Piercing hazel eyes
whispering **** secrets
across the table

Back to school savings 
Buy one get one free tazers 
and bulletproof vests

Replace the B with an M
and that's what you make me 
when you act out 
Replace the M with an S 
and that's how we both feel
after the fact 
Replace the S with a D 
and that's why I'm so hard
on you son 
Replace the D with a GL
and that's how I feel 
when you don't break the rules

Blood shot
EYES
Lack of
SLEEP
Doing drugs
PARTYING
Three day
******
With some
FRIENDS
But do
FRIENDS
let other
FRIENDS
Look like
THIS
You ask
YOURSELF
As you
LOOK
In the
MIRROR
Picking your
FACE
Covered in
SCABS
You are
UGLY
Just like
THEM
A voice
YELLS
Let’s go
DUDE
We got
MORE
Being sober
*****
When your
THOUGHTS
Suggest getting
HELP
Numb the
PAIN
With your
FRIENDS
Together is
BETTER
Than by
YOURSELF
Together you
REMAIN
Just like
THEM
A bad
FRIEND
A good
FRIEND
It just
DEPENDS
Who you
ASK ?
Misery loves
COMPANY

...............I        ​​​​O      I      O
              I                  I
...............I..................I...............
       ­       I                  l
     X       I        X       l      X
...................................................
    ­          I                  I
              I                  I­      O
              I                  I

​​​​​​TIC TAC FOE

I trusted you
enough to let you win
You broke my heart
when you purposely lost
Our love

No, no,no,no,no 
No not today, not at all
No, no not today

“ You can look but don’t touch “
EYE-CANDY
” You can taste but don’t feel “
SEE-WHAT-I-MEAN
” Reality is perception after all “
WORK-HARD-TO-CHANGE-IT

When letters form words from thoughts that were born of feelings... ink becomes blood!

    "ink becomes blood, when you pen from the presence or lack of love."

Green-light from hello
Fast around first-base
Started to round second-base
Yellow-light now exposed
Quick to third-base I sprinted
Red-light came on just before
HOME
As she pointed her finger
towards the front door
and gave me a quick peck
on my disappointed face
but hey you can't blame a guy
for trying to get a homerun

Phone 99 percent charged
and I’m 1 percent sane

Phone 1 percent charged
and I’m 99 percent sane

CHARGE YOURSELF
just as much
as you do
your PHONE

There’s a war overseas
There’s a war outside
There’s a war in the sky
There’s a war worldwide  
The war I’m most concerned
about, is the war inside my
MIND

My feelings hurt 
my feelings ScReAm
in pain
My feelings long 
for SoMeOnE to 
come along 
My feelings have 
been through alot 
My feelings never 
have forgot 
The past, the worst,
or the best memories 
My feelings are sore 
my feelings are tired 
My feelings lost 
their voice 
My feelings just want to 
RETIRE 
Are you the one 
my feelings whisper 
inside my head 
when my feelings 
are grabbed 
Her voice
her smile 
her lips
her body 
her personality 
her demeanor 
her story 
has my feelings 
going crazy 
inside my body 
"Is she the one?"
My feelings ask 
I reply disappointed, 
"Im not sure yet"
but my feelings 
still keep
FEELING

I escaped reality
to realize it was fake
Until I removed myself
it was impossible to see
I escaped a life sentence
of remaining the same
Now that I'm better
I'm back in the picture
Witnessing others
victim to bad patterns
I now have the strength
to continue to change
I realize the same pain
these loved ones suffer
But when I try to explain
it falls on deaf ears
They find more comfort
in the constant pain
They forever will be
trapped within false reality
I forever will try
to get them to listen
But I have accepted
this may not ever be
A successful mission
that I have taken

Scars scare the far fares of those who sight what only they see. Shallow intrigue these that believe, for one may be strucken with grief infinitely from false imagery. When labeled and condemned biasly from strictly physicality, one may just become the projection of those that seek to judge.

Because I’m not happy 
you never will be 

Because I have insecurities 
I will point out your flaws 

Because my past is frightening 
our future together will be too 

Because I was scared 
I will continue to scare you 

Because I deserved better 
you will always deserve better 

Because I’m the product 
you will never reach the solution 

Because I love you 
I will never let you go 

Because I told you this 
you have moved on 

Because you moved on 
I decided to get help 

Because I got help 
I have started to grow 

Because you loved me 
I felt the need to change 

Because it killed me to hurt you 
you know it did wholeheartedly 

Because we both knew 
I never did it intentionally 

Because I was a victim 
to some bad patterns 

Because you fought me 
I was able to break free 

Because you loved me 
you helped me to change

——————————————
|                                                 |

|                INSIDE                     |

|                  THE                        |

|                   BOX                      |  

|———————————- —|

THINK

DREAMS            DREAMS
  E       T              DEATH
   A     O               STORMS
   T     R                HOME
   H O M E
           S

LIGHTNING ⚡️ BOLTS

NIGHTMARES  NIGHT-MARES
O                  A    SAFETYNETS
 N                F        NONSENSE
  S              E               ESCAPE
   E             T                    LOST
    N           Y
     S          N
     ESCAPE
                 T
            LOST

STORM ⛈ CLOUDS

B                             BRAINS
RAIN                            RAIN
A     I                          NIGHT
I     G                            STOP
N  H 
STOP
 
RANDOM 🧠 THOUGHTS 


 DREAMS TURN TO 
NIGHTMARES AMIDST 
OUR BRAINS 

DEATH WITHOUT 
SAFETYNETS POUR 
DOWN RAIN 

STORMS OF
NONSENSE 
AT NIGHT 

HOME WE 
ESCAPE 
PLEASE STOP 

LOST !

Pick me up 
after 
Letting me down 
before 
Promising your love 
after 
Gaining my trust 
before 
Sharing your thoughts 
after 
Asking me out 
before 
Our eyes met 
after 
That random night 
before 
We made out
after 
Falling in love
before 
The future pain 
after 
We broke up

Find faith in what it takes to forever evolve, to forever change, to forever break the bad patterns and with no mistake maintain the belief you forever will lead and not be tempted to fall astray from what it is you need and seek.

Rehearse
NOTHING
Raw emotions
I ink
My feelings
Become known
SHOWN
For the world
To see
AGREE
OR
NOT
DISAGREE
It’s okay
We all don’t
Need to believe
The same things
In a world
Where we
find things
of difference
TO HATE
CREATE
PAIN
rather than
LOVE
EXPOSE
the ones
Who fake
to make
HOPE
Let’s lay
to rest
Let’s pass
the test
Let’s do
OUR BEST
and FOCUS
on just being
GOOD HUMANS
forget the rest

BE REAL
I ask who you are?
YOU REPLY
to quickly REHEARSED
Of course
It's human nature
a: NATURAL REACTION
a: DEFENSE MECHANISM
I can tell
YOU'RE NOT
the only
ONE
BE REAL
Not just to me
but EVERYBODY
INCLUDING YOURSELF
Don't fear
who you are
ACKNOWLEDGE
the
FLAWS
SCARS
PAST
INSECURITIES
and all thee
ABOVE
BE REAL
tell me how
YOU FEEL
without
MASS appeal
BE REAL
Life is to fragile
life is to short
life is to familiar
for US
ALL to
BE THE SAME
BE REAL
Amongst a world of fakes
filled with actors and actresses
the "MR" and "MRS" PERFECT
selling and telling
the dream they don't
BELONG TO
for far to long
that they forget
what is true and false
LOST
BE REAL
love yourself
learn from the past
REARRANGE things
CHANGE things
Allow things
to PROMOTE
YOURSELF
GENUINELY
BE REAL
You deserve to
others desire
THE REAL YOU
but most importantly
SO DOES YOURSELF
BE REAL

Mean
Anger
stranger
be nice
Moisturizer cream
Apply
To yourself
Soak
It up
Dont
Give up
Again
Win
The battle
quit
SINNING
LIVING LIFE
gone
Left, right
Shoulders
One side
Weighted
Boulders
An angel
Battling
Across from
Your devil
Bass to
Trebble
words fading
Contemplating
Feelings
Screaming
**** the world
Hell on earth
FADED
LOST
COST
MIGHT BE
your life ?
all lower case
Why ?
BECAUSE
EMPHASIS
wanted
To be
Or not
But was
Conveyed
To present
The fact
you are
iNsIgNiFiCaNt
TO ME
LOOK UP
to see me
I look down
still letting you
BREATHE

His only son gone
sacrificed for forgiveness
I wouldn’t my son

I see through fresh eyes a life that you would want. I live with a fresh and healthy mind now, now without you. I think to myself how easy you could fit into this life now but that's not what I want. I see myself now too, with these fresh eyes and healthy mind... and boy do I think, we both got what we deserve!

Mated to separated 

Interested to un

I do to I don't 

Passion to passing 

Forever to never 

Star crossed to scar 

In love to love lost 

Together to gone 

Remain to de 

Two became to one 

Missed to missing 

Forgotten to forget 

Threat to regret 

In-between is by far,
what I enjoyed the most

After the love 
and before the pain 

Between my arms 
and between yours too

But that was then 
and this is now

Reminiscing to reality 

Eventually I'll face, 
the stone cold truth 

Eventually my love

Sincerely, your past flame

Four score and seven years ago..........Who really knows what happened? History books teach us what the Government wants, CoNvEnIeNtLy! Four score and seven years from now.........They will continue to do the same!

Truth was spoken 
honesty was shared 
Feelings were hurt 
damage was done

Hereditary
SCARY
Carry the burdens
Within my
DNA
Regardless
the growth
My memory
of the pain
Will never be
GONE
Ever
Never
WILL I FORGET
The ****
that they dealt
ME
but
since I realized
the life
I have !
REALIZED
the importance
of accepting the
PAST
Dissecting it
and
the importance
of
MOVING-ON
GROWTH
The blood
I was
made from
may be thicker than
WATER
BUT
never
HAVE I
been treated worse
from a stranger
than my own
BLOOD

The love of my life
the one that
forced me to
open my eyes
Allowing myself
to see
allowing myself
to believe
Has been gone
for quite sometime
but I can’t
get her
off my mind
I ******* miss her
and can’t turn off
the love she created
within my soul
by being herself
She’s an Angel
she’s my Angel
but these demons
refused to let
our love survive
With time
we grew
further and further
apart until the flame
was entirely lost
her name
I called
her love
I screamed for
I remained
far down below
all that made sense
lifting myself up
with the overflowing tears
Just as I
quit feeling sorry
for myself
is when I truly
began to bleed
knowing the love
I had thrown away
knowing the woman
I unintentionally discarded
Well she reached out to me
it turns out she still loves me
It turns out, she knows the pain
I endured, the trauma
I was forced to be one with
She wants to be
back in my arms
but the damage
has been done
her oldest son
refuses to allow
us to get back together
and makes threats to her
that he will never ever
speak to her again
if she gets
back with me
BITTERSWEET
I love her to much
to put her in
that situation
To know, she wants me
and I want her too
to know we want to meet
but I refuse to go
knowing it would
just make things worse
until she can
figure out
how to make it work
forever and not just
right now
until we both know
how to make it work
in a way that can last
FOREVER
Then I refuse to
get thrown back in
I miss her more
than words can express
She is my forever
but right now
it seems like
she is my never
But I refuse
to lose her again
Until she can be mine
for sure
then I cannot
be hers at all
I’m sorry
Jen

Her touch a rush I still chase
her touch lost from chasing others
Others touch couldn't compare how dare I chase anothers
She's gone now and I'm all alone missing our home
now
Others here now and I'm all alone missing the one that
mattered
I'm laying in a bed I made and I cannot ever get comfortable now
I'm alone now and wondering how I couldn't  see what
mattered
She was taken for granted and I take full responsibility for my actions or lack of
She deserved way better but I never figured out how to change for the better
She's gone now and the growth from the pain of her loss I have endured seemed so natural
She's gone forever and the pleasure from the growth cannot be celebrated for I have lost my true love

My life’s demise
was in the disguise
of a love potion
but really a notion
in ALCOHOL
to allow me to
**** things up

My life’s entirety
relies solely on
my ability to face
my problems with
my SOBRIETY
no longer a victim
to numbing the pain

American Dream,
     or better yet a nightmare?
Look at the numbers

                    Failure more likely
the statistics just don't lie
                     Just try to survive

Politics, crime rates
       terrorist plots, pandemics
and everything else

               Life is more about
protecting yourself more than
      focusing on growth

                  A reality
we all must accept right now
          It's the bitter truth

Someone else has those shoes
someone else has that purse
I’ve seen cars just like yours
there’s three trucks in town just like that
Someone else has that house
SUBDIVISION
Someone else has that thought
someone else has caught that fish
I KNOW YOU’RE PROUD
YOU HAVE WORKED HARD
BUT THE ONE THING
SOMEONE ELSE DOES’NT
HAVE …. IS YOUR PAST!  

Talk about that !

I gave up on god
there’s only myself to blame
I can’t trust in faith

No more asking why
no more blaming someone else
no more excuses

I gave up on god
there’s only myself to name
I can’t accept him

No more blaming him
no more defending myself
no more excuses

I gave up on god
there’s only myself to shame
I can’t avoid it

No more pretending
no more relying on him
no more excuses

Every emotion or feeling 
whether good or bad 
happiness or pain
love or hate, all 
came from 
these 26
letters 
A-Z
A-Z
look at
what you
have done 
there would be 
no one to blame 
for the words spoken 
or for the words written

Sunshine is useless
against enormous white clouds
man, I hate dating

Victims to ourselves
captive to our minds
hostage to our hearts
Lost and found thoughts
weigh heavy in our hearts
Lost and found love
weigh heavy in our minds
If only we could see
what it is we need
But the fact remains
our thoughts and love
will always remain blind
to each-other
Unlike our feelings
those forever will show
even when it’s not in
our benefit because
our minds and hearts
know what they want
but it’s not always
In our benefit
So we remain
victims to ourselves
captive to our minds
and hostage to our hearts

Light equals Life 
Dark equals Death 
Lightless thoughts 
provide Lifeless dreams 
Darkness takes over 
providing Deathless dreams 
Light is found
in my nightmares 
When I can actually FEEL
Life is gone 
in my daydreams 
as they tease me with 
HAPPY THOUGHTS 
that never will eXiSt
Dark days and nights 
I forever remain to
Death is an acquaintance 
but only visits everyone else around me, I live this Dark-Life guided by Death's Light 
cApTiVe To ThEsE
~~~~~bLuRrEd-LiNeS~~~~~
             L              i
             u             F
             R             e
             r
             E
             d

Bored you are
alone and afraid
Those demons
in your closet
Call your name
when absent from
DISTRACTIONS
So you act out
to avoid the pain
But I don’t take it
PERSONAL
As I can read
between the lines
Its their fault
not yours
As they are
the ones
That made you
who you are

Bad people aren't born they are made Thanks mom and dad 

​​​Bad people aren't born they are made Thank your grandma and grandpa 

Bad people aren't born they are made Thank your great grandma and great grandpa 

Good people aren't born they are made ​​​​​​Outside my family tree I have met some 

Good people don't blame others, they take responsibility ​That's how I'm becoming a good person 

Good people aren't always born or made ​​​However through the desire to change anyone can become a:
GOOD PERSON!

Pain to Painful 
Trouble to Troubled
A Life to A Life Sentence 
Fumbled to Humbled 
Children to Child run 
Far to Not Far enough 
Your not guilty
to
You are guilty 
Of these Patterns 
You didnt start 
to 
Finished 
another Life 
GONE

I was beneath the lowest point in life looking up with my curious face, catching tears of happiness from the ones that rest above

As I tried to climb myself up out of the hole I dug, I eventually gave up and fell face first in the bottomless pit

Completely submerged at the bottom of everyone else’s sorrows, pain, fears, joy, happiness, love and heartbreak

They all continued to walk on me as they tried to make their way to a better place further up the chain regardless the bloodshed from the weaker souls below......

I drowned

For every person
that told me
I wasn’t
GOOD-ENOUGH

For every person
that told me
I wasn’t
WORTHY

For every person
that treated me
horribly
ABUSE

For every person
that took advantage
of me
WILLINGLY

For every person
that put themself
before me
SELFISH

I used to
think I deserved
all of you
WHOLEHEARTEDLY

Until I learned
to love myself
for who I am
SELF-DISCOVERY

To every person
who treated me
like dog ****
I FORGIVE YOU

Because I realize
as I have grown
it wasn’t me
that caused you
all of the
PAIN

But rather yourself
from everyone else's
actions and words
creating self-hate
INSECURITIES

I recommend you
focus on yourself
and quit deflecting
your past flaws
focusing on
EVERYONE ELSE

There’s one person
I listen to
he looks me
dead in the
EYES

His reflection no-longer
scares me anymore
because I finally
LOVE MYSELF

Drown the pain
Regret the threats
Your subconscious
Tells yourself
Don’t listen
Reply back
With laughter
Choose happiness
And choose
To love
Yourself regardless
Let go
Let love
For yourself
take over
Regardless the
Past pain
Or insecurities
Just be
Yourself genuinely
And accept
Who you
Truly are
Move on
Love life
And your
True self
For who
You are

Ball and chain
BRAIN
CAPTIVE
thoughts and actions
PRE-DETERMINED
PROGRAMMED
insecurities and trauma
INGREDIENTS
WITHIN  
constant struggles
INTERNALLY
HARVESTED
unacquainted values
ROLE-MODELS
NONEXISTENT
desired changes
ACCEPTANCE
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
investigating history
PERSONAL
PAST
dissecting situations
REGARDLESS
DARKNESS
managing behaviors
BREAKING
PATTERNS
using exercises
SELF-TAUGHT
EDUCATION
moving forward
WITH
GOALS
staying focused
EVERYDAY
AHEAD

Inhale negativity
Exhale positivity
OPTIMISM
Inhale positivity
Exhale negativity
PESSIMISM
Don't take
Life for
GRANTED

Freedom costs, can you spare
some change says the guy
holding the sign
———————
|      NEED       |
|     MONEY     |
———————
           |
You look at the stoplight and think please turn green but it remains red

You grab your wallet and take what little bit of cash you have and hand it to him

You reply back “ you are 100’/,
correct, it isn’t free is it ? as the green light appears

There’s a hurricane
amidst these eyes
as the waves of tears
confront the fears
dramatically washing
down to shore
There’s a forest fire
amidst this heart
as the flames of Hell
engulf the lies
burning the passion
leaving pain behind
There’s a tornado
amidst this mind
as the funnel of thoughts
violently get tossed
contradicting each-other
with lost feelings
GONE

.............11  12   01
         10                02
      09         ?            03
        08                   04
            07   06   05

Go ahead and plan out every minute of your day, I don't recommend it because : UNLIKE YOU, plans do change!

Two hearts spinning
fast enough to take flight
Two blades spinning
fast enough to take lives
Love can be, one hell of a
HELICOPTER RIDE