Frozen memories are all that remains,
to soothe the aching of the heart.
All the words you said remain etched in my memory,
but I long to hear your voice.

You had your own reasons to leave,
and now, I can find none to live.
You gave an end to your never ending suffering,
I doubt you knew it would be the start of mine.

The questions, confusion and guilt,
they engulf and weigh me down.
But I pass each day,
Hoping, yearning and wishing,
to join in an embrace, my love.

I was forbidden from talking to you,
I was hated for loving you,
I was despised for being your sunshine.
But not once did my heart stop beating for you.

Hurt so much and cried much more,
but found comfort in knowing you were not at war.
But you hid from everyone your battles,
and gave in when you couldn't take it anymore.

What great a worry would have been on your mind,
that made you finally decide that death would be more kind.

Someone's words would have bought you solace,
or would it have made your mind more of a maze?

Maybe that maze would have led you home,
But you decided that you wanted to do it alone.

You let know no one inside that mind of yours,
thinking that no one would have the cures.

We should have seen the hints,
but you had prepared all the scripts.

Now, we sit here lost in thoughts,
trying to untie the knots,
seeking to realize the ought's.
Sorry, my friend.

Fallen autumn leaf,
Silent breath, the still earth sleeps—
Time's last whispered sigh.

You asked me if I had
     Written
a poem today?

No I said.  You could not
have known that you are

     my poem.

My metaphors have changed.
You took my sad attempt’
'
to make of my life

     a story someone might
read, even for a moment.
Tonight I can tell you

     You are the meter
which steers the thing
I call love.

An unusual poem, filled
with all the things you are.

So I will know you when
     finally
we are met
and One.  

Caroline Shank
December 17. 2024

For Kinik

You are my sunshine, my gentle light,
The warmth that holds me through the night.
When skies are heavy, and shadows fall,
Your voice, your smile, it breaks them all.

But clouds will gather, and time may fade,
The golden hues begin to shade.
Yet in my heart, you'll always stay,
My sunshine bright, my brightest day.

They call me villain, yet here I stand,
No bloodied blade, no cruel hand.
I see your pain, I hear your cries,
In every word, a truth disguised.

One day, perhaps, you'll wear this name,
And feel the burn, and know the shame.
For villains aren't born in shadow's hue—
They're just the broken parts of you.

You are the roots that hold me still,
The gentle strength, the iron will.
Through every tear and every fall,
You stood beside me through it all.

Your love, a light that guides my way,
A steady hand, come night or day.
No words could ever quite convey,
The love I feel for you today.

When I am dead, and doctors know not why,
And my friends’ curiosity
Will have me cut up to survey each part,—
When they shall find your picture in my heart,
You think a sudden damp of love
Will through all their senses move,
And work on them as me, and so prefer
Your ****** to the name of massacre.

Poor victories! But if you dare be brave,
And pleasure in your conquest have,
First **** th’ enormous giant, your Disdain,
And let th’ enchantress Honour next be slain,
And like a Goth and Vandal rise,
Deface records and histories
Of your own arts and triumphs over men,
And, without such advantage, **** me then.

For I could muster up as well as you
My giants, and my witches too,
Which are vast Constancy and Secretness;
But these I neither look for nor profess.
**** me as woman, let me die
As a mere man; do you but try
Your passive valour, and you shall find then,
Naked you have odds enough of any man.