I’ve been sitting here for hours. Just staring at this blank piece of paper, without having the slightest clue, what I should write on it. It has never been an issue for me to figure out something to write, I’m amazing pretending and making stuff up that will sound great. But when it’s about you… somehow I freeze. I don’t know how I ended up here - I’m usually not the type to fall in love, but I did. I have no idea what love is, nor how it works. Why do I feel like this? For the longest time I thought, I had reached a state of complete happiness. I lived without commitments, only having to fulfill my physical needs. Never worrying about any sort of emotional attachment. I was happy and confident, but I didn’t realize that something important was missing. I’ve only felt it once before, or at least I thought at that moment of my life, that I felt it. I’ve been broken before, so I made a promise to never get this kind of spiritual and emotional connection, ever again. I went for the longest period of time believing that every emotion of mine was gone. Until you came around. It may not have been the best or the most romantic way we met, but the first time you pulled me tight and kissed me I felt a rush through my whole body and I didn’t want to let go. If I could I would have stayed in that moment forever. Your lips against mine, with your arm holding tight around my waist. I would’ve stopped time in that exact moment.
Whenever anyone asks me if I like you I don’t know what to answer. Not because I don’t know. I just have a fear of being used or hurt again, therefore I have a hard time admitting to possible feelings. But even though I know I will never get the courage to tell you this, I must let it out…
I love you, so deeply. Even though I know our love can never be -