For we never question the beauty of the sun during its rise, as my love for you shall never waver when I wake.

I am on a floating vessel and I'm drowning
In a sea of far too loud cries with horn disguises
Begging for an audience to listen to their bravado chest pumped up sililoques
This is the too loud neighbor
The wishing well spell of more wishes falling in an echo chamber
Now is too much and forever enough
We will bend the fabrics of history
Gladly begging our children to swallow our smog
And praise us for our ignorance
One day giving us the proper burial ground in carbon laced clouds
Knowing we were just too much

---
you just showed up
unexpected,
just like the snow
started falling this morning
maybe with a tiny bit of
fear mixed emotions
but still with
that magical
thing you have
all over you.
that magical  
thing that makes
my heart beat
as fast as
hundreds of horse feet
on the race track,
and my hands
shake like
trembling leaves
having not the tiniest
chance, to stick to the tree
on a stormy day.

but,
just like the snow,
always
somehow, some day
melting
you
just
disappeared.

and wishing for
you to forever stay
is like
wishing
for snow
never melting.

As the volume settles in this confined cube of a classroom
I lay one sheet of paper on each desk
I tell my students to prepare them for a test
I tell myself they don't need another test
I do it anyway

Now I want you each to answer with precision
Give me your mind and stave the heart for now
Allow your finger tips to work in ways they have not been taught yet
Do this correct
The way they are going to expect

In the top right corner please write your:
Name
Date
Eating disorder
Depression
ADHD
Food insecurity
Anxiety
Family issues
Lack of sleep

Now leave them there and focus
There is no room for those here
Not in a classroom
And not in a test like this
Human does not belong right now

This test determines too much
To show that you are not enough

So good luck on this test
When you are finished
Sign with your everything
And hope for the best

This is just a boring sadness;
a low-lying, flat sort of sadness,
just a grey sea on a drizzly day.
There’s nothing major going on here,
nothing monumental, nothing tragic.
It’s all just a bit blue round the edges.

This isn’t an explosive sadness,
it isn’t a torrent and it isn’t rock bottom.
It’s just a boring sadness that hums steadily
and it’s fine, really. It’s fine.

It’s just a sort of storm globe sadness,
willing to become tempestuous when shaken.
The waves rush, lightening darts, thunder bellows,
but it all happens behind glass.
And it’s fine, really, because it settles itself quickly.
The sea goes flat again and it’s fine.

It’s just a monotonous sadness,
the sort that makes life dull and hopeless.
It keeps you in your bedroom
and it ticks off the years and still,
you’re in the bedroom,
yet to have your first kiss,
your first heart break,
your first night out,
your first airplane ride,
your first concert,
your first car,
but it’s fine, because it’s a sadness
that comes down like a fall
of paper snowflakes and it’s fine.
It’s all fine.

It’s just a boring sort of sadness,
so you watch other people’s misery instead
and you wish you could spare them the pain.
You become a twisted sort of sadness covet,
a sadness thief, stealing sadness that isn’t boring,
stealing sadness that seems worse than your own
And it hurts you and makes you feel worthless,
all these bungled attempts to rob sadness
but it’s fine, really. At the end of the day, you’re fine.
It’s just another bit of boring sadness and you are fine.