Some people claim they speak with God
Others will try to tell them that’s just their intuition
But I think they’re both right

I feel so lonely
I want someone to know me
And caress me slowly
Instead I’m imploding

I search to no avail
As loneliness prevails
My life goes stale
Telling tall tales
Of how I was impaled

I’m the single Pringle at the bottom of the can
That can’t be reached by their hand
Because it holds a brand
I can’t withstand
They always demand more
Like I’m their ****** *****
Who won’t stand for
The grand tour

So I just keep breathing
As love keeps leaving
Sitting here seething
Like I’m teething
While they beat me
Discretely

I know what I want
And won’t settle for less
But the settlers taunt
Saying they’re blessed
The riches they flaunt
Of having a guest
Leaves me impressed
But once I’m undressed
I see it’s all in jest
So it’s time to rest

I want to be part of society
Without anyone tied to me
Because they just lie to me
Playing hide and seek
Making life bleak
I travel through the cosmos
Where only God knows
How much time slows
Where the blind go

So I fold
And throw in the towel
Once I’m cold
And disemboweled
I reluctantly resign
While I’m singularly defined
Our lives will never intertwine
So I live inside my winter mind

I say life as a bachelor
Is spectacular
To mask the hurt
Of being attached to dirt
Inside this frozen canyon
Where I can’t join a tandem
While others avoid my fandom
I become a haunting phantom

This misery gets increasingly annoying
So I convince others to join me
In relationship avoiding
And defense mechanism employing
To act like I’m enjoying
The life I’m destroying

I need to express myself
For my mental health
Not to melt
But I don’t make art
Because it’s torn apart
Like a bleeding heart
Eaten by seething sharks

In a match of the friendless
Versus the defenseless
It’s the pretentious
Who condescend us

They hit all
The pitfalls
With wit small
But sit tall
Behind thick walls
Of vitriol

They see examining art
As a way to prove they’re smart
By blindly rejecting what others like
And enjoying the obscure
As if being different makes them right
Which is obviously absurd

On a plane where opinion
Is treated as fact
They claim dominion
Over the artistic track
By shooting black flak
Until I angrily react
And flies I attract

You might take the angle
I think everyone is painful
I’m not saying there aren’t angels
But there are definitely demons
With no explainable definite reasons
Why they call some artists heathens
Based on the nonsense they believe in

Pretension and ignorance
Have a large difference
But both are carnivorous
Most of their comments
Aren’t very honest
Nor are they modest
They just burn the hottest

Their judgment stuck
On calling everything putrid
The best filmmakers ****
The best musicians are stupid
They can hardly be called lucid
Trying to be the negative Confucius

Their hate reaping
Gatekeeping
Breaks peeking
Artists seeking
One day reaching
Public preaching

I start to withdraw
Once they’re near
My heart won’t unthaw
Frozen in fear
The crowd is suggestible and fickle
So one negative trickle
Causes an avalanche of icicles
Knocking me off life’s bicycle

They discourage people from putting themselves out there
As they turn culture into a doubt fair
Only producing shout air
To reroute stares
Away from emotional expression
And toward themselves
With their rhetorical aggression
They put us in hell

In a government job
People do whatever they want
And don’t care if they’re wrong
In the private sector
Workers do whatever their manager wants
And don’t care if they’re wrong

A blinding light
Blocked my sight
A pervasive plight
That invades my life
Then degrades to night

The light is you
In a darkened zoo
Where my hatred grew
Until you shined through

You emanate a warm aura
More fragrant than God’s flora
Teaching more than God’s Torah
So you’re like my god sort of

When I talk to you
I feel love in my heart
So to avoid stalking you
Our ways I do part

I think of you constantly
Like you’re haunting me
Dauntingly
Taunting me

Your face
And smile
Show grace
For miles
So I race
To exile

But your hair shining brown
Like an earthy crown
Rules my town
Pushing me down
Underground

I hear you everyday
I hear everything you say
I hear your beauty
I hear you rebuke me
Like it’s your duty
To cut right through me

I see you everyday
Through the fray
Of swirling grey
In my heart
And my soul
I fall apart
And grow old

I tell myself I’m just waiting
I tell myself I’m still looking
But I’ve been self hating
Ever since you shook me

I look at the night sky
And ask God why
I can’t just fly
Away from this guy
So I just start to die
In this love I’m capsized
Wailing these laugh cries

I can’t love anyone else
So instead I just melt
This is the pain you’ve dealt
By just being yourself

I’m a performing circus bear
Traveling the world with my master
Who treats me as an equal
So we are comfortable companions
And make an amazing team
Performing spectacular shows for rabid audiences
Who don’t appreciate our effort
They try to antagonize and diminish us
But we remain stoic
Until today
A heckler grabs my ear
My feral nature gets the best of me
So I snap at them
I instantly realize my mistake
And so does my master
He shakes his head and walks away
Leaving me heartbroken
Without my only friend and protector
My overwhelming regret and sorrow make no difference
I’m reminded of where I stand with humans
As they euthanize me

You say you have chronic fatigue
I respond with so do I
You say I’m not in your league
The difference is I try

You say you have a disease
So you can stay on your knees
And beg and plead
For sympathy
Then you gatekeep
Based on sleep
So I can’t make a peep
Unless I’m curled in a heap

You have problems
But you abuse this
When you don’t solve them
They turn into excuses
You’re a hypochondriac
In a cycle so black
Your mind is cracked
From panic attacks

I’m not here to jeer
Those paralyzed by fear
But once you are near
I meet your whiny leer
As you show a clear lack of empathy
Saying no one else understands depression
I constantly feel it enter me
I just don’t make the same concessions

I don’t mind if you take medicine
For your head to win
Against the grim
But don’t tell me you have it worse
From your self imposed curse
Living in the back of a hearse
Because when I say you should stop running
I see a shitstorm coming
With war drums drumming
Showing energy that’s stunning
I guess it was reserved for hunting