I remember seeing her
for the first time
and I remember
telling myself that
we'll never be together.

I felt my stomach turn.
It must've been the butterflies
fluttering away
because they know that
they will not be useful
to a man filled
with hopelessness

I am lost
in this abyss
you have created
in my heart.
A hole that
only you can mend;
darkness
that can only be illuminated
with your smile.

I have put so much of myself in you
that after you left me,
it feels like
I don't know myself anymore.

Softly, her soft and warm
caresses on my face fade
as she takes a dip in the water.
Trailing behind her are
beautiful rays of blonde
and auburn hair.

I watch the spectacular
final act of the sun as she
leaves her stage, bringing
sadness to her spectators;
She takes joy away for
seeing her is joy itself.

And as the world turns dark,
I am overcome with the
feeling of pain and regret
as I realize I didn't watch
the sun set alone before.

Swirling and swirling,
that was how the coffee went
as I stirred it,
wishing at the same time
that I could go into the whirlpool
and just drown.

And I drank the coffee
without cooling it,
not caring if it burns my throat.
I felt it trace a warm trail
on my esophagus
and scatter on my chest.
It finally reached my heart
which has been cold for so long.
The feeling was comforting.

Sometimes I lay wide awake in bed,
gazing at the stars in my window
and thinking about
our own individual differences
and the secrets that they posses.

And I start to wonder
if someday
there will be someone
brave enough to discover
the depths of my soul
and unlock its secrets that
even I am not aware of.