NOTES:
(Buster my 31lb Shih-tzu that saved my life ... literally! )

My dog, my angel 
my hero and my savior 
my one and only

My life in pieces,
my world in pages.
I'll never finish this puzzle.
I'll never finish this book.

I keep collecting.
I keep reading.
I keep placing.
I keep writing. 

Eventually I'll figure it out, 
I'll never quit fighting. 
Battles won, battles lost.
I refuse to stop, regardless......

Since my breakup 
I realized the importance 
of threats from debt 
wieghing down 
a relationship 
Since my breakup
I have made a promise 
to not have one 
monthly obligation
regardless the sacrifice 
Since my breakup 
I moved in with family 
in order to save money 
and paid cash for a camper 
so I could live, rent free 
Since my breakup 
I paid cash for a pickup 
that easily could last me 
the next 20 years to come, not paying one penny to interest 
Since my breakup 
I have been saving 
as much as possible 
versus financing 
MY AMERICAN DREAM 
Since my breakup 
I bought a sports car 
that was the one to have 
when I was in highschool 
another goal Im proud of 
Since my breakup 
I have divided and conquered 
all the debts and threats 
of monthly obligations 
and rearranged my desires 
Since my breakup 
I have realized what i want 
and Im proud to say 
I finally purchased 
my own piece of land 
Since my  breakup
I have discovered 
my desire to live simple 
and my next mission
is to build a home on my land 
BUY DIRT

I’m just a cage
what you see
is matterless

It’s what I protect
it’s what I hide
that matters

Beneath the flesh
behind the tissue
beneath the bones

Lays a heart of gold
rests a beautiful mind
holds an old soul

Of course I look familiar
because you only see
a cage within sight

Cage of rain
shelter tree
leaves keep me
dry under branches
holding them high
Mother Nature’s Gazebo

Fake news everywhere
why can’t we just hear the truth
it will set us free

Back to school
fun for most
especially the cool kids

You know the ones
I’m talking about, they always get
what they want

Covered in namebrands
multiple pairs of shoes
designer backpacks

They don’t ride the bus
their parents are rich
so they get dropped off

By their moms
in expensive luxury cars
and picked up too

But for the kids
that aren’t as blessed
the first day of school

Seems like Hell
dressed in hand me downs
wearing generic shoes

The same backpack
as they had last year
the only thing genuine

Is their fear
always being picked on
their heads facing the ground

Just hoping to go unnoticed
afraid of the jocks, preps
and the rich kids

Feeling like their only place
in school truly is
to provide amusement

FOR THE FILTHY RICH
to prey on, making themselves
feel better off others misfortune

SICK

Wheres the vaccination
to prevent these statistics
that consistently wreak havoc

Taking the lives
of the most innocent
just trying to better themselves

By getting an education
forced on them
by the state who mandates

THEM

PLEASE CHILDREN,
PLEASE HAVE YOUR
MASKS ON!

When you vent
they who cares
will listen
When you cry
they who cares
will comfort
When you write
they who cares
will reply
When you can't
they who cares
wont care
They just want
you to feel
forever loved
SELFLESS

"Dont worry about what others think".........How many times have we heard that ?

A lot less than all the times we have acceptingly been judged!

Day 1, we are born, pictures of us blasted all over the internet showing us off.

Every check up we go to as youth, whispers go heard about our growth

And where we fit on the charts compared to who ?
everyone

Every single first day of school, all eyes on us, dress to impress

School picture day, lets profit off these kids images and apply more unnecessary pressure

Quarterly report cards, graded papers, parent teacher conferences

Who cares about your life changes and puberty, you must do better

Lets not forget sports try-outs, you made it, he *****, shes cut

JUDGEMENT

To think this all isnt pressure is ridiculous to know we measure A-Z on everyone from day one

"Dont worry about what others think"........How many times have we heard that?

Character is successfully built on a foundation formed from caring

Dont take these judgements more seriously or give more importance than:

The heart that beats behind the scenes subject to all these judgements

" People dont care how much you know until they know how much you care"

Blood and flesh over ink and paper, in person acknowledgement

VERSUS

Preconceived notions, the death potion to humanity as it kills all :
HOPE
FAITH
DREAMS
RESPECT
KINDNESS
CHARACTER

            .....­........................
            [ JUDGEMENT ]
            [           on          ]
            [           ⬇️          ]
            [           off          ]
​​​            .............................
​​​​

Forecast calls for ?
Brainstorm
Topic choice
dark humor
Said the weatherman

With a chance of ?
thought cloud
wait for it
Punchline
heavy winds

On and off
light switch
brain showers
random thoughts
grab your umbrellas

If I had a dollar
for every time
the weatherman
was wrong
Well , I’d be rich
sometimes I think
he forgets, who is
in charge

It’s the big guy
upstairs holding the phone
as this is, his write
Poet God
well not really
but it sounded good

As the blue lights
from the television
keep the eyes lit
that are heavy
from a long day
COMMERCIAL
ADVERTISING
replies keep them up

Something is on your mind
you can’t quite place it
if only you could
but every other distraction
and you forget about it
but deep inside the pain
is still ticking
Marco ...... the call goes
unnoticed , if only it was
that easy but no Polo
to point it out

What’s wrong
your significant other asks
as you’re lost in the show
before answering
you think to yourself
why ask now
instead of during the
COMMERCIALS

Snap back from that thought cloud and answer
“nothing dear”
you sure ? “Uh huh”
meanwhile amidst your mind
a pinball machine
of stress from A through Z
isn’t it obvious if they ask
“ you sure ?” then they know
SOMETHINGS WRONG

Im just gonna go to bed !
you get up , they shake
their head AKWARD
yeah being single
isn’t so bad after all

Wake up in a sweat
info commercial advertising
cha cha chia pet
with clay dish
3 payments of
$9.95 , it was a dream
thank God
but then you hear
“what’s wrong dear”
you look to your side
and SCREAM ... NOOOO!
It’s your life After-all

I'm so ******* uncomfortable it makes sense, I'm outside my own skin, I vowed whatever it took to become a success !

Year one cannot come 
without day 1 coming first 
You could start today

Anticipate wanted change.........
Desire needed change..........
OR better than both.........
Create change ...........

Money isn't everything, they say... Happiness cannot be bought! They brought the beast out in us... When they fought!
Losing a war, is not nor never an option... WHEN YOU ARE MEN LIKE US!
We take it personal, because... We are men of our words!

Disrespect me
          to check me
                       If i refuse
   to disrespect back
       Then
You will
       continue to walk
                      all over me
    so i fire back
​​​         Then .........

Attention desired
in order to feel
IMPORTANT
Insecurities desired
attention to feel
SECURE
Wether good or bad
attention granted
REALITY
Seek what you deserve
not what you’ve learned
DIFFERENCE
Lose your”self”
in order to find
YOURSELF

Left to right
far away to real close
oblivious to obvious
avoided to attracted
insecure to confident
confused to understanding
blaming to accepting
following to leading
ignorant to learning
learning to teaching
quitting to experimenting
witnessing to participating
staying to changing
To to or not to is the question?
It only took one to
to change my life
as it lead to another to
and that to led to two more to’s
and so on and so forth

Duck, duck, duck, GOOSE 

PEEK-A-BOO, I see you 

Tag your it

Ring around the rosie 
pocket full of posies 
ashes ashes 
WE ALL FALL DOWN 

Now you see me 
Now you don't 
Hide and Seek

Hocus-Pocus 
Abbra cadabra
Magic trick 

Simon says.... stop
Sit...wait Simon 
didn't say 
GOT U 

I Spy with my 
little eye .....

and the list
goes ON

Child's GAMES 

oh wait can't forget 
PICK UP STICKS 
or
Kick the can.........

THE END

Earth, wind and fire 
Mother Nature’s remedies 
relaxing at night 
​​​​​​​

Fill in the blanks
think
to your strengths
recognize
your weaknesses
then
decide the change
become
who you deserve
along
with them too
decide
now you win
live
the good life
become
the one they need
WIN

................NORTH
                      

                      C
                      R
WEST      CROSS           EAST
                      S
                      S
                    
                 SOUTH

A split second
lost in time
The end result
an unfinished circle
Only one millimeter
shy from completeness
It was just enough gap
for her to slip away
Gone between the crack
but who can we blame
It was'nt our faults
but much rather times

Shower before you eat
so you can eat cleanly
Crave calories *****
so you eat like ****
Try this diet ....
Shower before you eat
You eat what you feel like
I feel like ****, before I shower
So I get clean
before I eat
take a shower
and eat clean
HEALTHY

...............................................
l                                           I
l                                           I
l             MORALS              I
l                                           I
l                                           I
I............................................I

Morals are in the box 
for what is right is right 
and what is wrong is wrong 
black and white, no gray area 
.............................................
I                                         I
I                                         I  t
I          MORALS               I  h
I                                         I   i
I                                         I   n
I...........................................I   k

So to think outside the box 
sure it seems inoccent at first
however with much thought 
look at what we have found 
 ...............        []                      S
C    C     I        f               C       E
R    U     I        i               O      L
E    R     I        n              R      F
A    I      I        e              R      D
T   O     I         l               U     A
I    S      I        i               P      M
V   I       I       n              T       N
I    T      I       e               I         I
T   Y      I       []              O       N
Y           I       []              N       G
..............I       []
There's a fine line between 
creativity vs corruption and
curiosity vs self-damning 
life isnt intended to be:

A SCIENCE PROJECT

.........BELIEFS.................
I    F RIENDS                 I      S
I    A      Values              I      C
I    M      Curiosity         I      I
I     I         Love               I     E
I     L    Creativity          I     N
I.....Y.....MORALS............I      C
                                                E
                                                !
                                                !
...............gray area.................!

Abused, confused, infused with bad love

At hands, with words
From effect, from cause 
Loved ones, the world 

Regrets, threats, lets just give up 

My hands, my words
My effect, my cause
My love, the world 

"I've become what it is that I feared, I remained the same as the ones with fake love."

I told you I’ve changed
you agreed I have
You told me, you heard
the old me today
I told you, indeed you had
you replied, that scared me
I told you it scared me too
but that side of me
IS THE SIDE
YOU BRING OUT
I told you don’t blame me
you disagreed with my thoughts
You told me you still fear me
I replied, you scare me too
Let’s agree, we aren’t
good for each-other  
I told you today
we both just needed closure
To be able move on
let not fear hold us back
But rather the doubt
that brings fear to light
You told me,
it’s time to move on
I told you, I couldn’t agree more
I’ll still miss “us”
but from the good memories
we shared
My precious
long lost love
it’s time
we both move on

Hate torments lost souls, love cannot be understood genuinely to those that cannot love themselves. Buried alive in shallow graves for all to witness their flaws.
They wear their hearts on worn sleeves, covering scars that refuse to leave. Misunderstood by most, hurt by most, lost by all, no one can be trusted, no one at all.
Perpetual pain, fueled by the bitter truth and hidden beneath the comfort of the believed lies...... Life may be nonfiction, but most that live it, choose to do so in fiction!

When money prevents you from your dreams...money you may or may never have. 

When a decision prevents you from your dreams...a decision you can make.

So is it safe to assume we enjoy the comfort of having something to blame.....

Sun in the sky
looked up to
for warmth
Clouds in the sky
looked upon for
meaningful luck

Moon in the sky
looked up to
for light
Stars in the sky
looked upon for
meaningful love

I wake up cold
shes not
by my side
I wake up alone
shes not
my goodluck

I go to bed alone
my life seems
so dark
I go to bed hurt
my love has
disappeared

Where’s the common sense
where’s the comments
Oh that makes sense
they can’t realize it

You might have a bad day
You might have a bad week
You might have a bad month

You shouldn't have a bad year
Or else you are in the wrong
line of work

Common Cents 
past tense 
seems gone 
lost 
the cost 
more sins 
less gifts 
no presents 
just ask yourself 
WHY CANT WE ALL 
JUST GET ALONG
makes sense 
to much 
quite obvious 
without difference 
we all 
would be the same 
lame 
tame 
these pro-democritical
THOUGHTS 
lay them to rest
cots 
laser printed 
remarks 
robots 
marked dots 
melted down
recyclables in pots 
dumped in molds 
hault 
stop 
wait
what? 
one thing 
that cant be 
mass-produced 
to fill those plots
IS A GOD GIVEN HEART 
the cost 
for admission 
besides 
complete 
submission 
can be bought 
with 
common-cents 
from common-wealth 
knowledge 
is what im referencing 
not monetary values 
faith is free to adopt 
but itll literally be 
A GUARANTEED RETURN

That’s not me
nor is he
those names you say
I refuse to claim
those stories you tell
have nothing to do
WITH ME
You may disagree
you may say I’m wrong
But your words
and your thoughts
Along with your feelings
and preconceived
personifications
of me and who I am
MEAN NOTHING TO ME
Because you haven’t ever
WALKED A MILE
IN MY SHOES
sorry

Life conditions us
We condition life
What condition are you?
What condition is life?
Conditional statements
Conditional questions
Conditional answers
Conditionally speaking
that is........

Eye dont care
eyes wont either
Wether one or two
They refuse to pay attention
Those images I just can't
AFFORD
LISTEN
Those words mean something
they accept their purpose
Wether one or two
ears both hear
Ear will hear

Consistently making decisions sporadically, sporadically deciding to pretend to be consistent.....hmmmmm! 

It's no wonder why you're constantly facing guaranteed grief, for your foundation built involves little to no planning!

Common sense is less common than uncommon sense, literally speaking. The fact we admit and know this is what makes it scary.

Fear has never distracted nor prevented me from falling victim to the process of elimination. I refuse to live or act on fear. 

The power to gain motivates me far more than the fear of loss although her love lost is what I wish I could have back the most.

Maybe, just maybe... I need to rethink my thoughts and reconsider how I choose to live! Or maybe just how I love, maybe!

Her love unlike, her love unique, her love cannot be duplicated nor found in anyone else! Her love is worth changing for! 

"A true and personally lived lesson in life, a lesson learned that only love can teach!"

I’m a fixer up
borderline condemned before
to livable now

I’m comfortable
working on final touches
what a difference

For all who gave up
on me and my past baggage
I cannot blame you

Your desire to quit
really spoke volumes to me
but it still hurts now

My heart, mind and soul
are no longer made from straw
nor are they from sticks

My remodeled life
has slowly, one by one been
constructed with bricks

TOUGH

Most love wrote in ink
   Our love wrote in graphite
                             THANK GOD

     True love wrote in blood  PERMANENT or
supposed to be

   Ink eventually will fade
Graphite easily can be erased
   Blood heartbreak vulnerable

After the last contract in blood, moving forward I’ll stick to GRAPHITE ! I’m just not comfortable with being vulnerable again.

Shattered glass
lay in pieces
upon the granite
A scarred reflection
erupted with anger
like a volcano
Both hands
covered in blood
Why wont
the voices quit
with the contradiction?
Why cant
you just be content
with who you are?

ops
1 poem multiple comments, READ ALL
author Robert Grove

Regret within
within regret
I remain
remain i
Guilty of
of guilty
Response
response
FLAWED



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2 COMMENTS
Comments
author Robert Grove
28 September 2021, 23:59
flawed
SoLd
sOlD
born
born
New patterns
The same
LAME .....
Nah
More
Like
Flawed


edit reply
author Robert Grove
29 September 2021, 00:00
dIfFeReNt
CHANGE

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Robert Grove
Comment

Love has no road signs, if only it did we may not get in so many love-wrecks

Regardless the red flags we may notice our emotions get in the way, hopeless

If only there were laws to protect us in the same way as we travel down loves path

Stop signs, yield, detour, speed limits all to defend us from falling prey

But that’s just not the case, so I only have myself to blame for my past accidents

My heart still exposed from our crash as it passed through my rib cage like an airbag

My love fax has 4 previous owners and 4 accidents, not so desirable

But hey I’m still running fine and In time hopefully the pain will fade

HOPEFULLY

🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊
🌊🌊🌊An ocean of🌊🌊🌊
🌊🌊CONTRADICTION 🌊🌊
🌊🌊amidst a mind🌊🌊🐠
🌊🌊🌊the size of a🌊🌊🌊
🌊🌊🌊FISH BOWL🌊🌊🌊
🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊

Life can be stressful
all we need to focus on
is survival mode

Words untold
appearances sold
Feelings felt
Insecurities dealt
Cold
bold
Late
hate
Delayed
gone
Right
wrong
COMMUNICATE
better
Love
lost
HEARTBREAK
One
big
MISTAKE
flaw

I'm not sure how to explain what it is that caused the pain. I know the past has caused damage to my developing brain, what is right and wrong may have been blurred. She opened eyes that were closed and SCREAMED ******* LOOK! For once I finally saw, for once I finally witnessed, for once I became what it is I hated! Since then she's been gone, since then I haven't quit regretting, for I know I'm the cause! Born to an environment that demands pain, raised in an environment that maintains the birth, with no recollection or memory of something that resembles love! It's the ******* TRUTH!

Imagine a place
where your face
looks confident
Amidst a space
where you’re safe
without any doubt
Where your voice
no longer screams
but instead sings
Away from fears
from past years
and insecurities
A world in which
you can switch
and forever ditch
your past flaws
No longer
feelings undesired
they are retired
your now
whole again
Dressed in
new attire
feeling proud
and rediscovered
uncovered from sin
Horns, thorns , torn
GONE
Right, wrong
left, right
up, down
don’t exist
Only one way
for you to go
to know
to show
No stress from
OPTIONS
CHOICES
DECISIONS
SUBCONSCIOUS
SHUT OFF
Just be yourself
ACCEPTED
APPLIED
NO VOCABULARY
NOR WORDS
ONLY FEELINGS
WITH PURE THOUGHTS
OF ENERGY
No turmoil
no regrets
JUST SUCCESS
FOR EVERYONE
All LOVE
No hate
Second guessing
GONE
Everyones mind
STRONG
MENTAL HEALTH
No need for
AWARENESS
there’s nothing wrong
PERFECT
Would a place
or space like this
exist I ask myself
WITHIN MY DREAM
If one bite could be
REVERSED
and WORDS that were
HEARD were honored
by the ones that were
SUPPOSED TO LISTEN
To a GOD versus a snake
that took ADVANTAGE of
US ALL , not just them
SO WE PAY FOR
DECISIONS
Of others
Why not
PUT US
IN THAT PREDICAMENT
and let us
DECIDE our fate
As I awake from my daydream
from a phone ringing
As it almost falls off my leg
I catch it and see
AN APPLE WITH A BITE
OUT OF IT
I-PHONE
Could it be
THE MARK OF THE BEAST
***-***-XXXX
We know they record us
WE KNOW THEY TRACK US
We know they market to us
BASED ON CONVERSATIONS
just like the snake
ALWAYS IN OUR EARS
wait maybe this isn’t a dream
BUT RATHER A NIGHTMARE

Imagine a place
where your face
looks confident
Amidst a space
where you’re safe
without any doubt
Where your voice
no longer screams
but instead sings
Away from fears
from past years
and insecurities
A world in which
you can switch
and forever ditch
your past flaws
No longer
feelings undesired
they are retired
your now
whole again
Dressed in
new attire
feeling proud
and rediscovered
uncovered from sin
Horns, thorns , torn
GONE
Right, wrong
left, right
up, down
don’t exist
Only one way
for you to go
to know
to show
No stress from
OPTIONS
CHOICES
DECISIONS
SUBCONSCIOUS
SHUT OFF
Just be yourself
ACCEPTED
APPLIED
NO VOCABULARY
NOR WORDS
ONLY FEELINGS
WITH PURE THOUGHTS
OF ENERGY
No turmoil
no regrets
JUST SUCCESS
FOR EVERYONE
All LOVE
No hate
Second guessing
GONE
Everyones mind
STRONG
MENTAL HEALTH
No need for
AWARENESS
there’s nothing wrong
PERFECT
Would a place
or space like this
exist I ask myself
WITHIN MY DREAM
If one bite could be
REVERSED
and WORDS that were
HEARD were honored
by the ones that were
SUPPOSED TO LISTEN
To a GOD versus a snake
that took ADVANTAGE of
US ALL , not just them
SO WE PAY FOR
DECISIONS
Of others
Why not
PUT US
IN THAT PREDICAMENT
and let us
DECIDE our fate
As I awake from my daydream
from a phone ringing
As it almost falls off my leg
I catch it and see
AN APPLE WITH A BITE
OUT OF IT
I-PHONE
Could it be
THE MARK OF THE BEAST
***-***-XXXX
We know they record us
WE KNOW THEY TRACK US
We know they market to us
BASED ON CONVERSATIONS
just like the snake
ALWAYS IN OUR EARS
wait maybe this isn’t a dream
BUT RATHER A NIGHTMARE

An impromptu date
well not exactly

Mutual friends call
we meet at their hands

Already acquaintances
from a work account

Periodic flirting
between the two of us

A nice night of dancing
amidst a couple tequila shots

All in fun, no hidden agendas
one thing led to the next

A convertible ride to
our friends place

Music, poetry and conversation
around a warm bonfire

The summer night
with a cool refreshing breeze

Concluded by
a romantic kiss

Next day came
we weren’t afraid

Nor shamed
we were both excited

Co workers whispered
as they spread rumors

We told them
it was ok

As we
laughed it off

We decided this calls
for a second date

We meet halfway
at a nice place

From our texts
we realize

She is desiring
some self-change

As she is battling
some things from her past

I shared my struggles
as well as my wins

She couldn’t believe
just how open I was

I told her
the most important thing

Is to
get it all out

Over lunch
she said to me

Today I’m going
to get a journal

I held back
a big smile

As I had her one
already in the car

As a gift
for when we left

Lunch ended
we walked to her car

I asked her to wait a minute
as I went to mine

Her face lit up
BIG SMILE

As she seen through
the window

I was carrying
a book for her

Titled on the outside
JOURNAL

We hugged
and shared a kiss

I told her
a message inside

A poem I wrote
titled “Yourself”

We went
our separate ways

As I headed out
she stayed put

I knew she was
reading the note

A minute later
she texted “ thank you “

This is the sweetest thing
anyone has ever done

I replied back
I support your growth

Regardless of what
we may or may not become

You deserve
to love yourself

BELOW THE POEM I WROTE IN HER JOURNAL I GAVE HER :

“YOURSELF”

Happiness introduces itself amidst faded darkness
You are reluctant to accept its invite with open arms
As you are scarred from others words of encouragement too
Who is to believe anymore you ask yourself in your mind
Promises of laughter, love and comfort are made
But you still feel discomfort in the vulnerability to believe
Questions of deserving these feelings reside in your mind
You want to accept you deserve to receive happiness but
It’s their actions that tell your subconscious to whisper  “No”
A constant battle within yourself, you struggle to deal with
Insecurities are not birthed internally but rather from others
Self inflicted pain from feelings of unworthiness your downfall
An emptiness that burns from within others planted doubt
But not that of your own and that’s the complete truth
Accept it as it’s always been your choice to choose to rejoice
You can trust your gut as it has never let you down this far
Happiness can be trusted when it’s self nurtured from within
So quit being afraid of decisions that you can make for yourself
Otherwise it’s not them you have to worry about but rather
YOURSELF

No longer bleeding
No longer breathing either
A lifeless victim

"When life outgrows you then you are dead, when you outgrow life then you keep quiet!"

 

​​​You don't want to be a target, that leads to death too!