I think I’ve forgotten how to fall asleep not sobbing into a pillow. Thinking of all the things I’ve done wrong. I haven’t done anything wrong I am just destined for pain. Sometimes I believe that I have a purpose in life and that’s why I’m still here. I’m beginning to believe that my purpose in life is to be used and thrown aside. My life is not meant to change the world but to be punching bag for the world. Who could love someone like me? No one. That’s my purpose in life to show others they deserve better. I’m a reference point to there happy ever after. And maybe I’m here to die a victum of society to teach others not to be terrible people. Maybe if I just jump I’ll be a martyr for humanity.

Sunshine helps. Sunshine helps on the days I lay around sinking deeper into my depression. The room always seems to be dark on those days. Sunshine helps. It may be a romantic point of view but I find nature soothing. The smell of rain never ceases to make me smile. Sunshine helps. It reminds me of me before depression. Back at camp. Making music. Making friends. I used to smile so much. Sunshine helps. I don’t smile anymore. Not like I used to. It’s more painful to do so now. Sunshine helps. I like to take the longest paths when I’m outside. I like the wind against my face. I like wandering aimlessly. It helps clear my head. Sunshine helps. Some where along the way I started associating you with sunshine. Maybe it was the light in your eyes. Maybe it was your warm smile. But since I’ve met you I’ve realized that things are going to be okay. Sunshine helps and you help me step into the sun.

All of them.

I told myself  I should take some time to figure myself out

What I don’t really understand is that I thought that meant without you

Darkness.
All I remember is that it’s dark outside, and she’s laying next to me saying she loves me.
And that’s all I need.

Light pours though a filtering curtain
All I remember is waking up by her side,
And that’s all I need.