And it's Friday
And I'm sorry
As the ghost behind your shoulders
Steps out from somber shadows
It's imprinted in your walls
And in your hands
And I know
And I'm sorry
It's always bleak when the week will end
Weakness begins
It's imprinted in the ceiling
To steal your smile

And I know why
She never had to tell me
I know why my sweetest love
Hates Fridays
And I know why
I understand she loves me
It's not the weekend, it just Fridays

Still it's Friday
And I'm sorry
I only put on my boots
To walk through cemeteries
It's imprinted in the graves
And in my mind
And I know
And I'm sorry
Tonight I'm going to party
By turning low the lights
It's imprinted in our blood
And beats our hearts

And I know why
She never had to tell me
I know why my sweetest love
Hates Fridays
And I know why
I understand she loves me
It's not the weekend it's just Fridays

It's not the weekend, it's just Fridays
That make her feel so low
It's not the weekend, only Fridays
That sit heavy on a soul
It's not the weekend, it's just Fridays
That would steal her glow
It's not the weekend, only Fridays

As I go to sleep
You're waking up
I'll sleep well
I promise
I hope you did too
Good morning
And goodnight
As I go to sleep
You're waking up
But if you think of me
Listen to my songs
Learn the words and sing along
You'll be with me in my dreams

I would pray to
God
In the church
On the top of the hill
I would look for something sacred
As I'm praying on the altar

Deep underground
The caves
The secret society
Hellfire
I would pray to god
He would look for the other

Am I a part of the earth
Or the sky?
A part of me
Apart from me

Suffer no more

Is it the dust of remnant smiles
In nuclear radiation
After the fallout?
Or is it merely hunger pangs
Pain within the glory
Of a rising morning sun?

Suffer no more

Am I the question
Or the answer?
a part of me
Apart from me

My half life becomes me
I laugh at pain
Because it's all I know
Three ducks in a row
Three blind mice
Me all alone
The farmers wife is angry

My dying energy
I can not find the source of strength
I used to know
So I go searching
With feeble hands and aching back
Into a new world
My mind is reeling

Ponce de leon thought he found the fountain of youth
He was wrong
Still I am much like him
I thought I found you

I've grown disheartened
Maybe light that shines so bright
Will only leave you blind
And all my words like all my feelings
Are misunderstood

I've grown tired
And in the five minutes it took
To write this poem
About how my mercury is in libra
But my Venus is scorpio

I've grown disillusioned
Because all my love is wasted
It's only water
It's only reflecting pools and hurricanes
And waterfalls

So
Do
I

I've grown
To be broken
And I am the water that smashes onto the rocks below

My sweet angel I fear with the stones I shall remain,
I am doomed to repeat this unhappy existence,
Where my memory lives on when the vines and the leaves are gone,
And I become inhuman, merely an energy

My love the warmth of your skin and the melody of your song,
Will haunt my being while I haunt the living,
These brick walls, this concrete jungle, this manufactured light
From where I come I shall return

And I may never ascend in this lifetime
I may never leave the next one

My summer seraph who guards the one who wears the crown,
Who smiles at the trumpet Gabriel plays as she makes her way back home,
And gates open, pearly and golden, and to those trapped in this cycle unknown,
I shall be caught in a never ending story when my ability to speak has gone

My sweet angel, soft voices, feather hair, and love,
I only want to hear what is better left unsaid,
How can I know that when I die, my body, my blood
I will not become a ghost, still with desire to touch you?

And my memories live on imprinted in stones, and cobble walkways, and iron-wrought fences
When I wish nothing more than to be forgotten, and to forget
I may never ascend in this lifetime
I may never leave the next one

There is a jaggle of masonry here, on a small hill
Above the gray-mouthed Pacific, cottages and a thick-walled tower, all made of rough sea rock
And Portland cement. I imagine, fifty years from now,
A mist-gray figure moping about this place in mad moonlight, examining the mortar-joints, pawing the
Parasite ivy: "Does the place stand? How did it take that last earthquake?" Then someone comes
From the house-door, taking a poodle for his bedtime walk. The dog snarls and retreats; the man
Stands rigid, saying "Who are you? What are you doing here?" "Nothing to hurt you," it answers, "I am just looking
At the walls that I built. I see that you have played hell
With the trees that I planted." "There has to be room for people," he answers. "My God," he says, "That still!"

My hope
Is a stained glass window
Shattered
And on the floor
A thousand sharpened pieces
I can't pick up
For fear of bleeding
My bitter hands

I stare at the sky
With my black eyes
I see buzzards and crows
A storm that only rages

My hope
Is a dream I have
While I sleep
On beds of razor wire
A thousand sharpened knives
Jaws of hell
Closing in on my
Unforgiven heart

I open the door
With my broken hand
My busted knuckles
My emptiness

I turn the lights down low

I don't want to judge you
Only love you
I want for you to feel comfortable
Divulging deepest fears
Darkest secrets
The pain filled past you still hold onto
            How can you let it go
            When it's a part of you?
            How can I love you
            If I can't accept you for your scars?

I don't want to hurt you
Just be a comfort
Because everything you're going through
Is **** I had to go through too

And I know
When your blind
Living in silence
Hoping the next step
Is the right one
Not a step right of a cliff
Free falling to a death
And I know

If you have a hand to hold
A loving soul to guide you
It's much easier to find
The place you really want to be

I don't want to judge you

Only love you

Reality is pretty funny
Between the strains and pains
And hunger pangs
And people who think bangs still look good
When they never did
Not even in the eighties

I've just been looking for happiness
And I found it in the most unlikeliest of places
A morbid place of loss and sorrow
Called Burger King
I bought some onion rings
And they were crispy enough!!!!!

Still I lose
Still I hold onto
What I never held in the first place
And I lose my faith
And I lose my hope
But I still find a place for humor

I still laugh

And I'm the king
Who you want to be
I'll have empty hands and empty pockets
But everything is mine

So grab those onion rings
With both hands
And let the crispness guide you

I'd feel like I knife is in my gut
Digging deeper
I'd feel like a knife is on my wrist
Because I only want to bleed
I'd feel like a knife has slit my throat
I'd feel like a knife has robbed me of life

If I ever fail you
These thoughts become me
And when I need to be strong
I am weak

And I let you down

I feel like a knife is in your back
And I'm twisting it

Standing in a pool of water
Dying of thirst
With the limb of a fruit bearing tree above my head
Dying of hunger
I am Tantalus
My suffering
An intricate plan
Designed by none others than the gods themselves

I reach up for the fruit
And my arms aren't long enough
I drop down to quench my thirst
And the water recedes
I am tantalus
My suffering
Is seeing what I need when it's always out of reach

She grows
By the light of the moon
And the tides are rising

All I need is a kick
In the back or the mouth
And I'll be drowning in the middle of an ocean

Because I was born
Knowing how to swim
But I've got a sinking feeling

Maybe I'm the anchor
That finds the ocean floor
And makes a home

What if the devil was walking
Through the garden of Eden?
And that pure and innocent blood
Was invaded by poison?
What if the the most beautiful sight
Any man ever beheld
Had to be bought
From the hands of evil?

What would the flower think?
He who slowly unfurls
The most colorful petals
The most wondrous aroma
What would the flower think
If he knew that all his beauty
Would be the thing
That caused the devil to pluck him?

And now the devil is walking though the garden
And evil surrounds that halo
Somewhere angels are crying for you
And this mad world feels a little bit colder



I've cried because of you
And your fluorescence ready to bloom
I've cried because I've seen
Clouds of rain over fields of glory

Maybe morphine
Is the thing I need
To **** the pain away
While it's killing me
Maybe *******
Maybe ketamine
Maybe roxycontin
A couple of thirties

Maybe heroine
Is not woman to save me
But a horse
I can ride to my own end

While I was busy chasing dragons
Wanting to reach the first high
Banging and shooting and doping and bruising
I forgot to see
I'm alive
I was born with all I need
And that dragon should be chasing me

Maybe it's love
Love for myself
And love for others
The godly love of sisters and brothers
Maybe it's just love
A smiling face
A funny joke
The realization that what it is,is what I make it be

Maybe it's just holding on to the better part of me

I'm worried about my heart
From the pre-cambrian period
To the advent of modern medicine
My heart beat with feeling in the mesoderm

Put your fire
With my fire
And we'll burn brighter
Burn brighter

And I feel my heart is weak
Maybe it stops when the beat drops
And I'll be dead on a stage
While the band still plays

I don't know what is wrong with me
It's not the way I think
All my thoughts grounded in truth
The hard ground
I saw the clouds on the horizon
But it never rains
I spend my life waiting to die of thirst

In my eyes
You are the most beautiful
In my mind
The most amazing
And I'm wasting all my time
Because I want to
Because I don't know how to love you
Or why I do
The way I do

How can you belong to me?

To see

It's been a long road
Through heather and pine
And storm clouds fall as rain
Creating mighty rivers
I build a bridge
So you can see
A bridge that begins where we were
and ends in your soul

And I finally see those eyes start to open
On the harshness of reality
The starkness of outdated modes
Those eyes so beautiful
And I know those eyes are opening
To see
Starting to believe
That there is beauty in this world

It's been a long war
And the brunt of ****** battles
That would take their  toll on me
Until I'm becoming weak
I plant a tree
A shimmering magnolia
In the calm at the center of the storm
These roots have taken hold

And I finally see these eyes start to open
On the light I had to fight to keep
And times when I felt hopeless
These eyes couldn't see my disease
But I know those eyes are opening
To see
If I felt pain
It's not still a part of me

It's been a long doubt
But the smiles never left me
And the language of the laughter
Cutting through the barrier
I understand
It's all that I can do
Release my primal desires
And show my love is true

And I finally see these eyes start to open
Onto a truth that's greater
Something always known
These eyes have seen the change
And I feel these eyes are opening
And looking upon me
Me, with strength and weakness
Liking what they see

In my moment of weakness
I look to the stars
I count my any blessing
And I find its many blessings

Gifted by god
To be tested

Still I know
It's a blessing I'm alive

See it,
          seize it
Deal
With the consequences
Later.  

Right Now
For happiness

Why wait until tomorrow?

God is on the pavement
It's a chalk outline that is drawn
Around the city
And from every corner of my mind
The jaws of hell are closing in

And I cannot help but wonder
As I wander
As my feet created in an image
I never could attain
Carry me from station to station

God is love
And where has all the love gone?
It was replaced by parking lots
Strip malls and strip mines
God is in the nature
Man destroys

I am on the pavement
Bleeding out
Just like god did before me
Sometimes you have to admit
The battles lost

Let the war still rage on

I speak a dead language to a shadow
Spreading a disease like honor among thieves
I use my hands to open doors
Disguised as another man that's out of reach
I'm out of time to read the stars

My sister
I don't ask for understanding
Only this

That you would hear my song

I'm digging up fossils that time forgot
Like the leader of a band of rogues
Searching for answers buried in the past
And should be left alone
Picking at a wound so it can never heal

My sister
There are spirits on my side
That only want

That you would hear my song

I'll love you more in one night
Than all the other guys
Combined in your life
Making love
And *******
Sweet and tender
Hard and raw
However you want

I want to know how you feel
My hands don't just touch
They leave a mark
When I touch you softly
I'll always be with you
But I'm leaving when I'm done
There is a sun I have to follow
But tonight I gave you light

Ill love you more in one night
Loving every salt of your skin
Looking into your eyes
Heavy breathing
Then I'll fold you up like a lawn chair
Toss you around like a ragdoll
Pick you up
And ******* against a wall

I want to know how you taste

If you got a kidney
I'll trade ya
I got a giraffe
A connection with illegal African animal smugglers
And I promise
Giraffe meat is delicious

My oriental connect
Just sold me some ground up tiger ****
***** strong!!!!!!
You and your lovely lady friend
Will go all night long
Hit me up on my trap phone
We'll make a deal

Or if buying blue eyed babies is more your thing
It's something I can swing
On the down low


Basically
What you want
What you need
Hit me up
I got you man

I see the colors of the city lights
I move so fast I cannot read the signs
The city is breathing
I breath it in
I'm going downtown to see me girl again
And when I'm lonely she is still my friend
I cannot touch her now
She loves me anyhow

I know I move so fast
I know I move so fast, please keep up
I know I move too fast, I don't want to lose you now
I don't want to lose you now

I see the dreamers in their plastic cars
I watch them slinking into smokey bars
They want to drink the stars
They think they'll never reach
I'm going downtown on the same highway
Where it's not me and it's never my way
I cannot touch her now
I love her anyhow

We are only shadows
Ninety miles an hour
Your only skin
I want to touch
We are only shadows
Ninety miles per hour
Your only love
I don't want to lose you now

I know I move so fast
I know I move so fast, I know where I'm going
I know I move too fast, I don't want to lose you now
I don't want to go without

He was my guide
My teacher
And all the lessons lost
Then learned again
This world has a way
Of laying you flat on your back
We have a way
Of lifting our legs in the air

When we are the ones should be doing the *******

He was a shaman
A ghetto Hammurabi
And when the night is too dark
And the truth too stark
And I don't want to play my part
I heed his words
His wisdom

I remember what he said
"**** this ****,
I need some chees"
How very profound

The first sentence catches your attention
By bold relevance
Still abstract enough
To make you want more
Then this sentence keeps you
By extrapolating on what was said before
The next sentence
A metaphor
Drawing parallels to the natural world
And end the stanza
With a line to draw it all together

Moving on to the bridge
Be musical
Play with the words
Be lyrical
Make a bigger point
By increasing the feeling
Im giving
And you are receiving

By now you are hooked

So it is time
For imagery
For color with meaning
For energy with feeling
And I can say what I want
How it needs to be said

And my truth will be accepted

I always trusted
Even when the the fires burning me
Were the fires of hell
The flames without an answer
I always trusted
When they were licking my heels
And growing up my back
But not clinging to a source
Rather burning all to ash
I always trusted

I always trusted
When my friend became a stranger
A stranger thing I never knew
And the pain I went through
I always trusted
When the distance growing greater
And the pain was growing larger
And the light becoming dimmer
I always trusted

That love would be the answer
At least
For most of the questions in my heart

I step onto sand
And throw it into water
A single book of matches
I throw it into fire

Surrounded by squares
No feeling
No falling
In the mirror where I saw your face
I said your name
Three times

I step into the past
And throw it into a different story
A single ray of hope
I throw a song onto the wind

Surrounded by squares
I'm hiding
I'm holding
In the mirror where you saw my face
You said my name
Three times

I worried about a heart
I see a flower blooming
Finally reaching light
The most beautiful light
I'm worried about a mind
Something I never thought I'd find
Gentle and kind
And consumed by passion
I'm worried about a soul
As a flower slow unfolding
The most beautiful sight
I hope she'll be alright

I'm caught in an
Egocentric predicament
What's outside
my phaneron
Solipsism
Or is it real


How should I know
How should I know
How should I know
I can believe

It's synapses sparking
Creating memory
And I'm only
The moments I've seen
Are you real
Or just a dream?

Why should the sea feel lonely
There is life beneath the waves
Life inside the waves
And music is the waves reaching the shore
Why should the sky feel lonely
When the clouds embrace
And the stars can always play
With the moon as it is hanging
Why should she feel lonely
When there is love in what she hears
Arms that long to hold
And I wait for her wherever she is

Mind is like a rampaging bull,
Angry, full of motion
I jump from thought to thought
And it keeps me awake at night,
One thought building another
Becoming something
A whole city in my mind
Full of fear and ambulances

Mind like an angels song
Peaceful as emotion
I jump from star to star
As it helps me dream at night
One hope building another
Becoming something
A whole metroplex of reason
Full of love and china dolls

It makes me see
From the dirt grows the tree
And I wish on the star
That you are made from
So I live to love
I touch satin skin
While I pray to a god
And listen to ghosts

I'm with the birds
I wish on numbers
I want too much
To ever need

It makes me see
The science of spirit
While I visualize
She spreads before me
As I live to love
And I love to hold
I talk to god
And empty voids

And these words are screaming
Beating into my brain
Worms are creeping
Screaming like the souls trapped in hell
And I don't hear
I won't be change
Under the water so long
I forgot how to breath

And it doesn't take
It mixes up
It shimmies and shakes
It throws to the ground
It never breaks
It never

And you are the litmus paper
The acid test
The basest emotions
The lowest common denominator
And you can't be divided
Can't be changed
Already what you are
Only what your told

Does it take
Mixing up
A thousand guns
And sharpened knives
It never dies
It never

I
Am
The greatest lover of all time
I
Reach
In a way that you will feel

No matter distance
Not important any preconceived notions
Or money of nations
Or boundaries were taught as children

I
Am
A citizen of every nation
I
Speak
Every tongue known to man

But it will mean nothing
Not a thing
Abysmal darkness
If you won't speak to me

The way my hands can touch you
I smile
Because you've never felt before
I bring you more
The way my words can touch you
I'm a lover
And I keep on loving
When all the love has gone

I love you
And I'm going to
I ask nothing of you
I release my expectation

You can't make me
Happy
And I can't make you be
What you aren't

Still right now
And forever
I love you
I'm always going to

And forever I will feel
Right now
When I needed something
I heed your words

You are you
I am me
We are one
I love you

And your failure
Your weakness
Your sickness
Your doubt

It's all
Me

I love you
The truth is
I'm inside you now
Then, when and forever

I love you
And I'm going to

I
Am
The greatest poet of all time
I
Speak
In a way you understand

When you'll never be able
To understand
The turbulence
Inside of me

And
One
In ten
Maybe one in twenty
**** it
one that doesn't exist
Understands the depth of my feeling

I'm looking for
That one

I
Stand
On the shoulders of giants
I
Reach
Even further than they could

And
One
Alone
In seven billion
Is a giant
Standing on the shoulders of giants
And even the stars aren't out of reach
To me

The stars are mine
I'll share them with you
Just follow me

This is not the life we knew
Not the world we knew before
When we held onto to a dream
And we made it everything

This is not the same old story
Bitter ends bring something new
And the skies would rearrange
Now everything is strange

But it's a change
We always hoped for
It takes us time
To see the truth

This is not the light we knew
All the many shades of blue
When we never could believe
Because we never wanted too

This is not the same language
We grew up with all the pain
All the words and all the feeling
That only left us reeling

It's a change
We always hoped for
That we fought for
The rainbow after storms

And I've never held before
But more and more
I believe
In you
As you believe in me
We have the love to make it be

Now everything is strange
And all this money only change
Falling out of pockets
Not enough to pick back up

Now everything is love
And no matter any distance
Any miles or kilometers
Or however you may judge it

It's a change
We always hoped for
The ability to grow
Into what we weren't before

This is not the life we knew
Let us change our point of view
So that even in the gutter
We're still reaching for the stars

And this life became so strange
That we understand the rain
It's a song we have to sing
Becoming everything

It's a change
We always hoped for
It's a light
In darkest night

And I've never held before
I've held for all my life
I believe
In you
As you believe in me
We have the love to make it be

They took my crown
And threw it off a ledge
I was already on the edge
The king is falling

Rooks and pawns
Pieces on a chessboard
The seeds of discord
Until I have to doubt myself

Until I have to find myself
By rumor or theme
It's just another scheme
Directed by the queen

The king is falling

I've heard enough today
And I keep listening
I've heard so much
I've said enough
Twenty odd years of pain
And maybe more
If you can't believe in me
You can't believe in truth

Love is a whisper
In a world of screams
A scrap when the feast is pain
I have everything
When I'm starving

And I'm so tired of the trees
They get to grow their roots
While my feet have to move
And I always have to prove
What words cannot explain
Can't be understood
If I can't believe in love
I can't believe in truth

And love is my relief
In a world of stress
A light in the universe
That's mostly darkness
And I'm blinded by the star I see

I'll always have something
To say
To make you know
Your the center of the universe
I'll always be able  to make
You feel
Like no one else ever could
Your the center of a universe

It's in me
If it's in me
It's in you
If not now
Just believe
I am you
And one day
Not now becomes forever

Not now
I hold you in my arms
Not now
We're physically close
Not now
I am a stranger
Right now
The love you need
To be strong
I
Am
You

Finding love


The love I need to be strong

I'll always have a body
To touch
And despite any distance
My obdurate soul
I'll always fall in line
You have control
I'll always be able to make
You feel
Your in control like no one else can be
Not even the hands that touch me

When you can't

Forever
The words you speak
Forever
The way they reach me
Forever
Love we look for
Right now
The love we have found

It's in me
So it's in you
Your inside me
I'll be inside you
With my hands to touch
What no ones ever seen
Or even realized
Existed

You are my angel
I try to explain
When I know I can't
I can't understand

I love you
And anyone that thinks
They love you more
Can go to hell
I love you more
I love the stars and universe
Your a part of
Can I be a part of you?

Forever
Forever
Forever
For now and always

And always and always

The trees are at war
They speak in signals unidentified by man
That if you are a flower
You understand

The trees are at war
And all the roots connected underground
They communicate
They know your here

The trees are at war
Because we as man can have a small  axe
And chop them down
As we've done many times before

The trees are at war
Chemical and biological
Pollen in the air
Their budding the leaves of chaos

The trees are at war
And at all times they conspire
They only really want
To deprive us of oxygen

Did I ever dream
Like waves that crash against a shore
And pound into my brain
With visions of wings and satellites
An ancient wisdom once forgotten
I have found
I have found
I have found you

Now the earthquakes,
The volcanoes,
The tragedies
They cannot fall on me

Because I dream
An ocean filled with wine
And we drink together
We drink until were drunk
And then we can enjoy the truth
That I have found
I have found
I have found you

Now the thunder
And the lightning
The devastation
Will only make me smile

Because I don't need a thing
I don't need a thing
I don't need a thing
I don't have

I would take a walk
Through lava flows and rapids raging
Take a look to the sky
And grab the furthest star I see
If the hand offends you
Cut it off
Cut away
I cut out

I am not afraid of death
I'm afraid of life
Like this

And modern battle fields
Next to my head the bullets singing
Concussive blow
My vision weak, my ears ringing
If the belief you hold
You live for it
You die for it
I am reborn

I am not afraid of death
I'm afraid of life
Like this

And I jump off the edge
Into the great unknown
I would close my eyes
And let my spirit lead me on
And I would gladly risk
No thought of a reward
I would close my eyes
And let my spirit guide me home

There is an energy
A star exploding
Becoming what we are made from
As the words and the Greek gods
The elements of our love
I feel the spirits
Cycles of the time
Because mercury is in my blood
And I send message for you
Run from marathon

And whatever we believe
Is what well be
The best is in your dream
The best in me

Yes there is rain
And there is sunshine
A rose has to come from somewhere
A red rose with roots in my hands and your heart
The understanding nurture of nature
I hear the angels
And they sing
The most glorious song ever heard
And it's harmony soothes my worried mind
I want to show you

That what we believe
What we make be
The best is all we want
It's all we feel

In my own eyes
There is a star that shines
And nobody can say anything
To convince me otherwise
In my own eyes
There is nothing more beautiful
Nothing I have seen
Nothing from my dreams

An ancient statue
Of Aphrodite
Goddess of love
Make me believe

In my own words
I can describe
How beautiful
I really know you are
A rising sun
A full moon
A shining star
In my own eyes

I've got my feet
They are real to me
Able to take me where I want to go
The mountain the beach
To you
Away

Because my words
Are trees being chopped
For firewood
They keep you warm
They make you hot
And I'm sorry

I've got these calves
They itch with anticipation
But my toes stay still
With fear I can't be
To you
Away

Because these words
Aren't what you want to hear
They scare you away
They make you feel
They make you fear
And I'm sorry

It's my great strength
I need restraint
Before the power that I wield
Becomes a weapon
A fire
That consumes us all
Im clad in pure white
With simple grace

Sleep well
My sweet angel
Sleep as an autumn seraph
In the bounty of the harvest
And there are no more nightmares
Only dreams

Sweet angel
Please sleep well
Knowing through the night
The bitter darkness
When you awake
I'll be at your side

And it will be enough to make you smile
Sleep well

Because I want nothing more
From you
Than what I need
And all I need
Is for you to keep dreaming
Sleep
Well
My
Sweet
Angel