I moved into our new apartment building
and for two weeks
every time I heard someone in the hallway outside our front door
I imagined it was you
coming home to me

for two weeks
I had every light in our place on
all the time
to let myself pretend
this home was occupied
and wished
I had someone
to argue over
the electric bill
with

for two weeks
I went to the beach
and sat alone
stared out into the ocean
for hours
until the sun burned my skin
and the sand found it's way
into my eyes
here
I allowed myself
to think for a moment
that you are only miles
away from me
just out of my reach
but safe
nonetheless

for two weeks
I looked out the bedroom window
and the kitchen window
and the living room window
all the windows I could find
searching for your car
your face
you

in two weeks we came so close
to seeing each other
and yet
we're still so far apart

for two weeks I checked my phone
two hundred times a day
I sent you texts
I knew you would not answer
or receive
and called to tell your voicemail
goodnight

for two weeks I fought back tears
in grocery stores
as I bought entirely too much food
for just one person
but I filled up the cart anyway
because what if you come home?
the milk went sour
and the bread ran dry
and I took out four bags of trash
by myself

in two weeks
I transformed a house into a home
without you
I hung decorations you have never seen
in a place you have never been
I bought furniture
without asking your opinion
on the tan sofa
or the gray one
I had to make these decisions
without you
I put together our dinner table
and ate at it alone
I found
this home feels one hundred times
more empty
with all these furnishings
that are meant to accommodate
several people
and yet
here I am
alone

for two weeks
for two months
I've waited
and god
please let it be over soon

Take a walk with me
through my dreams
I’ll show you a love
you’ve never seen.

A heart that will love you
more than you know
a heart given to you
a very long time ago.

Someone who sees you
for all that you are
someone who wished
for you, upon a star.

A heart that will give you
everything I am
a heart willing to walk with you
through an unknown land.

Someone who sees you
for all that you are
someone who will stay
by your side, and kiss every scar.

Take a walk with me
come follow my dreams
I’ll show you my love
what my love really means.

lay me on your tongue like acid tabs
light me like a **** or dab
breathe me in like *** smoke
snort me up like lines of coke
taste me like a ******
shoot me up like ******
sip me like spiked tea
trip on me like lsd
use me
continuously  
like your drug of choice
and i will make you feel
otherworldly

s.s