This isn't much of a poem
But it's been weeks since I've slept well
Thoughts that crowd my mind at this hour
To the outside, I can never tell

I have a pain in my chest
And I fear the uncertainty
That if I fall asleep tonight
Tomorrow, what would become of me?

What if I don't wake up?
Or what if I wake up alone?
Can I really make this life work
Without the person I call home?

Stay, please.

I dont blame you
For walking away
Only now i realize
The gravity of my mistakes

I dont blame you
For givin up on me
I see now
The person i used to be

I wish you'd let me show you
How sorry i really am
I apologize, i apologize
For not being the best that i can

I wish i were the greatest
Love story you could ever tell
I wish i knew back then
So i could have treated you well

Coz you stuck by me
You cried but you understood
You were patient
You did the best you could

I dont blame you
I know how much you hurt
I wish you knew that i know
Just how much you're really worth

Baby you're not easy
Easy to throw away
Trust me, i know now
Now that you're not here with me today

How did you do it
How did you stick around
With a girl like me
Far better you could have found

Id like to say thank you
Id like you to know
How sorry i am
I feel so low

I shouldve treated you better
I should have treated you right
Kiss you every morning
Hold your hand at night

I wish you find better
Better than i had to give
I wish you all the happiness
Even with this guilt i feel

I should have been there
I should have thought it through
You should know baby
I dont blame you

I watched you dance around the floor
With beads of sweat dripping from your face
You had tears in your eyes
It was perfect, you were perfect

The place was packed with 800 people
All of you prancing with emotion
But i could only see their shadows
Because i couldn't get my eyes off of you

Every move you made was *******
You spun around, you arched your back
You stared across the room and into the spotlight
As if you were a slave seducing your master

You had your green shirt on
That hugged your body so well
And I blushed as i gazed at your perfection

The moment the music stopped playing
You looked up at me and smiled
You waved and you started to walk towards me
You were saying something but I couldn't hear you
I replied but I couldn't hear myself either
I didn't know what we were saying

I watched you walk away to join the second round of rehearsals

You were set to perform that evening, I couldn't wait
I could have watched you all day
I would see you up on stage and I'd be proud as others see how amazing you are

I doubt you know that I think you're perfect
And by perfect I mean beautifully flawed
You held my hand before but I never told you it made me wonder
If you did it because you wanted to or because it was cold

I planned to wear my white dress for you, the one with the lace and all
And I planned to hand you a bouquet of flowers, but not roses
Red tulips and yellow chrysanthemums, probably
Or better yet hydrangeas. I don't know.

I was hoping that after I slipped in my white dress
And after I bought you the flowers
And after you danced
And after they saw how amazing you are
And after I handed you the flowers
That maybe we can spend some time together and maybe you can hold my hand again
I hope it won't be cold so I wouldn't have to wonder, either
And maybe this time when you look at me, you wouldn't look away
But instead press your lips against mine

What I hoped for the most was that I wouldn't wake up
Because if I did, I'd have to dream this dream again till I get the ending I hoped for
I don't mind seeing you every night, having all this happen again
But I can't wait for the night when I'd find out how it ends

Such a sweetie you truly are
The sweetest among the sweetest by far
I wonder why your words have such a sad tone
Though i may be wrong, can't really tell through the phone.

I'm feeling quite lonely, i wonder if you can tell
I try to remind myself of your words that all will be well
I'm not sure what I'm doing, what my priorities are,
From friends to family, from coffee shops to bars.

Thank you for being patient, for waiting it out
You give me so much support especially now that I'm in doubt
I hope i'd stop crying inside and just know what I need
Whatever happens, stick around, I plead.

You’re my number one
You’re my one and only
Yes, the only one
I want home waiting for me

I can’t tell what’ll happen
If our feelings change
In one way or the other
Id love you just the same

Ill spend my very last dime
For now, its all for you
And if it reaches forever
Well, who knew

I'd fall so deep in love
I can’t get you off my mind
You’re my first priority
Any day, any time

We’re halfway there
We’ve made a mark
It’s been 6 months
You still feel that spark?

Coz it’s been 26 weeks,
Around 182 days,
That’s roughly around 4, 368 hours
And countless number of ways

That you’ve given me happiness
With your every kiss and hug,
It’s like the fourth of July in me
I’ve got a bad case of the love bug

So yes, you make me gay
With you, I’m ecstatic
You already know I’m so uncool
And such a hopeless romantic

So let’s just keep going
I’d like to know you more
I’ll study your very being
And still love you till your very core

So I’m sorry, babe
If I ask for forever
I know it’s all uncertain
But never say never

Happy 6th month
And thank you for teaching me
To stay strong
And wear my heart on my sleeve