't blame you for being human. Are you ticklish? do you like nose kisses? can I use you as a pillow or a chair when I'm too lazy to move an inch Do you like silence or would you rather talk until sunrise, whichever is fine with me. I'll listen to sound of your voice or the sound of your breathing as long as I get to hear it forever.
*(v.m)