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Abbigail Jul 2017
I have never been a patient person.
and when someone told me, " give it time, you will move on." I burned.
Time was against me until I realized waiting doesn't mean to tear me down. It helps us build ourselves up again.
If you let time do what it came there to do,
Time will put a bigger smile on your face than the person that took away your smile.
Time gives you the wisdom of realizing not everyone will stay and thats ok.
Time holds you in its arms and helps you realize self love.
Time gives you the gift of starting over for all the right reasons.
"Give it time." -my new favorite saying.
Abbigail Jul 2017
love with all you have.
leave no regrets, and leave no words left unsaid
leave it all on the line.
and if they didn't want it, just understand that you weren't not enough and you were not too much. You were everything and they didn't realize it.
some people don't see the meaning of something until it is long gone.
so love with all you have because once everything is said and done, you did everything you could.
look back and smile because you are not left with regrets and you are not left with having to hold your tongue.
and now, look forward and realize that someone out there will love you unconditionally.
I will be okay
Abbigail Jul 2017
Bending over backwards and dragging myself down to hold you up is exhausting.
At the end of the day, I take a layer of myself off like a man who works.
My bones ache when I lie down to rest, I will never get to retire will I?
Everywhere I go, your shadow lingers there. Will I ever get to truly rest?
  Jul 2017 Abbigail
thebutterfly-writes
if the ocean would carry me
it'll collapse under the weight of my bones
made with cement and steel
and the burden each brick owns

witness the waves howler and scream
just like the heart caged in my chest
blood bubbling around the muscle
surging with every beat and protest

the bottom of the sea may be quiet
like my tongue folded neatly in my mouth
though feral beasts deep within
choke with pressure more than i can count

the ocean and i are seperate
both flowers from different gardens
one ephemeral, one wilting before your eyes
but both's head tilting up to the heavens

sorrowful eyes, swirling, storm awakening
chaos mingling betwixt water and blood
ravid souls in dire need of feeding
cursed and blessed by god

i wonder if i could carry the ocean
within just the corners of my palm
i and the ocean - we are one
a catastrophe after the calm
i love the ocean. it makes you feel a lot of things.
  Jul 2017 Abbigail
D Conors
i want you if
even for the
shortest moment
of time
even if knowing
our hellos
will also be
goodbye.

i want
you

to hold me.
D. Conors
06 july 2010
Abbigail Jul 2017
Can you tell me why I crave your skin on mine?
Or how you used to hold me with your calloused hands?
When deep down you knew you never meant for me to get comfortable because you weren't staying.

Can you tell me why my beating heart still aches for you when I beg it to stop?
As many times as you broke my heart into more than two pieces, I still somehow manage to scoop the remaining pieces up and convince myself that you will be the one to fix this.

My brain replays the memories we created like a movie, when it ends, my brain screams for it to be played one more time like a child and their favorite song.
Will the memories fade like the child's love for the song?

I cannot stand to be alone anymore. When everything is settled down and calm, waves of overwhelming feelings engulf me and I cannot escape.
Is that why you are never alone?

I hear our song on the radio and I immediately turn it off.
Do you let it play like any other ordinary song just to avoid the question of someone asking "why did you turn it off?"

My walls wonder why I have not hung up any more pictures of you, I reply "No more adventures."
Do you think of me when you go outside to take a picture of the sunset?

At night, I used to count down the days I wouldn't haft to sleep alone anymore.
Do you continue to add up the days you've slept alone? I hope the number keeps adding up.

I sit outside at night and I stare at the moon, I feel better when I realize that you and I see the same moon.
Do you realize that no matter where you go, the moon you see is the same one I see?

My eyes see everything different now. I no longer watch the sunset and I no longer love the ocean.
Is that why you're afraid to look around? Are you still afraid to put on your glasses?

Everyday without you, I run a marathon. My life has become a repeated marathon of exhaustion.
Why did you stop running?

There are over 6 billion people on this earth and I wanted you.
Why didn't you want me?

— The End —