i wish i could be
a bit more like you
because being me
is simply too blue
i followed your steps
went where you did
still could not prep
to reach where you did
you've been that star
i've witnessed from afar
and all i have been
is an ugly scar
you don't even think
or will ever blink
in my direction
and today
this thought
makes my heart sink
i  don't know what it is
the guilt, the regret?
or simply a chance i'll miss
because my demons won't let
or ever set
me free
and in this ocean of me
i'll drown
going way down

-to the muse who'll never know that i wrote this for him

*** and coke kisses
keep me from remembering
handshakes in the dark

sips, swigs and swallows
even in moderation
become indulgence

time slowly sobers
but passion intoxicates.
still, bottles run dry

- p. winter