the game is my brain laid out on a board
it's inside a mind trap, I serve a lord
to win I must stay alive, perhaps take a slug
my chess piece is harmless, it's only a drug

the game is neither fair or logical or right
nor for the weak of heart who play with the night
it lures with seduction, it breaks me apart
see all that is ugly inside my heart

I take adventures, make gains and take loss
tempting duality, I pay the cost
I find failures in you and I wager in strife
I **** others off with my powder and knife

I need you to pretend and pretend some more
until lies and denial become the plays of our board
the game holds everything that my desire can taunt
I can win by surviving and live wishing, in want

the game has no mercy, no rhythm, no rhyme
it pulls me to pieces one move at a time
there is no magic saviour, no doorway out
to get through the madness, I must lay rest the doubt

my mind is hijacked but I think I'm in play
I deny all who love me along the way
a roll of the dice will bring me the rush
live for the danger of a royal straight flush

one card of dopamine so honest and blue
will trump judgement and reason for all that is true
I don't understand it, as I unwind and undo
send me to jail and hope I break through

this brilliant mind plays the game but it is no good
it uses intelligence to lock up the hood
the smarter I am, the less likely to win
the mind will destroy itself, and keep me locked in

roll the dice, pick a card, fight to get home
i'm playing the game but I'm left all alone
move forward, move over and play to surrender
grieve without end for the very next ******

mourn in the knowing there's nothing to do
can't reach me, can't help me, can't make my next move
set another mind trap with blame and demise
the shame, it is blinding my wide open eyes

impulsive decisions make away with the haste
****** with the drugs that allow me to taste
sickness covert, relentless and hidden
the horse in the shadows is the one I have ridden

can I find beauty in the toughest of places
surrender the board in all of life's spaces
maybe I will, and maybe I won't
I'm searching for love without all the don'ts

in repeat patterns, I look for reprieve
make sense of the wisdom in the turning of leaves
ask questions of games that are played in my brain
answers only lead to more questions again

here in the airwaves, crossed the sacred path
the reason for living escaped in the draft
smoke up the joint, keep hidden the flask
let go of the game, find freedom at last