I feel like I've held my breath my whole life whilst waiting for you to arrive.

The velvet smoothness of your voice, dancing into my ears and setting fireworks off inside my whole body,


The moment we had our first conversation I knew.

I knew as much as I do now, for you are just you and I am just me.

Nothing is planned to make this a us or we.

But I know my soul aches for you, my heart hasn't beat the same since that moment we talked.

As I lay in bed hopelessly waiting by the phone, longing for you to reach out.. Somehow I know one day you will be tucked up right beside me. To grow old.. To hold forevermore and to never face a day alone again.


How I wish I could fast forward to your arms, to smell the sweet smell of the nook of your next. For now.

I will wait


Because I've waited my whole life so far not breathing. Now filled with breath I can wait a liitle more

I woke to the news you died,
Your face I won't see when walking down the street. I won't stop and pass the time of day with you again.

I see your loved ones envolped with grief and a sadness fills my soul.

Your passing made me see life is preciously fragile.
You didn't plan to die, you didn't want to go.

You made a difference by dying but I'm not sure you will ever know.

I promise in your memory I'll hug my babies more. I'll treasure every second and live my moments more.

I don't wake up and dread the challenges of the day. I'll enjoy the testing moments and thank God I'm here to stay.


I'll think of you often. I'll whisper your name in my head. Even though I still can't believe you are actually really dead.

How has it come to this?

Once upon a time, we got our happily ever after.

We were best friends,

And now...

..

You are a stranger.
I don't know what became of the person who I told all my secrets too,
I don't know where you've gone...


How I long to have you back, even just for one day,
to laugh as we once did.

Yet here we are..

fighting over money, houses and cars.
loosing our way because our love turned to hate.

can't we go back to being just friends? we shared so much the loss is so great.

We move on and apart yet our love lives on in the children we made together, they ask me why..

And at night, when I'm alone I still cry.. for all that we were, and all that we had. for all the good, bad and sometimes ugly..

we had love....

But now it's gone

Does he love me?

Only if love is...

A self obssesed one sideded misery,
All take, no give
All consuming doubt, worry and.... insecurities

If you need to ask, then the answer is No.