I asked for it,
I really did.
I pushed you away because I could.
She was never toxic ,she never bit.
She never doubted me, and for that I feel like ****.
I can't take back what I said or my actions that took place, I can't take back words and just erase.
The damage I have done.
Her eye's I imagine to be red and with tears,
She has no limit, no anger, no fears.
She's not held back by me anymore.
And for this I am forever in sorrow.
Don't sympathize me.
I am cruel, I am unfaithful and for that I am a fool.
Don't sympathize me.

Half of the time it slipped my mind
I'm not ignoring the thoughts
Pouring out of your membrane
I noticed the game change when you decided to stay
I must say
I never thought we'd still be here
I'm still feeling the same fears
I remember you left before
We've been here before
A million times before
So of course walking towards the door seems logical
If I didn't know
You'd probably go and chase me down
Before I even stop to catch my breath
So what's left of the path you choose to take
Avoiding the wrath of your previous mistakes
And if for heaven's sake
I choose to find the meaning in what the hell I've been doing with my time
Half the time it probably slipped my mind
What we were fighting for
Because I ignore the voice telling me to hide from the boogie man
He only wants to hold your hand
He'd rather keep you in complacency because he is content
Creeping on me
Sleeping on me
I guess because my pillow top is comfy
Pillow talk is humming
Something tells me these words sound untrue
But he knew
**** he knows how to unlock my secrets slipping in and unveiling my soul
How long will it last
Lust ain't the meaning of love
Taking your word for it ain't the meaning of trust
And if I'm honest I'd say you don't know me at all
We having only existed in the space between these bedroom walls
If these four walls could talk all they'd have to tell
Is a story of a romance that grew aflame
And the lovers who turned to looking for an easy escape
Because neither of them knew how to say...
I love you

I Have Written Letters That I Can Never Send
Letter After Letter After Letter. . .
I have written you so many letters.
Letter that started out telling you that I love you.
Then letters telling you  how I much I want you
Hearing your voice meant so much. I felt like a little girl stealing Candy
It’s true, I Love You
You are the only one I’ve ever loved
Sure there have been others
Sure I told them
But none were you
just words to others
Your heart will not be mine
That time with you is the best I’ll ever get
So it seems I wait in vain
For love that is not shared…but still
I love you & always will do