rays steady shine
& radiate into my bedroom
earlier than usual this season
they say the warm season is one
of new life, nourishment, flourishing
but summer is even more sad

the summer reminds me of the feelings
that will not change even with the seasons
at least the winter mirrored the way
i feel inside
the irony is uncanny
i say i hate winter
but im beginning to think it is my favorite season
because i relate to winter

i dont relate to sunshine

I want to explore
I want to be lost
I want to run
To Feel my heart, beat,
Pounding in my chest
To live without regret
To be happy
That is what I desire

Gentle soft uncoordinated lips
Through all seasons
You call upon me
To be kind sweet and mean
When I am gone
Will you still call for me
Or will you share all of you
To someone new
And call on her

I’ll be there when you call
I’ll be there if you fall
In you I’ve found my future
I’ll be there
I’ll be there

I will watch while you sleep
I will hold you when you weep
My eternal love won't fail you
I'll be there
I'll be there
                      ljm

TORTURED SUNLIGHT

Only remembering things that have not yet happened

I nail the dream of you
to the back of my mind

until the memory of you
bleeds & bleeds &

pleads with me
to un-dream you.

Your kiss is a shadow
tortured with sunlight.

Your touch is a page torn out & thrown away.

Your absence is a hate
I create & re-create

to torment a mind

that only remembers things that can never happen.

~
Learning to patch. Learning to mend.
Learning to venture. Learning to comprehend.
Learning to capture and befriend.

Inventing the berry. Inventing the cream.
Inventing sweet slices before bedtime
and the Fragaria colored dream.

Loving new life. Loving each child.
Securing the stem and raising the vine
by loving the wife.
~