This is my voice,                                                           ­                                           
                                                                ­                                                      
pen & paper pain                                                             ­                                   
                                                                ­                                                      
I've made the choice                                                           ­                                     
                           ­                                                                 ­                            
to blot the stain                                                            ­                                                  
              ­                                                                 ­                               
Band-Aid pulled off,                                                             ­                                                           
     ­                                                                 ­                                                  
let the wound bleed                                                            ­                          
                                                                ­                                                      
Yes, it is
tough                                                           ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                         
but it's what I
need                                                             ­                                       
                         ­                                                                 ­                              
I can't pretend                                                          ­                                    
                            ­                                                                 ­                   
  that I am
  fine                                                          ­                                          
                      ­                                                                 ­                             
so, I use my pen                                                              ­                                
                                ­                                                                 ­                    
 to speak my
  mind                                                          ­                                  
                              ­                                                                 ­             
Journal
everything,                                                      ­                                    
                                                                ­                                            
getting it all
out                                                              ­                                  
                              ­                                                                 ­           
because doing
nothing                                                          ­                        
                                        ­                                                                 ­             
is a silent shout

I could write you a letter                                                           ­                                                  
                                                                ­                                                    
tell you how I really feel                                                             ­             
                                                                ­                                                    
Bare my heart on white
paper,                                                           ­                               
                                 ­                                                                 ­                
make assurances that it's real                                                             ­       
                                                         ­                                                   
Threaten you amongst hot
tears,                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                             
point my finger towards you                                                              ­                  
                                                                ­                                                      
but I know you have deaf ears                                                             ­       
                                                                ­                                                  
and feel nothing will ever do                                                               ­         
                                                                ­                                                  
The truth is we both try
  hard                                                          ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­             
and we are both
complicated                                                      ­                            
                                                                ­                                          
Holding to the chest all the cards                                                            ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                
that may be the key to save us                                                               ­   
                                                                ­                                            
Fearful to reveal our love                                                             ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­       
find reasons to give
up                                                               ­                                         
                       ­                                                                 ­                      
Never feeling we are loved                                                          
 ­                                                                 ­                                      
and unwilling to fully trust                                                            ­            
                                                                ­                                                      
It never is an easy thing,                                                           ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­        
to pretend we don't feel the pain                                                             ­       
                                                         ­                                                         
but deep inside we feel
something                                                        ­            
                                                    ­                                                              
that makes us want to try
again                                                            ­    
                                                                ­                                                    
So please believe nothing's
changed                                                          ­                                              
                  ­                                                                 ­                                 
My feelings of love remain,                                                          ­        
                                                        ­                                                          
you & I are too close to the
same                                                             ­               
                                                                ­                                                  
and I really want to try again

I'm trying hard to not react,                                                           ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­        
to get all of my power back                                                             ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­      
Calling on an inner peace                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                                        
to set me free & give me relief                                                           ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­          
As I breathe in and then exhale,                                                          ­                        
                                                                ­                                                      
my cooler head soon prevails                                                         ­                     
                                           ­                                                            
 Confident that I can
succeed,                                                         ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 
 that I have all that I need                                                             ­           
                                                                ­                                                    
So, the tables are
turning                                                          ­                                
                                ­                                                                 ­                 
and I find myself learning                                                         ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­            
That if I take it day by
day,                                                             ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­          
I might end up being okay

Here I stand before you,                                                             ­             
                                                                ­                                                  
heart shattered, ego bruised                                                          ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­          
  The accuser and the accused,                                                         ­                     
                                                                ­                                                        
all judgement coming from
you                                                              ­    
                                                                ­                                                      
I'm sorry I'm not able to be                                                               ­                                   
                             ­                                                                 ­                        
the person you're
remembering                                                      ­              
                                                                ­                                                  
What I think I often speak,                                                           ­       
                                                                ­                                                        
it doesn't make me fragile or
weak                                                             ­ 
                                                               ­                                                     
As you stand here beside me,                                                            
                                                                ­                                                  
  you still act high &
mighty                                                           ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­    
  Like you have the authority,                                                       ­               
                                                                ­                                                      
to question me so harshly                                                          ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­      
 If you get cut you still
  bleed,                                                        ­                        
                                        ­                                                                 ­         
   you are no different than me

One, Two, three breathe,                                                         ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­    
calmness washes over
me                                                               ­                                 
                                                                ­                                                  
Allow me to close my eyes,                                                            ­          
                                                                ­                                                        
let the world pass on by                                                               ­     
                                                           ­                                                     
Permit my mind drift away,                                                            ­        
                                                        ­                                                            
shift my focus to better days                                                             ­   
                                                             ­                                                       
Open up my wings and fly,                                                             ­                                                                 ­                                          
  a free and graceful
  butterfly                                                     ­                                 
                               ­                                                                 ­                  
Feel the mist in the clouds,                                                          ­              
                                                  ­                                                             
 erase any and all doubts                                                           ­                 
                                                                ­                                                
Face up into the hot sun,                                                             ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­        
looking down on everyone                                                         ­                         
                                                                ­                                                 
 The brightness is blinding
me                                                               ­         
                                                       ­                                                           
but it's what I needed to
see                                                              ­                  
                                              ­                                                              
Ex­actly how I want to feel                                                             ­                             
                                                                ­                                                    
so that I can begin to heal                                                             ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­
Let it lead where it
leads,                                                           ­                   
                                             ­                                                           
Calmn­ess washes over me

I am going to hide within myself,                                                          ­          
                                                      ­                                                            
seem­s I can't trust anyone else                                                             ­               
                                                 ­                                                           
  Betrayed by those closest to me,                                                            
 ­                                                                 ­                                                  
why is this even happening?                                                       ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­                    
  I'm no longer able to afford trust,                                                           ­     
                                                                ­                                                  
when do I say enough is enough!                                                          ­                                              
                                                                ­                                                      
  Life shouldn't be this hard,                                                            ­                        
                                        ­                                                                 ­           
it's time I chest all my cards                                                            ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­             
I guess what they say is true,                                                            ­                      
                                                                ­                                                        
  the only true best friend is you

There's no sense in me giving my opinions,                                                        ­              
                                                  ­                                                                
when you're the one making all the decisions                                                      
                                                                ­                                                    
Your attitude makes me feel worthless,                                                       ­     
                                                                ­                                                            giving you my heart, Oh so careless                                                         ­ 
                                                               ­                                                   
What happened to the man you used to
be?                                            
                                                                ­                                                      
Not this figure standing over me,                                                              ­            
                                                                ­                                                  
veins bulging out of your neck,                                                            ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­         
while your dark eyes are seeing
red                                                              ­                          
                                                                ­                                                  
Was the love you spoke of, ever real,                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                                  
was it all words that you didn't feel?                                                        
   ­                                                                 ­                                                 
 If I don't leave you, I'll never
be                                                               ­         
                                                       ­                                                     
anyone I had ever hoped to be                                                               ­   
                                                                ­                                                        
  I don't know if you care or can't
see,                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                             
                                                                ­                                                
 that your kind of love is killing me