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m Nov 2020
wash my hands
wear my mask
eyes down
keep away

canceled parties
postponed weddings
crushed dreams
lost memories

lock the door
draw the blinds
netflix, are you still watching?
yes, stop asking

January first
a brand new day
who are we kidding
its only the beginning
m Oct 2020
i was too young to care
i'm old enough now to never forget
i miss you
m Nov 2020
i was a ghost back then
not by choice
i drifted with the shadows
they kept me safe and sane

looking back
i don't know how i did it
i don't know if i could do it again
i don't know if i could continue

when i left i decided to not be me
i haven't been me since
the shadows still follow
just in case
m Oct 2020
i'm afraid to admit
i've become addicted to the pain
try shattering this mundane routine
that i've become too afraid to change
m Nov 2020
and just like that
you stole my heart
like a thief in the shadows
a daring daylight capper

but you didn't steal it for love
when we ended you left me with nothing
not even a sliver to share with someone else
just a cavern never to be filled again

and just like that
you stole my heart
you made it so
id never love again
m Oct 2020
nice guys finish last
its the polite thing to do
.i'm not sure this is totally original but i heard someone say "nice guys finish last" today and the second line was what popped into my head
m Aug 2021
a generation lived
a generation remembered
a generation all but forgotten
a generation of photo-less family tree entries
m Oct 2020
show me
show me you're wonderful
we've argued till our vocals fry
but haven't moved forward

i picture your immaculate
radiating power
a sight to behold and hold forever
but my minds eye lies to me

i wish
i wish i could yell at you
to tear it off the bone
but it would be too polite

we use to play
but now i'm stalked as pray
and with every hopeful vibe
the pressure rises

you'll tear me down again
as you'll grin through your modesty
i find myself loosing every hand
i've lost what i've never had
m Oct 2020
when we're young
we look up
and find idols
they shape us
the lift us up
inspire us
anything is possible

but there comes a time
when we realize the fragileness of life
a family member, a friend
a distant life ends
and then one day
all our heroes die
and we morn them as a friend

(cheers to the ones who master chess while we learn to play checkers)
m Jan 2021
i'd say goodbye
but you've closed the door
i'm only in your pictures now
a wilted flower kept to remember
all (good) things (come to an) end
m Oct 2020
i can't believe
you confused my caring tenderness
with selfish lies
m Oct 2020
this world is never what it seems
even for fucken drama queens
who live their lives like storybooks
but in the end they always look
the other side so welcoming
tricked into giving up their dreams
and all they'll have to sells their soul
can keep their minds its full of holes
m Jan 2021
i've become something new
brace yourselves
its a new day floating in space
feel the sunlight
m Oct 2020
another tuesday
our reality to bend and fold
some bend to dead ends  
we learn to live with it
m Oct 2020
a memory flooded back to me today
it was nice
like chicken soup on a chilly day

you know the one

its been fifteen years since we last spoke
our paths just
a shame

was it a shame?

it seems to me our one way street forked at some point
i went left while you, stood, still
you wanted to follow, you told me as much
how long did you stand there?

are you still standing there?

neither of us have much presence online
no way to peak into each others lives
to slide in, to say hello
it must have been for the best

was it?

one day we should meet again
remember the old times
catch up on the the new
as familiar strangers

one day
i wonder how long it will be
m Jan 2021
there it is
that shine
a sign it will be a great day
fingers crossed
m Nov 2020
i've taken pictures all my life
a stolen moment in time
we reminisce about those days
when everything just felt right

i've taken pictures all my life
i've taken one today
i wonder how this one will be remembered
some moments are meant to be forgotten
m Oct 2020
the skeletons in my closet laugh at me
they've been there for years
to say they know all my secrets is an understatement
they can destroy me

i can keep them quiet
i've build so many rooms in my mind
some don't even know of the others exist
its a real mess

but sometimes, i visit
to see them makes them real
makes me remember that gut-wrenching
the days of tears that follow

they are my sentence and my salvation
they are the blood in my veins
the thoughts in my mind
they are who i am and who i'll continue to become
m Oct 2020
watch them all decay
structured endless shame
it grabs a hold and you cant get away

pretend you have it made
let go of the shame you put up every day
to mask the pain

to better fit you disguise your true life
it seems you're not quite real
and dead inside

you'll never be the same
hold my hand to save yourself
your not quite well, always betrayed

now i see that this place hates despite all my beliefs
even if they're few and far between
existence for me means i'm the one that choses when
pull the trigger, a trigger to an end

my world decides to bend and i will never know if i will ever find myself
its not yet time, but please don't take too long
know that this place has nothing for us
life goes on
life goes on
m Oct 2020
i fall asleep every night in my chair
go upstairs
another puff
ill rest here awhile
m Oct 2020
as the day comes to an end
i never feel more at peace
than the moment right before i fall asleep
to never wake up would be the greatest release
m Jan 2021
you know what keeps me up at night
and what it takes to fall asleep
it angers you
i'm in control
i don't need your help
you hardly offer it these days
you still claim to be on my side
but tomorrow ill wake up to an empty home
as lullabies drift away
m Oct 2020
this all seems familiar
your broken record replays in my mind
as hard as i attempt to turn you off
you keep your light on inside

i see you crawl, take the same fall
as you admit that i'm always wrong
remain my muse, for all my tunes
i thank you for breaking my heart
m Nov 2020
i'm about to combine my hobby, passion and career into one
the job that keeps food on my table
my kids table
i'm horrified
m Oct 2020
id much rather drown you out with silence
than engage in a yelling battle i would surely lose
m Nov 2020
you will always stay with me
from the swings in mood you could never understand
to the depths of the deepest darkness
the heights of joy
the playful smiles
you were the light that never went out
until it did
m Oct 2020
you still pick at the scabs the blade has made
pencil in your though on your face
i can still feel you underneath my skin
you're lost and scared to let me in

you've abandoned all your beliefs
the relief you felt when you go to sleep
within your mind you cannot find
the point of sanity has gone blind

and all the rest just lay in bed
when you leave this place these walls will rest
oh be grateful
your time is all but spent
m Oct 2020
if you want customer service and a fake smile
go to mcdonalds
m Oct 2020
you're eyes saw a world your mind could understand
while other ignored
you adored

the odd, the very strange
point, shoot

last supper

did you know how important you were?
do you know how important you are?
m Dec 2020
i dream
from it i've drawn a shapeless being
colored outside the lines
i did not give it a mouth to speak
but i see its monsters grin

its stood in the backways
it though me how to lie
convinced me loneliness would be my only comfort
i listened
i feel fine
m Oct 2020
i'm worth it more in pieces than i ever was when i was one
a poor excuse for a human being
m Nov 2020
i was always told that god would be there for me
god is there if i need change
god will never turn his back on me
god may be taking the year off
m Oct 2020
i try but you fade away
my brother my sister
all forgotten to my now
you are all somewhere in my thoughts
deep down inside my heart
soon you will all disappear
but still here
to love you
m Oct 2020
so this is hate
this is what i've become because of you
provocative entertainment
feeds the mouths that never close
enters minds
severs connections
decisions made based on lies fed
spewing out younger ******
enough to feed all your intentions
m Oct 2020
the crowd parts to make way
the king waves and smiles
m Oct 2020
i feel fine now
just, fine
and that's alright
life, designed to bring me down
i've designed
but im alright
m Oct 2020
i find myself alone today
i can plan my day how i see fit
a rarity these days
but i wont get anything accomplished

i'll just float downstream
the slow current takes me to where i need to be
nothing planned in advance
i'll end up where i'm needed

but today its not a stream
but a calming peaceful lake
i'm alone here too
ill float in place

i guess no one need me
m Oct 2020
in motion, ideas always look good at first hand
in practice, decisions made are all written in sand
m Jan 2021
the road turns slightly up ahead
then forks
i've taken the wrong path many times before
i've convinced myself over the years
that there is no "right" way
just my way
no matter how wrong that way is
m Oct 2020
its hopeless
i've had enough
the masses have passed me by and knocked me out
left alone, is there any way to heal this smile
lost the facts
the meanings
front and back between the lines i've read
that i am and that i am nothing
with no hands to hold
and no place to lay my head
m Oct 2020
i don't know who pushed me in
i don't know where to begin
i've been silent till this day
and there's so much i have to say

but its time to fade away
m Nov 2020
i can't hold you anymore
the smoke has cleared but the damage remains
if i broke both my hands
id still reach out for you
but i fear in this moment
id be grasping the air
m Nov 2020
good morning
skipping breakfast
and start the day
push till lunch
skipping lunch
grind till dinner
ill have dinner
end the day
half hour till liftoff
the best and saddest part of the day
m Jan 2021
happy new year
and with it all its promises
to be broken
m Oct 2020
since when is it original
to wear the hatepaste on your face
delusions of a life full of waste
m Oct 2020
hello hannah
a reminder that these dogs of war won't sleep
we wont see eye to eye on this
i get it
why bother blinking when you're know ill be right there at the end of it

hello hannah
we were good once
those days filed with smiles
neglected, forgotten, cast aside
so easy, too easy

hello hannah
till we meet again
ill be right here
m Oct 2020
this is not a pome
this is not some randomness
this is not meant to be seen
but i have to put it somewhere

public private
its all the same to me
this is not meant to be seen
but i want to put it somewhere

i've been scribbling more and more
a **** that's overflowed
this is not meant to be seen
but i need to put it somewhere

the stars, each an idea
a lesson to be learned
this is not meant to be seen
but at least i put it somewhere

hello poetry
m Jan 2021
it isn't a race
but it is a competition
m Nov 2020
look at me
look me in they eyes
i am not your savior
you've confused our friendship
for something much more than what i can provide
and for that
i am truly sorry
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