Suicide is a crazy thing
Because once it’s in your mind it just continues to ring
No matter how long you ignore it for, or however long you look out the window for
He is just standing there, patiently waiting for you to open the door
It could be months, **** it can be years, he will always be there however long you ignore
Suicide has been knocking at my door for some time now, though it doesn’t seem that he is getting impatient
I’m sure it's because sooner or later he knows I will have to open the doors and let him in
Sometimes I open my window and have a talk with him
Talk to him about my day, about my struggles
He never responds though, just smiles back
I have to fight the urge every hour of my life just to simply not give in
It's getting harder day by day to keep that door closed
I’m sure it would be hard for anyone to keep away their only friend

last night
i came home late
to my mother yelling

i tried to reason
to no avail
she didn't believe any of my words

her hand on my arm
her voice high and loud
she tried to push me inside
she wouldn't listen

tired and angry
i walked away
she followed

then i ran
and ran
and ran
and ran

till i could no longer hear the flopping
of her shoes
behind me.

i had to return later
but the feeling of that run
of disobeying
of my heart beating fast
of my small lasted freedom
is still in my mind
causing me
to want to run once more
and never stop
till i'm so far away
even her in her sliver car
can't find me

i want to run
and run
and run
and run
and i don't wanna ever stop