I don't look like that anymore.

I grew.

I grew tired
I grew a white collar from my neck
I grew to know you
I grew too close to cynics
I grew out of my skin
and into someone else's
I grew angry at my reflection
I grew tired.

I grew up.

ive been catching fire flies
baby just to try
to make the light you shine
when your crazy eyes meet mine

maybe im not sure what i did to make you mine
maybe its the way your candle lighs
making me flutter butterflys
its my stomach getting nervous twisted tied
up every time




girl im just catching fire flies

time is going by so crazy just to watch you drive
hitting ditches swerving dirt roads
like you do it all the time
the moon in front
so keep your eyes on mine and never let me go
im catching light inside your eyes
every time that mine are closed












i

In the dawn, I saw you there
With misty eyes and tousled hair
And with the sunlight flooding though,
I knew the summer scent of you.

You trickled yourself over me
The way the light pulsed through the trees.
And hand to hand we carried on
Across the dampened morning lawn.

Our pluming breath of spectored speech
Soared skyward towards the dancing leaves.
Gaze to gaze, brown to green
The morning lost it's sacred gleam.

don't whine precious
you wrench her bones
they break silently

some ask why.

she hasn't the courage to budge.
you. took. her.

The orchid is flowering
Opening,
a living mandala
Next to my bed
I hear it in my dreams
It's telling me very strange things
About the chemistry between us
And what being a flower really is
And what it really means.

There's a lot to learn.

The orchid whispers in chemical symbols

I danced through the night one night
I drank water in the desert
The sweetest taste, I've ever known
I heard a sound I've never heard before
The buzzing of Chi
Blowing in
while the curtains fluttered
In the night time wind.

Our time I know is limited
Forever wilts away

But while the orchid is flowering
That's for another day

I find myself longing for the scent of the night and at least
One more dream to go.

I only loved you
when it was
Convenient
I'm really sorry
that I  didn't think
of you
( When it really mattered.)
What's the matter with my
soul? It isn't correct
but nothing feels wrong.

I feel something , I don't know
if it's "sorry".

Looking into the void.
I think I seen you.

Reached out.
We met again.

For the first time.

It was love


Possibly maybe.

holding on to right now.


Frozen. your face perfection.

Eyes closed.

Waiting so anxiously for you
to open them.

You don't.
   My heart arrested by your beauty.
   Shatters when you chose not
   to look at me.



I don't feel any signs of growing.