i can hear a faint alarm in the distance
and a clapping at a wedding by a pool
the faded sound of the moment, fantastic
as airplanes carry humans kissing the night sky

you cannot obtain it
you've tried
you can't
your tears form new lines on your face
the wheels still spin
but you don't move forward
a shame
'so much potential'
words like knives on the tongue
'such a beautiful gift squandered '
some seconds of pity before moving on

what a price to pay
for a life
it chips away
and inward we go
the mental strain
splits infinity
breaks me

been standing by myself for so long
i cannot take it
and all my deepest dreams are all gone
forever and ever

i stood and waved
as i watched you fly
the stars collide
and stardust becomes glitter
you shine
and breathless
we all take a step back

so smile for me
to show me
your happy in your own skin
so smile for me
and i will see
your star shining so brightly
the only thing ill ever need
is your star shine smile for me
and all the rest comes in between
the love that you share with me

the right was fine
a slight light pinch
and then it was gone
the left has been stinging for hours
i won't sleep tonight
why do i do this?

I want the sun
and need the stars
but lets be honest
not the moon

its all in the delay
taut rope ends
beside a microphone
still, no one hears

motionless
hid in the shadows of arrogance
a life snapped into life on a whim
the past I found, intolerant

burier him deep
i once remembered but the fog has thickened lately
that memory blown to the sands of time
he had no mind for this anyways

but i remember that walk
it wasn't very long
a dicission was made
and a boy, lost

i feel a third perspective
rising from my core
does it bring, the glimmering
or bitterness, unbecoming
wake up at the very end
the race was lost so long ago
why does it seem, like no one cheers
victims to a higher calling
dissociate to shields the vitals
muting the screaming hordes
with it it brings, the bittering
a conscious effort to mask all things

the bumblebee stares
sometime i get high and it speaks to me
but it never has anything positive to say
badgering me to fold into myself
introspection can be valuable
but its value is subjective
it smiles with its eyes wide
taking in the room
ill go now, i'm nodding off
good night bumblebee
till tomorrows night

if you were to meet god
what would be your first question?
akin to when i was just a boy
i only cared to ask
what's your favorite color?

the sun is out today
a chill october tuesday
breath it in
and for a second i am still
for a second i'm a feather
breath it in
the world can disappears
calm
even in the darkness
the colors are as vibrant as i remember

the power to decide always lay with you
always

i wish i could have enjoyed the best day of my life
we drove a million miles to find
the smiles that kept us safe and sound
weren't where we left them

the further we drive together
the more i feel i'm driving away from you
the new devils revel in the anxiety forming
they know what's coming

and as much as id hate to admit it
so do i

bills pile up
accounts are dry
streets keep calling
tents, the new real estate

where are they
you know the ones
with smiles so tight it causes their face to crack
the pretty-evil
while others walk the razors edge
they've dulled it

I've created a story of perfect colors
but you seem to find the flaw, the cracks

you feel forced sometimes

don't come
stay here
negative tape on repeat
what do you want?
sit in it
the sunlight shines through
surrounding clouds thicken

i'm not afraid of you
i'm afraid of the truth you keep from me
truth can heal as much as it can destroy
and question everything
it shouldn't be so stressful
it shouldn't be so hard
there is no hiding

how do people have the patience to live their lives?
its hard to believe what i see on TV
as real
the world outside, a fake
where do they find the energy and time
to step out of their homes
and smell the roses

sometimes i catch myself in the mirror and stare
just.
stare.
i don't stare long
but its an uncomfortable amount of time
i look into my eyes
but nothing looks back
i look around my face
what you look at every day
the best presentation of myself
in physical form
this, auto pilot

picture yourself all alone
would you have the strength to ask for my help?
where's your life heading?
no one knows if you'll make it there
or ever make it back
look around
this isn't at all
where you wanted to be

this man is playing drums on youtube
RED HOT CHILLI PEPPERS - DANI CALIFORNIA
i'm transfixed
i'm watching a man play drums on youtube
190,000 views since it was uploaded
TODAY?!
this man is playing dumms
he's passionate
making a living
this man is playing drums on youtube
this man is the will never work a day in his life
this man is free

lightning strikes
without a sound
the energy surrounding me
much more than what's hidden in those clouds

our best days are gone
but their echoes still persist
long lost melodies
wrapped in thick layers of mist
as I gaze at my childhood ceiling
where my innocence used to reside
i realize
time moves on , no matter how hard we hide

i didn't cause these issues
they were always right there
before my time
i was just in the wrong place
when you decided to act on them

she speaks
ill keep her secret safe
it won't harm anyone until one day it does come out
it will be tragic but inevitable

for now, lips are sealed
a time capsule with no end date
the anticipation of a champagne cork taking flight
with a lot more tears

this permanent scar you've left on my hear
a reminder of mind playing games i've lost

why mock someone willing to try
is it fear to be surpassed
or hate the willingness to try
no one ever said it would be easy
they also never said it was impossible

wake up
its tuesday again
no i don't want to continue watching
i wont brush my teeth this morning

in dreams where fires ignite
twice the height, our souls take to the skies
boundless, where the randomness of stars align
unveiling deity's design

soar towards the fading light
twice the height, dreams ignite

the easy way, the hard way
the right. the wrong
the path of least resistance
are you in or are you out

there are always two roads

i couldn't find my phone today
i could have made its whereabouts known with a simple ring
but i left the house anyways
i've unintentionally disconnected

what a great day

keep your head up kid
you're late, but you made it anyways

I won't ask again
the night sky starts to blend into the daylight
the worlds on the mend
as sirens ring out their own conclusions

no one cares
as much as they try to lie about it

i wont ask again
are we humanity's greatest villian?
with eyes wide open we all lie while smiling
and pick at scabs that's started scarring

mostly kind spirited
spirals internally
what next stress will lead me down that unfamiliar path?

wake me when my time has come
i cannot breath anymore
to take my place
among the rest of the thorns

wake me when my time has come
i cannot bare this anymore
this life i've been dealt holds more pain
than has ever before

we are intelligent creatures
try and fail and try again
try and fail to fail again
fail and fail and fail again
again and again and again
eternal in our pursuit we try and try
and try till we succeed
we are intelligent creatures

life's intricate tapestry
where joy and sorrow entwine
there exists the most delicate of dichotomy's
where the lines between weddings and funerals blur
as our hearts dance on a thin thread of emotions

weddings and funerals
joys and sorrows
love blooms
tears follow

celebrated
remembered
life's essence
love amidst tragedy

i'm 35
and i don't matter
in a generation ill be forgotten
but my words on the screen will remain
at least until the domain payments stop
i'm 35
and i don't matter
in a generation ill be forgotten
we use to revere our elders, there knowledge
but now we have google so...
i'm 35
and i don't matter
in a generation ill be forgotten
we don't look at anyone anymore
Why waste the time, our best moments are online
tomorrow ill be 36
and i won't matter
it seems like its happened already
i'm 36 and i don't mater
i'm forgotten

we started young and aged together
twenty years blinked
now behind us
but you're much older
the weight of the world
of life and love
the scales cannot calculate
when grapes sour
sweet bitterness
when grapes sour
wine's overpowered

try to understand
witness the violence
the flow of memories break when the bombs go off
interruptions
forced to grow up quickly
understand where its coming from
its a big deal all the time
shocked and adjust to the changes
what are you looking for

death forgotten timeless trees
as winged spirits take their final fly
the trees still reach into the sky
still reach into the darkness of the infinite

high atop immortal pines
where birds go to die
in whispers, their songs fill the night
a sacred resting place, one last time

secrets hidden in the over growth
a single feather rest
never to take flight again
A realm unseen by mortal eye,
where birds go to die

whispers bread secrets
unveiling souls' depths
light still exists in the darkest of corners
connecting life's breath

whispers divulge clandestine lore
unveiling depths we can't ignore
amidst shadows, they softly glide
weaving tales where secrets hide

even lottery winnings run out sooner or later

we watched another sunrise from the shoreline
with whispers

i watched you burn
pathetic fool when will you learn
this life isn't catered just for you
isn't that a shame

open the front door to your freedoms
a step away but always out of reach
you were only meant to believe you could grasp at nothing
and produce something of yourself

will you look ahead and move forward
or stand still and watch it all just pass you by
your greatest fear
is what your future may hold for you
but don't you worry
in time everything falls into place
so hold your head up high
you're late but you made it anyways