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Incendiary passion
that ignites an ember's flame
Gone but not forgotten
but t'is really not the same.
I long for lips that hunger
and the unrequited bliss
The torch that sets the heart afire:
the unexpected kiss.
I wonder if
I’m an ill fit,
ill-equipped
action figure
who can’t figure
out this ****.

One day I’m
just too skinny
with too much hair,
but I’m working in
the opposite direction
so, I leave alone
with heartbroken
*******.

Years later
the pounds are
finally coming off
I’m finally feeling
a little hot,
but according to her
I still am not
good enough
to be her lover
or even be
her comfort ****.

I’m funny
and good enough
to be the gay best friend
but I am not
actually in to men.

I doesn’t matter
cause I never make it
to the Goldilocks
zone of love.
I’m either too big in the ****
or not confident enough.

It’s funny
cause no matter
how many times
I lose
I can always seem
to lose again,
parting ways
with the friends
who betray
the hopes that
they will stay,
but they
just ghost away.

Maybe this time
I will be the specter
who spirits himself
swiftly and safely away.
The door opens and a haggard figure drags his tired self in. He pushes play on the black five disc cd player and slumps down into an old white metal chair. His work shirt flies to the bathroom, hits the side of the shower, and rests on top of the ***** laundry pile.
There is a slightly sad song playing in the background now. Tears slowly fall, retreating in to the wrinkles of his exhausted face. “Stupid song,” cries the young man. His face wears more age then his life should have allowed. Hairs retreat awkwardly across his forehead, leaving stragglers behind in weird places.
            He imagines those lone brown hairs turning around and sighing, “Guys, oh guys where’d you go?” A small chuckle tries to surface but is rejected its freedom as the sad song continues. “Come on, come on just turn off the stupid song.” He says with a painful grin
            He puts on a clean shirt, well an only been worn once or twice kind of clean. Lyrics of love and loss play, then end, and he hits repeat. “Why did I do that?” he thinks. More tears make their presence known, crossing the neckline, and soaking his thin blue super hero shirt. “What the hell is wrong me?” The stranger stares into the cracked mirror.
            The crack seams to split and separate his face, leaving part of it just a little out of sync with the other part. He imagines attempting to shave his hair with this screwy homemade funhouse mirror. Patches of brown hair would be left in random spots, like little bushes sprouting up on a barren beige landscape. Then he imagines strange black tumbleweeds rolling through his head. Another chuckle tries to escape his lips, but is stifled by the sobs.
            “Oh this is ridiculous. I’m not even sad. At least I don’t think that I am sad. Maybe I am cause I am crying. I know I am ******* stressed,” he reflects.
            The song ends and he plays the next sappy sad song. His black work pants take the same journey as his work shirt. Then he puts on a pair of ripped shorts, the hole in the crotch threatening to expose his junk.
Ten minutes have past. While he has been crying laughter seems to want to take over. “Maybe I should see a doctor?” he muses. “Between the crying the urge to laugh, and the talking to myself in the mirror, I must be losing it.”
            The laughter finally breaks through.  A few minute pass. He slips his weary frame onto the small mattress, burying himself so tightly in the blanket that he could not move. Then he goes to sleep. The dreams come and go with a little more tears and some laughter.
            Morning burns his sour face, waking him to the real world once more. His muscles crack as he sits up and tries to stretch out. “I am too young to make those noises.” He considers. After a good long, well annoyingly long ****, he smiles at his reflection in the mirror.
            There are no more tears. Features have been restored to their proper age appearance, and the stress that had been eating him up is gone. He gazes at the clock, surprised to find it blinking twelve. Then checks his watch. “Wow it is almost one pm; good thing it is my day off.” He smiles. “ I really need to stop talking to myself.”
There is nothing like
the first time.

Mother to son,
when the violence is done
no blood on his cheeks.
No one hears him speak.
The fear makes him weak
afraid he may repeat
the same horrors
she did.

There is nothing like
the first time.

Rigid body,
cold flesh,
hand reaches
to its chest
to its mouth
to feel its breath
but nothing is there.

There is nothing like
the first time

Clumsy lovers
find each other
under the covers
laughing,
licking,
and in that moment
certain
that they are in love.

There is nothing like
the first time.

Which is always the last time,
you are past time,
past mind,
past breath,
last heartbeat,
first, and only death.
They want me to believe
that cemeteries
are not delusions
were we seed
the flesh that bleeds
not back to the brown spot
but back to a black box
to let the spirits soar
to the heavenly hosts
right up to meet
that holy ghost.

But if that were true
why would I have to
sit through
this horror show
with no real preview
or proof of the heaven
you claim to know?

Why should I be
forced to wait patiently
while you demand
that I bury my body
in a box that blocks
all that glory
from going back to
the beautiful earth
that birthed
me and you?

I don’t buy it;
Why should I let tyrants
woo me
with words
that don’t match
our true history?

They’ve been doing this
for centuries,
but they are not
fooling me.
Don’t let them
fool you.
To a shallow person silence is a curse. It forces him or her to think about what they may be lacking or come to terms with their failures. However, to a thoughtful, and reflective person silence is a precious gift which allows him or her to learn new things about themselves and the world around them, to grow from their mistakes, and to adavance from their failures, instead of being stopped by them.
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