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8.9k · Nov 2014
summer 2013
undefined Nov 2014
learned to play guitar
and even learned a new song
played music for money
spent time with my family
busted a string playing guitar
lost a friend
fell in love
climbed a mountain
sat on a waterfall
saw a palm tree
walked along the beach in fog
breathed salty air
swam in the ocean
discovered a fruit
saw a gay pride parade
camped in the Redwoods
fireworks exploded right above my head
made love on a cold starry night
played in sand
hiked down highway 101
slept on a boat in the bay
skinny dipped in a lake
and had *** on a train
8.2k · Nov 2012
first half of today
undefined Nov 2012
study, cram, call, make plans...
power point, presentation, speech, rewrite...
theory, materialism and idealism and the difference,
Marx, Freud to psychoanalyze...
on to polynomials, linear equations, I make a scientific notation...
take a break. (eat)
ham sweet and thick
with lots of pineapple and some cherries
potato bread and cheese
PowerAde to rehydrate
little vodca with o.j. and cigarette  
after lunch, breathe .
and it’s back to study lab to mentally beat meat.
paper due, final today, did I remember to triple check
and get rid of paper clips, include a cover sheet...
ready to evaluate... I think.
ready to second guess, miss dates and time, "you're late"
again...
95, 98, 3.5 GPA? pre-test, for final, make sure your research is done,
site, source, quote, student rate and double space
power nap, smoke again,
is the day over yet?..
just slackin off here for a second  lol
6.6k · Apr 2014
more[?]than friends
undefined Apr 2014
miss you crying on my shoulder now and then
miss just having a drink or two as friends
miss staying awake at night and
talkin about what life'd be like
"if" we saw each other in a different light
I miss the times before we were "more than friends"

lay down in the grass, watch  stars shine overhead
you could clear away my tears with just a grin
when we would hang out late
and have a little much to drink
talk all night how "nothing could separate.."
I miss those times before we were "more than friends"
another "unfinished song.. lol
...probably all it'll ever be too
undefined Nov 2012
I get genuinely psychotic in the morning
when the sun creeps out to see
If I slept last night I would want to put a gun in my mouth
(breakfast with coffee, black)
just you and me.
I get depressed long and hard, and often feel like
the cream cheese that you scrape off your bagel.
As the hour goes on everyone's two dimensional
(photo-copy of photo-copied, of photo-copy)
and you are scraping your bagel
of the unwanted (but served anyway) cream cheese,
"You," (probably the plastic knife in this analogy) "drive me..."
Spat! in the trash
as your upturned nose tells me how much our days together
are measured in inches, not yards.
5.2k · Jan 2013
P. is for Positivity ;)
undefined Jan 2013
gather-grab up the positivity
bottle it, store it
life is beauty warm
you can't ignore it

last couple of days 've been a reel ego-boost
i write too much about downs
but i'll always speak the truth
And the truth about the way
that I've been feeling today
Is that there aint no place to go but up from here
Am I High?
I may need ta check and see
'cause as far as i can tell
Nothing right now could hold me

breathe it in
like fresh wind from the sea
deep breath . . exhale
[ it's positivity ]
5.1k · Nov 2012
this is my place
undefined Nov 2012
this is my place
this was the doorway i rented.
this was where i would put things.
this was my bathroom.
this was the mirror i used to look through.
this is the place at the bottom of the stairs.
this is where i didnt sleep.
this was where my head screamed till out of breath.
this was my backpack where i kept paper.
these were the words i didnt write.
those were the sleepless nights.
those were people i loved.
these were things i did to pass the time.
and that.. that was what i had in mind.
these were reminders of the "silly times".
theres where we three all learned to rhyme.
and thats the hallway to down there, thats where i went this last time.
with no light there..
no time..
no games, photos or silly rhymes..
no words to write, no sleepless night..
no stairs down there, no pen and pad, no bathroom,
no mirrors,
no head screaming, no bad dreaming..
no things to put away or place to keep them there.
no doorway rented.

and no place for me .
2.6k · Nov 2012
i like my glasses
undefined Nov 2012
i like my glasses.
they're not ones that help me see any better,
but they do help me better not to see. your eyes to mine ,
i can remain around and talk for a time
... with my glasses.

i like my hat,
or hats rather, i have several.
they separate me in my mind from someone else i may be,
but the someone without my hat is the someone you would not meet.
the me without my hat stays locked in a room for days.
he doesn’t come out and you would never want him to anyways.
he's not a charming fellow, the me without a hat,
we're all probably better off if he keeps some thoughts under wraps.

i like books,
and always keep one or two with me.
stories well written, and some not so much.
poetry, and short speeches,
of spirituality, religion, and lust.
i read them all in front of the cafe, or on the bus.

i have no antidote here to offer you,
for the problems that we both seem to hush.
it is what it is,
meaning is found in things that it must.
undefined Jan 2016
I've held hands in mine / That made great art from clay
I've listened to deaf friends talk / Whose hands had much to say

If My hands could tell a story, what would it be?
Would they tell of times, good and bad. How would they judge me?

These hands have held a rock wall / Holding on for my life
The same hands that pulled a trigger / To make it through the fight

The Good Book that my Momma / Brought me up to believe
Says it's Not by works / That any man is made free

They've held my Son, and Daughter / High up toward the heavens
They've lifted up, and they've struck out / Some things aint worth a mention

But 'If these hands could tell a story,'
I wonder if you'd still let me ...

Wrap them 'round your waist at night / Hold your face close to mine
Place yours in mine when we walk / And Not judge me By the Way They Talk ...

[Well, there's scars from being cut open,
burns from knuckle to wrist,
a break from a bar fight,
and fingers that calloused just a bit...

From making noise and trying
to sing and write a few songs.
I guess these hands will tell
half the story after all.]

If these hands could tell a story, what would it be?
Would they tell of times, good and bad, Or would they punish me?
A Local Group's "Song Assignment"
1.9k · Jan 2013
stranger
undefined Jan 2013
random stranger
met him on the street
we shared a table
and conversation turned deep

never met a stranger
this day was quite unique
so convinced of fables
as we talked awhile of "peace"

i wonder if ever there was a stranger
person i could greet
who held so true to labels
like childhood tales and dreams
undefined Dec 2012
the night is alive with flavor
:)
1.4k · Jan 2014
seasons
undefined Jan 2014
Alone with my breath rising through the air,
my shadow dark,
thick.

Street lamps buzz,
the ground
creeks and crackles.

[far from the Oklahoma and Arkansas wood...]

I shouldn't start here,
I should go back before
where someone different,
but similar enough to me, stood.  

A far long ago lost season of a life,
that is perhaps where
I should begin the
story I now write.

We'll begin by sitting at a table where a man,
defeated,
had given up
trying.

And decided
one night,
that from his Hellish Head
there would be a final untwining.

He came to the next morning
in a pool of blood and *****, and sunshine like angel wings.
There he was left an indeterminate impression of unburdening.
(like he'd simply downloaded everything.)

Of the substantial problems, issues  [troubles]
that had carried him up to the dark decision,
he had
miraculously been
somehow, in some way,
over-ridden.

.. A new time had dawned, and
as directionless as it was,
this anomalous sense of
nothingness
and desire had been born
from the mud.

A low hunger for life crept,
not exactly a "spiritual awakening,"
but connections prior and all hurt had gone,
[like a deep brain cleansing.]

With new empty eyes
like a child now seeing, everything
that was before, died
that morning.
... but the man, of course,
kept on breathing.

He went out on a search to find what heart, if any , he had left.

A semester in school showed sparking a writing interest, but
from everything else, still
[felt disconnected].

The season of winter was upon me and
the darkness of the nights
began their first lessons.

It was time to move on,
though to where (?)
was the question.

A trip to the ocean to let loose ,
place of final forgetting.
Then serve out a warrant in Texas
spend a short time in a cell reading.

Set free a new man,
a new season now rested.
so began a new life where previously
only demons lay infested.

Searching for a path,
something far from worthless,
returning to childhood hometown with
little vested sense of
definite purpose.

Floundering in personal relationships,
finding comfort in the bed of many,
never a real connection. ...'Till                                                    
    ­        
                                                   passing by a street one night,
listening to the sounds of life
and the evening's music,
my eyes
met a gaze that sparked my spirit's complete
attention.

A
dark gray
empty void burst
with color and life
at my ear's first listen

to this siren with midnight hair,
she lit a flame that did fan
lifting this shell of a man                                           
                  ­           out of perdition.

In her arms,
in her eyes,
tangled within
a body of sighs
[lies]

I found hope,
perhaps for the first time.

We set out for the summer,
and a new season of my life, with
care free adventure consuming our minds.

She gifted me music,
( the kind essential to life.)
As important for my well being, also
she gave me a write .  

...the right to love again
all risk taken and heartache aside,
she showed me the sort of feelings
that make struggle worth the fight.

Seasons abiding joyously on, 'till
the signs did change, and we headed back
to the only place that made sense to call a home.
And there, came at last, as expected,
the end of my love affair.
We saw to our separate ways,
"a' la fin," she did break my heart,
but I had learned a great and profound lesson.
.... I had dared to love so deeply, and without condition .....

With no regret I tell you now
that one of the most wonderful days
of my new life
will always be that early spring moment
when the sun in her soul
first shined through me.
... I will love her always,          
I know that.


So, where do I find myself now? Living,
connecting, growing,
learning, loving,
engendering a path all my own,
new every day and
brilliantly daunting
at every conversion.


This is
My story unfinished
Of life and changing
like Music
in song
so ..... unfinished ??
[ goodnight]
1.3k · Nov 2014
A Train Song
undefined Nov 2014
I caught a Union Pacific headed westbound
howling at the moon
A blanket of stars and my guitar
that's when I wrote this tune

That "Midnight Express" will get you there
if ya haven't a worry, or reason to care
Headin' down the line, steady as she goes
it's like heavy metal rock and roll
------------------------------------------------
Rode it up an' down to Sacramento
when a railway man said, " Ya gotta go."
I heated up iron 'til the trail went cold
riding heavy metal rock and roll

Heavy metal, rock and roll
it shakes and it quakes ,  rattles my soul
I wasn't born on a train
but that's how I'll go
thanks to heavy metal's
rock and roll

--------------------------------------------------
Now every time I hear a whistle blow
I think of "catchin' out" and wonder where it's goin'
Well, I may sing like some "country folks"
but, I love heavy metal & rock and roll
:)
1.2k · Mar 2013
med box
undefined Mar 2013
running 'round in my head ,
racing and chasing
they're thoughts i can't put to bed
now i write words
that are better left unsaid
only thing worth reading
are just words re-read
the voices, these things
screaming in my head
they tell me, they tell me
i'm better off dead
once again medication, you've turned a corner
science and technology, a brand new order
you've taken my heart and censored it entirely
pieces of me that have been lost along the way
god hopes that i don't forget, and remember this day
this night , this moment that you've shown your face
the last piece you took,
was all there was to take away
...
1.2k · May 2021
carry me on
undefined May 2021
walking through the dark
on the outskirts of Baton Rouge
just me and a bunch of stars
no one else to talk to

the yard is staging cars
expecting a train
gather my gear
trying to   beat   out   the rain...


wind is a howling
roosters start to crow
6-string on my back
bound for a Houston show

I like the early morning
quiet, dark, and cold
watching for that engine
and   tryin ta breath    real    low...


the "CLASP! of thunderous coupling
"SkReeeech," its time ta go
wind is a rushing
this steel     carries       me       on...
1.2k · Jun 2013
adult content
undefined Jun 2013
if i had met you more than a few years ago
i'd say things like "do you like me ? check 'yes' or 'no"

if we'd come across one another a few years down the road
i'd admire your freedom and kind hearted soul

but i've met you in the middle of life
so i say "it" in ways that you know

when i text you "goodnight"
and ask if you're alright
when i hate to hear you sad
and listen to you talk about the day you had
when i curl up to sleep with your photo beside me
how i try to make you laugh, be as silly as i can be
i do all these things, and dream of the day you'll hear me...

saying "i love you" endlessly .
no "form" here
:) just writing ..
1.2k · May 2013
lazy day
undefined May 2013
Wearing scars

Like the ones on her guitar

Boys make tools

Girls wear flowers in their hair

Wild dogs yelp at the passing train

Sun bathing tummies

And lazy day songs play
just bein a hippy today lol
1.2k · Jan 2019
Open Mic
undefined Jan 2019
Addicted to it man, just can't let it go
Stunned thunder clap, another good show
The south-side monster on 16th street
Listen to The Words, or just let him be

Words that spilled out
for Jesus & his drink
A Lotus to bloom out of the rough
Double down for one more hit of that stuff

[CH]
Gimme a thunderous clap, a slow rolling roar
And I'll always come back for just one more

Austin from Tallahassee
To Jackson Square in New Orleans
The Appalachian trails, to Venice Beach
In Florida it'll leave ya sleeping on the street

You can find it anywhere
There's smoke and drink
There's a gambling man (&a gambling chance)
Under every marquee

[CH]
Gimme a thunderous clap, that slow rolling roar
I'll always come back for just one more

[CH]
.....One more score.

Addicted to it, can't let it be
Every sucker on a stage, (including me)
It's not fame, money or glory we seek
But if you get a taste, it's so hard to leave

Oh, that thunderous clap, that slow steady roar
Always coming back for just one more.
I have a poet friend "Lotus" who was telling me a story about performing when he was younger, (they called him The Words, in Oklahoma) and he was telling me about this experience with the hush, and them tho roar of surprise and thunderous applause that followed a set he had... He said, "I'm addicted to it man, I just can't let it alone, I wanna experience that every time I get on stage now." I told him that's pretty much what I think we're all here for as artists.  (But I said it, by writing him this song :)
undefined Apr 2013
She said, "They use to call me busy-body, now I'm just a no-body,"
as I stroll up, headphones to unplug, to sit and wait for buses of school children to come up.
Feeling kind of broke of a sort that wont shut down, inside I'm meaning, reeling for home unfound.
Prospecting, working, commish here and there, "case management" on my case breathing till no air.
Looking and ardently searching for something that's not there, a plain jane job, to just give room for air.
Plans on paper, sound right in my head, but seem less and less practical in practice of what's read.

"Help? Daddy has a headache and sickness with no want to help baby,"
as she fashions a meal from play food in a play kitchen to make me feel better.
But I wont sit at her table, I wont play with her dolls, not today, when I've got the world at my *****,
biting and stabbing me in the back of my brain,
no, now I'll just put on a movie and try and sleep for a change.

"I love you's" are exchanged as I cover my head,
and the ultimate weight that is me lies in my bed.
Troubled, down, pierced by the bad negative points of life,
I'll rise later again looking for a "re-set" button to make alright,
while she sets the table with guests to an imaginary meal
cooked to perfection in hopes to change the way Daddy feels.
wrote this couple of years ago...
just looking back at some things now in my journal
undefined Dec 2012
Pardon please my pedantry,
But I espied sir that in your rhapsody
You sometimes overlook crossing all your “t’s.”
If a point should be taken, then please let it be
That these consequential “t’s” should not be jotted down so flippantly.
:P
1.1k · Jul 2017
Never Better
undefined Jul 2017
I sat down today to write you a letter
I wanted to explain how I'm never better

Since you went away, my whole life has changed
I miss seeing your face. Do ya ever hear me calling out your name?
Ever since we lost that day, I've never been better

...Can't stop the way I get so sad
over silly little things, like how you'd call me "Dad"

I write songs and play, and things are coming along okay
but it haunts my night and day, and I'm never better

I hate to go on this way
So I picked up my guitar to play
and tell myself the truth, that I'm never [ever, ever, ever] better

My heart is an open wound
that bleeds ink from pen to page

I'm writing this tune
hoping you'll hear it someday

It may not explain all that I have to say
Just know that since you've been away... I'm never better




I sat down today
                              to write you a letter .
1.1k · Nov 2013
4 letter word
undefined Nov 2013
i bled it and let it out of myself
wrote it and said it to be put on a shelf
now it's blazin' hot, these words are warming

why does it light my heart ablaze
like the fire in this pit.?
wish i had the answers, but i haven't thought of 'em yet.
------------------------------------------------------------­-----------------------------------------------------------------­----------------
there's just too much to say
and not enough time in the day
night falls long, in her shadow i'll stay

it's just another four-letter word
that i can't get off of my tongue.
it's just another hopeless condition,
a bell to be un-rung.
--------------------------------------------------------­-----------------------------------------------------------------­--------------------
heart felt lines from a paperless book
notes were made over feelings shook
ripped and burned, but never really understood...

how can a word make such a phrase
express the feelings i'm missin'..?
i'm still here holding my pen, guess i haven't learned my lessons.
--------------------------------------------------------­-----------------------------------------------------------------­--------------------
there's just too much to say
and not enough time in the day
night falls long, in her shadow i'll pray

it's just another four-letter word
that i can't get off of my tongue.
just another four-letter word ,
like "**** - **** - **** - or ****"
really don't have much of a problem with swearing normally lol
i seem to have a million variations that come to mind for the chorus that i keep changing ,
but as for now ,inwriting, i think i'll just stick to this
1.1k · Mar 2013
another stupid luv thing
undefined Mar 2013
The signs

She misses calling when she says she can’t
She calls almost every day since we first met
She’s dropped by more than once, “just to say hi”
She has invited me to spend Easter in south Texas with her family
We walked all over town together and she said that she “enjoyed the company”
Only the day after we met, at the drop of a hat, she went to a poetry meeting with me
….

I think she really likes me :)
1.0k · Oct 2013
GONE.
undefined Oct 2013
It strums my heart strings like an open chord
salt on a wound already so sore
i need a drink of water, finding no relief
it just may pull me under if sugar wasn't so sweet

I wanna hop a fright car and come back here never
I'd scar up the landscape and think of something clever
wanna slit my brain open, expose what's there inside
strap myself to a rocket and see if I could fly

It crowds my mind like a parasite
cigarette burns day into night
no windy relief from this damp nasty heat
it plagues my mind like a back alley creep

I wanna run so far away that I never need to hide
wanna cut out my feelings until all pain subsides
wanna close my eyes forever, stay locked inside my mind
dream of things so simple and never have to cry

Open my arms out and fall into deep black
float out on the ocean and never come back
i wanna disappear before you get home …
no letter, note or sign that I've ever been anywhere but GONE.
1.0k · Jan 2013
seeking shelter
undefined Jan 2013
seeking shelter

The lights go out and the walls begin to rattle.
17 men sleep on the floor in one small dining room's shadow.
The sounds of sniffles and coughs spike, then die out neat.
The real crescendo comes two minutes later, when snoring begins to peak.

On hard linoleum floor, packed in elbow to elbow,
with all the sound of appliances in the kitchen
And now of course, this human instrumental...

Good food,
we all get to eat,
glass still half full
when you remember...
It's either stinky feet,
or a night on the street
sincere thanks to all the workers and contributors of The Salvation Army in Denton, Texas
1.0k · Dec 2012
"Random Poem"
undefined Dec 2012
random poem button
give me something to read with a pulse
dead words from dead people are nice
but too easy and i've read them all before
serve me up a pumping heart
full of feelings or remorse
words with a pulse
something new, something now, ridged or coarse
something fresh that i can sink into
with teeth and eyes that dine and ask for more
random poem button
please hear me write
if i get another poem written
before this last century
then believe you me
i'll just go back to my homepage browsing manually
and never again use
your oh so special feature
instead i'll stay content
to myself, just randomly people search
thhhhhhpppp...
undefined Dec 2012
words have run deep for me today
its odd how leaving can make emotions surface
some nostalgic and wistful, others better unspoken
but I guess that's just the way it goes
I believe hearts procrastinate by nature

you fall in and out of love
and shelter feelings too long,
but when the chips are down
and all bets are in
there's just no avoiding honesty
and (no hiding your hand)

that's when it all comes out
all the disappointment and hatred,
melded with love and latent sorrows

how things are destined to go from here
well, i haven't a clue,
but my path now laid
i am leaving with no less hope than you
undefined May 2013
Sun coming up with my head over the lake
Breathing cold air in as last night fades
Scizor tales flip against blue sky
Trees of green shadow my eyes

My mind's troubles
ripple far from the shore
and I – hurt no more

She rambles on her guitar
Feet toes barely touching the water
Sounds and light flicker in space
She sings songs of “finding peace”

And my mind's trouble
ripples far from the shore
I - hurt no more

Couple of beers, shooting pool at the bar
Drinking with friends who don’t know who you are
Outside the night air is driftin’ off of the lake
Easy now to smell the coming of change

My mind's troubles
ripple far from the shore
and I - Hurt no More

Hear the waves crashing on the sand
my heart skips a beat when he grabs my hand.

Listen to you breathe lying next to me
Curled up close I begin to dream
Allison and I sing this together now
[she even added the line at the end "Hear the waves crashing on the sand, My heart skips a beat when he grabs my hand"]
929 · Dec 2012
garage sale
undefined Dec 2012
3rd and final day of my sister's garage sale
she asked me to sit and watch it while her and my nephew go to church.
"Any price you think is good for anything will be fine"
I sit and watch people sort through stuff and I want to apologize.
For some reason it's a very odd sort of feeling,
inviting strangers to rifle through your belongings.
Either nothing you've kept hidden is worthy of keep
or they'll make you an offer and show you it's cheap.

I would hate to have those onlookers dumpster-diving for deals within me
[I don't believe that I'd measure up either]
Everything I got I'll just keep

An ugly unwashed stranger's hand holds up my soul, turning it round he sneers his nose
"How much you need for this old thing?"
"I stickered it 10 dollars and it's practically new"
"I'll give you a quarter. It looks broken, it's held together with glue"
"Fine, fine. Whatever is fine."

After two days of this I'd go to church too...
to think I may have some things that I still keep hidden
and there's a god up there some place in the sky
who loves me and may still want to buy
just killin time i suppose
919 · Feb 2013
"old skool"
undefined Feb 2013
found out my friend's husband had a stroke,
he's in a wheelchair now
corporate America has bought
all the places where i use to hang out


"fry street" is now townie's
the whole vibe's kind of moved to the square
and those run down old apartments
have a waiting list up to six years



a place where ya use to drink all night,
play chess, or stop to cool your head
now sales sandwiches
made all... on Pita Bread

there's a place beside where the "hack-circle" is no more
that says "crusty.." something by the door

making it clear that my days of 'rad' are dead
(screwit)
i think i'll get a bite down at "banter" instead
wrote this while exploring my town again the other day
ahhh, still like taking walks down memory lane ...

this isn't very good i think hahahh, but my roommate likes it, so i'll leave it here :)
918 · Jun 2013
lonely strangers
undefined Jun 2013
so shines street lamps tonight
to illuminate figures passing by

words spill out, ricocheting in the deep,
from mouths that chatter with no sleep

lonely strangers walk dizzy to sight so poor
rain swept distant a shore

cigarette smoke like clouds to surf
it's lonely strangers that speckle the earth
909 · Dec 2012
od
undefined Dec 2012
od
ice-cream scoop carved out my soul,
i'm left here wide awake feeling hollow and cold
901 · Dec 2012
times likes this
undefined Dec 2012
when Pachelbel makes me want to fly
and I never finished packing, but did burn
all my writing for heat last night
to make it through
just me, my guitar
and youth

if truth was what we seek then
I'd lie to you in breach with
words that make you smile
and ease a need for trials
like a preacher spouting
Van Gogh in syllables
I leave you
impressions
smilingly  
sunny
... just writing you
859 · Jan 2013
madd diary (Jan 24)
undefined Jan 2013
a child, now a man fallen into a void,
found a hole in the fabrics of space and time...
stumbling along a winter night's retreat,
one of life's "easy day" times.





[i keep a notebook with me , that i use to write things out...
i had some trouble remembering today and have just about come full circle now.
eventually i had to stop reading and just think .. "why would i lie to MySelf?"]
*if ya don't understand this, its okay..... to speculate*

:)
844 · Feb 2013
pleasant company
undefined Feb 2013
straying off a drum beaten path
magic wonder awakens gleefully
a night alive with music
rhythmic blood pumping sounds that carry me
unalone / unafraid / safe / moving winds spinning freely
-comfortable company-
841 · Jan 2013
jan 17
undefined Jan 2013
an anniversary of a three year old’s             laugh
never old enough to get laugh                               lines
before she flat lined and I                                              wept
I went to visit a teacher today at “Stovall          Hall”
stayed to watch class and enjoy the                              music
haven’t danced in over a year and almost forgot what      for
my body remembers, as does my mind and both are             unforgiving
I feel sometimes that I’ve been living a life that’s lost in reality’s  creases
and my only way out and forward is simply determined                   in
what I do now to stay close and find hope for                                   myself
i wrote a poem out on the right,
and kinda longer version of, on the left.


Brandi Rene' 17JAN2001 - 10JUN2004
832 · Feb 2013
(split shift)
undefined Feb 2013
A news reporter from Dallas interviewing about the new parking spots.
Talks of war and military combat training with men who know a lot.
The sun is shining along the sidewalk in front of the courthouse square.
A lazy day lending hints of spring soon coming is in the air.
The bell in the tower across the street chimes,
telling me i've one more hour before work and i go back inside.
826 · Nov 2014
barber confessions
undefined Nov 2014
I drag a razor slowly across the face of this old man
as he tells me a story of youth and wasted times back when.
How he once stayed in 700 dollar hotels
and once performed on stage
He once had a family he loved and was religious in his faith.
he hesitates to tell me of
the worse parts of fate

But there's no need for words when I can read it all in his face.
divorce, deaths, explosions, deceit
******, vengeance, drugs and jail and violence and hate
all realized now, too old for mistakes
He raises an eye brow and says
"I've joined the working class again
I got a job at the restaurant down the street"
I'm glad for him I say
but wonder just how long it will last.

"I want to keep from killing myself and find something useful to do"
I tell him that we're done shaving his beard from his face now,
but he should maybe get a hair-cut as well.
He tells me, "maybe later..." He kind of likes it long,
"People don't bother with me very much at all.”
821 · Jan 2013
sitting outside the cafe
undefined Jan 2013
she wears those little
boots so well
short print skirt
dances with the breeze
out the bottom of her
light brown jacket with the fur lining
brushing back her jet black
hair with her fingers so nimble
her skin so fair...
its not fair
that i am not the sun that bathes her,
or the gentle gusting wind that sways her
... or the sucker that she licks :)

well, perhaps i am maybe
... a sucker

[she spies a chair beside me and sits]
just takin in the sights on the first beautiful day here in a few
801 · Mar 2013
it's the little things..
undefined Mar 2013
It’s the little hugs
(hello & goodbye)
It’s the little way you just
drop by, to say “hello & goodbye”

It’s the little smiles
Like at the corner of your mouth
Little memories made
every time we’re out

It’s the twinkle in your eyes
as corny as that sounds
The little way that you say things
The way that I feel around..

The little walks by your side
Your hair in moonlight
The way you make me wanna say things
the way I wanna write

The little part in your lips
when you’re listening to me
The little kiss I can’t wait to take
Once I’ve earned your trust in me

It’s the little breath, when you are close to my chest
And the little sink in my heart when it leaves
All the little text messages you send
and your voice on the phone talking
such a sap right now .......
793 · Mar 2013
morning
undefined Mar 2013
Alone in the park / 8:33
the morning's still young / birds are chirping
squirrels chase each other around trees
It's a good start to today / at 8:33
783 · Jan 2013
quiet night
undefined Jan 2013
looking up for your twinkling eyes
above cloud covers, it's nights like tonight
filled with feelings of indiffence
unsure of my place or if youre missed
silver / white gleam moves accross the sky
in view of steps where i sip on red wine
tommorrow is the begining of another week
i'll search out work, food and a place to sleep
but nights like tonight are lived moment to moment
unsure, but at peace with whatever gets thrown at...
(deep breath)

[Sounds of the "Lumineers" drift accross the yard
... and out into the darkness of the nite
with all thoughts of nothingness creep
and smoke from the last cigarette that sits perched 'tween lips
with glass, half full, dangling from fingertips]
783 · Feb 2013
??? madman journals ??
undefined Feb 2013
buried in my room , sinking deeper under cover
my mind closes down and the thought of the door (that **** door)
gets farther and harder, and farther away...

a breaker blows. (power out)

i sit up. still can't make the door,
but now I'm writing

I Must Get out of this Room .  

-worst case scenarios / stuck in my head-

(having not slept last night, i was determined today would be different)

I get up, then change my mind about a hundred times regarding a shower
...and try ...and try,  to just make it out the door
I drank a beer, smoked a whole pack, and took my Abilify by four..

[still feeling somehow trapped with no escape
                                     ... by that **** door]
allright , here it is...
I write primarily for thereputic purposes, but I have, for some time now, given thoughts to maybe perhaps posting
one or two, or just a few.. pieces of this sort of thing on here... ?? Not really sure yet ...
... don't know if its apropriate enough (or understandable by enough) to post as "poetry"
heheheh
773 · Nov 2013
waste (lost love song)
undefined Nov 2013
every letter and sweet word spill'd  
all the songs written and the one's that you will
lines of devotion and feelings unconstrained
emotions spent on strangers who betrayed
----------------------------------------------------------------­-----------------------------------------------------------------­------------
you wasted your "i love you's"
                                                   on somebody else
they went and broke your heart
                                                   a pain you shouldn't have felt
now i'm standing here lonely
                                                   heart left on the bottom shelf

'cause you wasted all "i love you's"
                                                   on somebody else
------------------------------------------------------------­-----------------------------------------------------------------­----------------
understanding the struggle of giving too much away
i understand the reasons why you'd feel so afraid
writing this down now 'cause i've too much to say
but i'm begging you now, please don't keep me at bay

...

how can i convince you that i'm for real?
how shall i explain the way that i feel?
you bring the sunshine after the rain
and every time i look at you i fall all over again
-----------------------------------------------------------­-----------------------------------------------------------------­-----------------
but you've wasted your "i love you's"
                                                          on somebody else
who went and broke your heart,
                                                 a pain you shouldn't have felt
now mine is yours to claim,  
                                                 but you've placed it on the shelf
"cause you wasted your "i love you's"
                                                                ­           on somebody else
started a little while back with just chorus lines...
?? suppose i just decided to go ahead and finish it
[let me know if it sounds too "thrown together"]
757 · Nov 2013
You seemed like Heaven...
undefined Nov 2013
I saw you wandering the streets
in my dreams
I asked you for my heart back

even saying "please"
I fell into the trap door of your eyes
looking right through me

i awoke with a start
still smelling your hair's scent,
briefly baffled at where my mind went

the devil in your eye had spoken to me,
not in a dream,
but a nightmare Hell sent
745 · Mar 2013
?
undefined Mar 2013
?
have you ever not wanted to remember
[wanted to forget]
keep memories hidden
[pushed/stored away, call it "repressed"]
so you wouldn't have to feel
(so you don't have 'regret').

but locked not so tight enough in your head,
    thoughts, feelings and dreams
         all flood in 'till your brain is bled. ..
                            'till your brain is lead ..
down a dark road of hurt and deceit
of abuse and lies,    explosions that leave..
                                 people who are ready for death alive,
                                and boys too young in life just,  
                                                                ­                         .... die


well then my friend, there's your answer in its simplest form
                                                            ­           ("what's P.T.S.D?")
sleepless night tonight.

just writing
743 · Dec 2012
…and it’s wicked ends
undefined Dec 2012
One smoke
One sip
One **** at a time

Taken back to the day
We shared paper and lines
I was straight-edge then
Not a drop to drink
I meditated on the balcony
You left dishes in the sink
Ross would bang *****
and smoke hella ****
Now he’s off spreading
theory and anarchy
I hear you’re doing well
A world of “special effects make-up”
I’m drowning in the desert
From a nightmare I can’t wake up
In another ten years we’ll look back and see

Who is broken
And who’s dying
As we all struggle to be free

of...
is that considered explicit?

just jotting down whats on my mind
about my old roomies from back home in Denton
undefined Jan 2013
Don't know how others do,
but from her, I get rave reviews ;)

See some people, in my opinion, just don't
know how to leave "perfect" alone.
And God bless her. She is perfect... and to her,
I am too.



-our two lonely hearts on completely seperate paths
far between and few crossings periodically over glasses and laughs
-holding in a special sort of love and comfort,  
the times that we spend together, as dreams and fantasies long remembered
-our two wounded hearts, full in so many other ways,
complete "What might have been," playing at house for a few mythical days



Ah, but life moves on, (Shakespere said, "Parting is such sweet sorrow")
we must again forward tread each our own roads "on 'morrow"...
And accept that "Life is what it is" and
[as Woody Allen said] "Whatever Works"


-perhaps this seems to detached of a view to some,
but tell the truth
-don't I count my love?.. [her fair skin, my muse]
does my love less intensify as we part... [unbrused]?
-Our love is good I say,   and shall remain unblemished
because we always say goodbye and part with a kiss, when finished

is not life , and art and their existence in need of some balance.
-As so, our friendship has remained for years by knowing
of Our love... and its limits
very tired
still writing here and there
words still coming out..
tommorrow or the day after i'll read and then figure out
717 · Oct 17
16 October 2024
undefined Oct 17
Ocean swells and cracks
Pushing foamy white lines
Higher and higher
Onto sand

Moon, so full
And unbelievably bright
Glows steady and far
This clear blue night
Sleeping on the beach tonight  😉
717 · Mar 2013
Voyager 1
undefined Mar 2013
Voyager 1 where are you now
over 17 hour wait just to find out
seeing far beyond the edge of the heliosphere
discovering new space, whisper in my ear
tell your tale, a journey beyond realms
is interstellar travel possible, what do you see?
leaving home outside your solar system for me
hitting the magnetic highway
soaring through electrical particle winds for days
if you change direction I'll know you've gone
far enough to change everything we've known so long
if you haven't heard by now much about this then you should check out current events in space
:) awesome stuff
715 · Apr 2016
7 minutes to midnight
undefined Apr 2016
There's a man outside the window
in faded blue jeans,
He's spun a web of lies and
deceit I aint never seen.

>Finger nail clippings and old emails
    Watching the world go 'round
>Angels like fireflies
   Watching the world go down

There's a woman outside the window
in a faded flannel gown,
She's not much to look at
when you're lookin' down.

>Angels like fireflies
  Can you tell sky, from ground?
>Carnival rides for cash pay-out
  And I'm watching the room spin 'round
...
"gas station guy" is gone now
bars hold the only light.
and if I'm lucky (through singin' here,
we can just call it a night.

>Angels like fireflies
  Can you tell sky, from ground?
>Dusty strings on this old guitar
  & It's time to turn around

7 minutes to midnight
in this old town.
When I'm done playing here,
probably never see me around
working on song
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