we started texting again
and for a second
it was like you wanted it
but now one minute you’re in it
then it’s like you didn’t
ever want to talk to me
why are you so confusing
my best friend says you’re love bombing
and that maybe you’re bored
so i just say i am too
to hide the fact that i actually want you

yes I did it
I messaged him
I can tell
he's mad at me
I'm not upset that he hates me
I'm upset I ruined it
a friendship that could've lasted
I mourn our full conversations
and our inside jokes
I mourn the loss of what could have lasted longer than it did
I fear I look for him in every person I meet
hoping to find someone like him
but its useless
there will never be another
just like him

why are guys so confusing?
because apparently some are obsessed with me
i wouldn’t know
i thought they all avoided me
and now i have a roster
i don’t want to be like that
yes options are good
but they all think that it’s just me and him
i feel bad
i feel like a bop
i don’t know
it’s weird

blonde                          brunette
blue eyes                  green eyes
tan                                  porcelain
soft nose                  sharp nose
gapped tooth smile perfect teeth
painted on makeup natural make up
judgy                          genuine
nice                          kind
average body          perfect hour glass
flat                              curvy
muscular skinny     healthy skinny
abs                                  flat stomach
freaky                          romantic
clingy                          adoring
they                          always
choose                          the
                   BLONDE