i find myself content within torment,
i feel bright when i'm blue.
i'm not broken, just bent,
and without wanting to,
that's something i resent.

oh my god,
this group message from 2008
between my now girlfriend,
the other girl that was very interested me at the time (the first to wear my sweatshirts- the one i thought more likely at the time),
and many others i already begin to forget.
  
i know now,
more than ever
that i really am going to die
someday.

For every tear you shed for me
For every tear I'm shedding for you

this is the end of something
that never existed.

I have never seen you
I was too close to you to do it
I saw what I needed to see
Now I see
You're no longer in my heart
now it is empty
And this is sad

Hole
You left a black hole in my heart
it is ******* my self
each bowel inside me
every part of my mind

I live in my horse's saddle: a beast, piteous.
Maidens sing forlorn as we pass.
The children do not see the chopper
at the roundabout.
Soon, their shorn locks will match the minstrel's sins of old.
Castles burn in the day: robbers ride boats on land.
Mascots fade against tapestries, hung out.

It's wonderful to sing out, revolt in time.
The sleepers don't hear the bees, save the woodsman.
Trees whisper secrets of the woods upon the wind.
Rows and rows of spears and woven flocks, poor things.
Descendants of cold metal.
They will come.
Too soon.

Bluebells and daisies flattened in an hour, green to brown.
Leather worn and sweat of ten rides polish the future.
Cut to make ribbons of blue for lasses unborn, the sky.
Bring to rise
new rivers of strange color, coppery seeping to earth.