Becca

Becca Oct 2018

I think I take you for granted
Can't stop complaining
Wish I could shut my mouth

How do you keep coming back
I would just leave
I'm not worth it I promise

I won't live long anyways
I can feel it down to my bones
Just go already

Let me suffer in my head
You don't have too
Live better than me

Becca Sep 2018

Distant

I feel distant from you tonight
Why can't you see that
Why didn't you fight
I needed your attention
Instead you fell asleep
That kills me inside is what I forgot to mention
When I need you the most
You close your eyes
Goodnight Austin
I think I'll close mine now too

Becca Sep 2018

Does he know

Does he know how strongly I feel about him
That I would cut away at my entire body if that meant he could go on even without me
I couldn't possibly live in a world in which he stopped breathing
I mean that with no exaggeration
My last life lives through him
I must be the one to go first
Even if that meant I had to give away every part of me to keep him breathing
I ache to hear that snore
I crave to listen to his heart beat
His warm skin
To see every perfect detail of his face
I live for it all

Becca Aug 2018

Untitled

I dont wanna cry for help
Calling it depression is too cliche
Everyone's doing it
But I refuse to use it
He gets frustrated when I dont give an answer
I don't even know the answer
Its eating me from the inside out
Nothing in particular
But enough to break me

Becca Jul 2018

Untitled

What if one day it's you
What if even saying or typing those words make it more likely to happen
What should I do

They say live like it's your last
So how can I think of anything else
Because of what's in my past

I try to cherish every moment
But at some point I have to stop and cherish another person
What if that's when you'll be chosen

I can't stop it from coming
Please. Help.
I hope I'm gone before your Angel's start humming

Becca Jun 2018

Inevitable

You lay there sleeping as I listen to your heart beat
I want to give you the world
But mine is shattering beneath me
How do I explain it
You'll never understand what I'm saying
But my heart has taken many, many hits
I weep when I'm alone
No one I can rely on very long
Slowly.. I'm turning to stone
I blame you for everything
Tell you to take responsibility
But I'm really talking to my own insecurities
What if you die?
I'd **** myself
One more tug and I'll start to fly
The inevitable runs my life.

#death #anxiety #sad #secret #dark #worries

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