As a small child
I constantly seek any kind of discovery
But things get wild
With what the kitchen cupboard brings

Without my shepherd
I grab the pepper
I don’t know what it’s meant for
So in my hands it’s centered

My eyes start to tear up
My nose starts to tingle
My fingers will clear up
This temporary wrinkle

I rub my eyes
Bringing demise
Violent cries
Follow pries

All I feel is pain
Surging to my brain
In my eyes torrential rain
Burning me until I’m insane

All I see is red
Inside my head
From pepper fed
To my eyes of dread

Father grabs me
And holds me under a faucet
I think he’s attacking
I think he’s lost it

Help he’s killing me
I’m going to drown
With water he’s filling me
So he’ll no longer frown

But he pulls me out before I die
Much to my surprise
There’s no pain in my eyes
And I can see my father is wise

I mistakenly
Thought he had forsaken me
And was murdering me blatantly
But he was actually saving me

So it’s him I trust
Because I must
But I have a lust
For wild gusts

So I am his student
Yet not as prudent
I’m always truant
Ignoring influence

But I pick it up along the way
Just before my life decays
I recall a helpful phrase
Or words of praise

I get lost
But then I am found
The only cost
Is to think I have drowned

In my mind there’s a thirst
For pain that’s the worst
So I self impose a curse
Until I’m ready to burst

My mind drifts to the ugly
That endlessly bugs me
Things seem so lovely
But my mind is hungry
For war drums drumming

In people
I find evil
They’re so jingoistic and aggressive
Following anyone they find impressive
Until they’ve reached the zone
Where my negative mind goes

In love
I find shoves
Would he love me if I was *****?
Would he love me if I was burned?
I wonder what it will take
For me to be spurned

And God
I find odd
Would God allow me to **** myself?
Or would he send me to the pits of Hell?
Where I could drown in a bitter well
Regretting trading my life for a cell

My mind goes to the darkness
In the ocean I see a shark’s nest
So it becomes my dark quest
To join the heartless
By forsaking my own empathy
Until there’s nothing left of me
So I can ignore the theft I see
Inside this negative mess I bleed

There is dark magic
Here in my attic
A magician’s tactics
Cause pain emphatic

This magician gives me all I can handle
Until one day I’m dismantled
Like a once lit candle
Extinguished by the ice near Ymir
Birthing the Titans I fear
Bringing death here
Morphing me into a rigid wreck
Here in the frigid depths
I wish I left

The violence of violins
Lamenting the vile sin
Conjured by riled kin
Like they’re wild djinn
Can’t be muted
Only diluted
By becoming rooted
In thinking stupid
Avoiding Cupid
To join the putrid

The magician concocts potions
That excuse my emotions
As I forget devotion
For a temporary motion

The magician gives us difficult obstacles
And easily medicated excuses
So people won’t make things optimal
While purpose eludes them

Like Jekyll and Hyde
My hackles I hide
With shackles of pride
Covered in mystic thorns
So my wrists are torn
From the pain adorned
It’s my brain I mourn

The magician erects walls so thick
They separate healers from the sick
With magic bricks
Imbued by the magician’s enchantment
He builds a wall and then expands it
Until those inside become tantric
From the prison wall’s antics

Every time I turn the page
I am given rage
On the magician’s stage
Of the wars we wage
Under a curse of anger
Dehumanizing strangers
To deploy the Army Rangers
Perpetuating harming danger

The magician lies
The magician steals
The magician hides
What is real
Until I feel
The cold steel
The magician wields
Piercing through my electrified body
I guess the magician finally caught me

Most Christians don’t like Slayer
They say it isn’t Christian music
They say it’s irredeemably flawed
Because it goes against God
But I believe all music can be seen as religious music
God created those artists and their environment
And their art is a way of expressing the result of that
By sharing what’s on their mind
For religious people to change those minds
They must understand those minds
And find appreciation for the secular culture
To ask one side to change significantly
And not change yourself at all
Doesn’t seem symbiotic
Yet the religious stay purposefully oblivious
In order to not have their faith challenged
Because they think without it they’d be hideous
Caught in predatory atheist talons
So they sing their own hymns
And follow their own whims
And wonder why people can’t relate to their culture
Because they seem like disconnected vultures
Preying on the weak
And those in defeat
For a money deplete
To those on the other side
It’s the evil elite
Sending the other for a ride
The two never meet
And just believe all the lies

I’ve been given a life of bliss
Into the church I slip
To worship this
First on the list
Is where to sit
In the holy pit
Of soul and spit

In the church there’s a battle
Between a serpent’s rattle
And the deafened cattle
There’s heaven and hell
In the seven sins I smell
Tainting the holy well
In which I dwell

I see pews
Of bad news
And my muse
But shy blues
Make lies loom
And I’ll die soon
In this spite tomb
Where I hide doom

The flamethrower
Game goer’s
Blame lowers
Shame knowers
To lanes slower
And a constrictive halo
Doesn’t let brains grow
So if the pastor say so
They’ll live in a daze glow

Their entropy
And my atrophy
Start centering
Around catastrophe
When what has to be
Is shooting flak at me
Dastardly

Two sides collide
And I must abide
To survive
The hive
Where demons and angels
Are leaving me mangled
Constantly tangled
In their angles

Some are good
Some are evil
Jesus saves
But do his people?

From a monstrous storm
A monster is born
With monstrous horns
In a monstrous form

The genesis
Of my nemesis
Who venom spits
Left me with
A hefty myth
Of demonic gifts
Through which to sift
In that dark abyss
I found I missed
A beautiful kiss
To unclench my fist

I give monsters a wide berth
As wide as the Earth
To avoid all the hurt
Of being buried in dirt
Once I learn my worth
To them is the worst

Through the monstrous night
It takes a monster to fight
Against this monstrous plight
When the monsters have might

Don’t tell me I’m fine
Or tomorrow’s a new day
Just say never mind
And send me on my way
Into the world of grey
Through which I wade

My inevitable metamorphosis
Put me on negative courses swift
Now I can’t abort this
So my phone cordless
Provides a rather short list
So when I try to import bliss
I receive misery’s scorched kiss
In the form of crippling loneliness

I see the end of times
From severed ties
And clever crimes
In my never mind
I forever climb
While I’m left behind

In this monstrous land
I become a monstrous man
Because of the monstrous sand
Falling from this monster’s hand

During his crucifixion
Why did Jesus ask, “My God, why have you forsaken me?”?
Could it be that in moments of severe pain
It’s okay to have doubt?