You want me but
Can’t have a conversation with me
You want me but now you think
Calling me out of name is ok
You want me but
You also want them
You want me but refuse to
change
You want me
But would never care about me
You want me
But wouldn’t care
If  I died and my body was found near a dumpster
You would want me
But like my girl Amy said
Who truly stuck the knife in first ?
I cheated myself
Like I knew I would
You know I’m no good
You want me but
But every time I see you
You look at me blankly
With no expression
You want me
But you don’t want to grow with me
You don’t want to water me
But drain me of what little I have left in me

——————-

If your seeing this
Then you know where things are at
From one crazy man to the next you
Saw his patterns
You watched his ways and saw
He wasn’t in his right mind and space
Now that I see it to
We allowed him into our homes
we accepted him as our friend
And now he’s making threats
I don’t think I’ll ever look at it all the same
You keeping tabs came in handy this time

I was reborn  
When I hit the mark  
Of how much pain one could take.  

I dropped to my knees, cried to God,  
Prayed for help.  
It took time, but I opened the Bible,  
Read a little each day,  
Felt the Holy Spirit uplift me,  
Transforming my life.  

I was always meant to commit to service  
Before I realized how happy it made me to help others.  

Some of us feel deeply,  
Which is why words aren’t always needed;  
Our souls can speak when our mouths can’t.  
I believe you have so much to share,  
But you’ve repressed it all.  
Every time I tried to reach out,  
You refused communication.  

Still, I never let go of you.  
I always rooted for you.  
I want you to own everything your heart desires,  
To leave your mark on this world,  
Because I believe in you.  

This isn’t a therapist speaking;  
It’s your friend. My heart goes out to you,  
Even from afar.  
I’ll always pray for you.  
When I see you thriving,  
That’s when I’ll feel healing again.  

A part of me is crushed knowing part of you has checked out,  
But I know you can do it.  
It’s not just potential I see;  
It’s who you truly are.  
Those who can’t see this don’t know you  
Or what you have to offer.  

Please fight for yourself.  
This isn’t easy.  
Every time I think about it,  
I cry, saying,  
“God, please don’t give up on him.”  
Despite your mistakes,  
I know you still have magic in that big heart of yours.  
Don’t let anyone take that away;  
You are rare and special.  

I’m not crazy; I’m just crazy about you.  
I cared so much but never had the chance to share why.  
You were a beacon of light in my life,  
And that’s why I could never hate you.  
Even when you called me names,  
Now you can’t even speak to me  
Out of fear of what might happen.  
I feel your heart tremble at the thought  
Of looking into my eyes.
When I feel you near me . Apart of you feels broken and happy. You’ll wonder how know this. Truth be told your heart always whispered what your mouth couldn’t.

With love; be safe.