Have you ever had the experience
A coincidence becomes dissectable
And every nuance  and subtle twist
Can be seen for the impossibly relatable
Series of razor thin events connected
By the most tenuous reality imaginable.

So there l was ... sitting  on a bench
In the very mall I practically lived in
Back when I was a kid of the eighties
"20 years since I had even ....drivin
   The cracked and humbled asphalt  parking lot  

College called  - I answered  
Job  offer - ouldn't refuse
First wife walked-while I strayed
Second paid me back my earned dues
Third passed my name on into tomorrow
And the next ones due - Doc says is two

Mom called ....had cracked her vision
Time to readjust her optic imbalance
So here at the mall her optometrist  catered
While I kept tripping on that crazy window display

Why was it so familiar
I knew I knew  
But had not a clue
Where why or how that motorized
Chunk of plastic oscillating there ...like...like....?

Next morn it was back to the routine
Of a now eight year old commute
25miles on the turnpike then 3 mile of side street
To the .....o.m.g.  It was sarge  at the mall
It was sarge that musta always waved ...... it was sarge
   That what I nicknamed him
Funny how you can miss something
And not know that it was gone
Until that moment of clarity
When suddenly it will dawn... upon...you
That you should have noticed a week ago.

There had been a time when the routine route
Had just become a part of my future
And he stood there waving like a mad king
In that small patch of green behind the chain link
Beneath the curving memosa limb
Leaning on the triangle leg of a kids swing
Comical the first week anoying me the next
But every day rain or shine he was there
Smiling as he waved --enthusiasm portrayed
On the round cherubic ageless down --syndrome face
Infectious as a yawn everyday his hand waggling
Back and forth, back and forth until a week ago
When he was gone. Just a worn down spot in the grass
So.... Today I shall make commuter history. By pulling over
I parked among the honking horns .the shaking fists
And walked along the lawn through the gate and to the door
When a lady laced with smells of cinnamon rolls and coffee
Opened the door and began to cry when I told her why
His name was Harold he prefered Harry 52 just 3 weeks ago
And thats as old as he will ever get. We had coffee and a roll
As she told me of his life and times and I said his waving
And his smile would be missed. By more than just me I did insist

That day I didn't go on to work I set off for the mall
Where I entered into that novelty gift store
Then I left with a package that contained some yellow plastic
A motor and a battery and I had splurged on a solar panel
Then I parked again where earlier I had been
On silent steps and unspeakable joy I mounted what I carried
To the leg of the swing directly in line with the worn down grass
Then I turned it on and watched that yellow hand wave
Waggling to beat the band just like Harry did .
When I knocked she answered with puffy eyes you can't disguise
So I wasn't sure as I pointed toward my tribute -manic and gaudy
I felt as though I had crossed a line till then I had denied
But then Harrys mother looked real close . then busted out laughing  till once again tears filled up and ran from her eyes
It  aint the same , nothing replaces but I see smiles each morning
As his audience of jaded commuters replace the driving faces
With entheusiastic smiles that lightens up the commuters  route
And all those endless miles.

I lived a large
part of my youth
carrying things
that didn’t
belong to me
Indeed I’ve carried
their loads for
too **** long
The load of how
they felt about me
the load of what
they’ve said about me
the load of how
They’ve perceived me
for far too long
These load was never
mine to carry
to begin with
Today I am free
free at last
from criticism
fears , insecurities
and other people’s
opinion
These loads
are no longer mine
to carry
Regardless
how desperate
and foolish
they may seem