MONSTER

  In the darkness of the night
I’m shaking in fear
I was asleep in my bed but I have to ***
But a monster is very near

I know the monster is sleeping, I don’t
Dare wake him and feel his wrath
But the bathroom is down the hall
And I may cross his path

So in my bed I stir until it’s too late
Yep I’ve wet it and I have to face him anyway
But at least it won’t be in the darkness
Of night but in the light of the day

He seemed to be gentle but it was a charade
His blue eyes changed to Devil red
He was my father and he would beat me
But the scars came from the words he said

Though the beatings would put me within
Inches of my life from the blood I’d bleed
The mental beat downs would ultimately
Be what would plant the seed

I got caught up in self doubt and I
Began to take drugs and drink
Self destruction and suicide was
The only things that I could think

But Angeles were put before me
And changed my direction
But it took a long time for my heart
To accept and to be able to give affection

It hampered my life in so many ways
But somehow I was able to survive
I live a blessed life now and I am
So very happy to be alive

My fear ran deep but it didn’t come
From some imaginary ugly imposter
My father was an abusive alcoholic
He was my real life MONSTER

Written By:Charles Kean
Copyright © 02/21/2020
All rights reserved
Dedicated to Carlo C Gomez

A Reason To Live

    I know everyone has their demons
I know that I’m not the only one
I’ve found the answer and I can say
That all my demons are gone

If the clouds of darkness seem to follow you
If you feel there’s no light to be found
You may think that I am crazy but I
Tell you that you can turn it around

You’ve got a passion don’t give it up
Don’t let yourself get trapped in a pitfall
The answer is not in any type of drugs
Or at the bottom of bottles of alcohol

Face your problems and fears
There’s no reason to run and hide
No matter how bad it is just hang on
There’s no reason for suicide

For suicide only takes your pain
And permanently puts it on a shelf
The thing about it tough is it
Just gets transferred to someone else

So if you’ve got a heart that’s broken it’s a
Heart that loves and it has something to give
Give all your pain to Jesus and he’ll help
You Find a reason to live, a reason to live

Written By:Charles Kean
Copyright 07/26/2019
All rights reserved

Long ago, miles and miles
ago,  you'd think I'd have
forgotten.  I remember so
many things.

I've learned that a tree down
still remembers its first leaf.
That the moon remembers
its first sunset.  I've learned
to understand then, that the
first beating of your
existence on my heart
remembers you.

Send me a signal that I
may see the first fragments
of your hand in mine,
the first dance in the
dark, the first look
we knew as always.

Let me not go without
one signal that you knew,
once, the colors of my
name you whispered
on my skin that night
you said goodbye.

The years have frailed me,
but not so much that I
could not relive that
sole and singular summer.

Caroline Shank

Caught between spaces, faces

fraught with beginnings and end-

ings look backward, look forward.

At our age we spin.  The dance

of light is uncertain.  There

are shadows.  Perspective lies

just this side of the line

between the still world and

the moving.  We approach 

possibilities with prismatic

elegance.


More certainly we move across

the floor, scatter and are caught

up in the skirts of mornings,

afternoons, evenings.  Free for

the first time we shed our skin

in anticipation.  Old age is

a filled stream.


The echoes of childhood, the rasp

of youth are replaced by a certain

smoothness.  We go forward because

some thing turns us like a level

in space, always that way.  We go into

our children’s maturity, wrestle with

the presumptions of our age, and slide

like something iced into

something waiting.

I should talk about you Ma,
but what is there to say?
You lived like an illusion
inside of a nightmare.

You were born to be a
queen.  You said so
so often I wanted to run
away forever and never
again hear you prattle.

I wanted to love you but
failed.  You were brave
in your illness.  You wore
your psychosis like a
badge.  The crest of
madness suited you.

When you died they laid
you out like royalty.
Finally you composed
the scenery for us,
your subjects.

Michael was unmoved
while I cried.  Daddy was
a wreck washed up on
a lonely island.  His raison
d'etre gone forever.

My tears were a shock.
The last two minutes you
took from me.

I have never returned to
your lonely palace

underground.


Caroline Torpey Shank

I write in flames of love
unallowed.  You who do
not know the pain fly on
Dove's wings

oblivious to the heat,
the colors, the bent
dreams as I reach

For the sight of you.
Fly away.  I will burn
here in the fires of

my hopeless devotion.
I am red with lost
desire.  Fly to the

land, light on the
water, I so long for,

You.

Caroline Shank