It is happening once again
I am getting addicted to my drug
I thought I was finally over it
But bigger fractals keep reiterating it

It is happening once again
I am spiralling into depression
That source of an artist

Where is home, I searched it everywhere
In the rooms of my soul, at the corners of betrayals.

That inner child, that outer vile.
That immense hope, that long road.
That joyous fervour, that tenuous branch.
That life's river, that roof's rope.
All good. All over.

I can write sad poetry
It’s all too easy
My pen can weep,
The ink will bleed,
Tears of papery grief.

My wound can ever bleed,
A heart that seeps,
A river of unease,
Tears without cease.

Why this is,
I do not know,
All the while my smile never fades,
Sunshine or rainy day,
Dreary winter or summer haze.

I’d like to sit in a paper boat,
Float downstream.
Let the river lead.
Let my poetry find relief,
All my characters finally in reprieve.

Let it be,
All within at ease,
The lion no longer need pace.
Today, tomorrow and yesterday,
Exist only within me
And tonight, the silence is all I need.

I feel them touching me
in my sleep .
That morning I spent as a servant .
☆
They leave signs for me
on the road .
A person's name scribed
upside down ,
three times and in a row .
☆
I feel them next to me
on my bed .
That morning I spent as a servant .
☆
They reveal many things
in my dreams .
A story that was hidden ,
concealed ,
three times and in a row .

I've been in therapy
It helped a little bit
The therapist listened well
But then I had to go

I am a troubled soul
Never quite at ease
Kamakura Buddha
Kamakura snow

Sleep well, my darling sons
Dream of destiny
Ordinary days
Wander to and fro

Candle in the wind
Rain upon the window
Mist in the mountains
One light does glow

             Yoko yo yo!

carry me the comfort of tomorrow,

until you bring the dawn,

love me in my darkest hour,

unlike the love i've lost.

i'll be merry when you're merry,

then i'll miss you when it's gone,

i know nothing of forever,

but i know how much it cost.