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October was all of the moments that exist in the space between the best and the worst of life.
An absolute hurricane of the highest highs and the lowest lows,
leaving no emotion left unfelt.
I was overwhelmed with love and gratitude
and relapsed on grief and disappointment -
and it was     everything     I needed it to be.
Life is just as    ruthless
and just as     wonderful
as they say.
I got married to the love of my life on October 12, 2024, and I lost my grandmother, my heart and soul, one week later. I am simply just an apple pie of everything that made her so sweet and I only wish I had more time to love her.
queen of hearts Nov 2021
I don't know what's more difficult:
watching you leave
or knowing that I told you to
queen of hearts Nov 2021
It’s everything
and it’s nothing.
I don’t know whether to crumple it up and throw it away
or hold onto it until it gains some value.
I have come so far
making no progress at all.
queen of hearts Nov 2021
my heart is a museum of you
and everyone here knows it
queen of hearts Nov 2021
There’s always more to give,
I swear I always find it.
Wanna leave you alone
but I can never just “never mind” it.

Too much hope.
Too much love.
I give far too much of me.
Build you a home inside my eyes,
I’ll let you live there rent-free.

Take my hope.
Take my love.
I’ll surrender to it all.
Hang me by your string;
let me go.
Watch me fall.
queen of hearts Nov 2021
they always want to love Someone Like Me
they list all the qualities I've already introduced to them
and beg the universe to deliver what's already arrived

they look for me in everyone
and come back and taunt me
every time they think they've come close

but they never do

and they always wait till I'm okay
till I forget how much I would've loved to be loved
and convince me to remember moments
in the way they've rewritten them

the least they could do is leave me alone
but they just never do

and I know that someday,
I'll be somebody's "someone like me"
but I only wish I could just lose all hope
cause each one hurts a little more

but I just never do.
queen of hearts Nov 2021
.
I can write when I'm happy
I swear.
I don’t need my demons around to let the words fall out,
but a little disappointment always helps.

So I guess
that’s all I keep you around for.
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