These gilded wings
They lift you up so you may fly into my hands
That I may hold you
Your body all the colors of the universe
Your spirit is a keeper of dreams

Your vibrant colors
Underwater so long
So long a nymph
Waiting to burst forth in unfaltering glory

You eat the wind
That you traverse so gracefully into my heart
That I may love you
Your metamorphosis shows me how to change
Your life is my symbol of hope

I find you near the waters edge
The emotions you understand
Your eyes have seen everything
And my eyes see in you a light

Fly a little closer
Let me gaze upon your beauty
And I'll find a deeper meaning
You're all my sight

My dragonfly

I want the flower to bloom
Because life would not exist without its beauty
Light is only shining
So God can see her smile

Sun hands
Reaching through darkness
Only to touch every inch of you

The sun may rise tomorrow-

I want to see the color
Because it can't always be gray
The blue of her eyes
The fiery red passion

Sun hands
reaching through darkness
Only to place warmth on your skin

*The sun may rise tomorrow

Let's fight a war we don't believe in
These dinosaurs rule the earth
These bombs are not solution
These bones, these books
These boxes
This angry ammuntion

And what will I believe in?
What will I be?
When its only war around me
And death is by design

Let's die for no reason
These dinosaurs never sleep
These bullets are empty endings
This blood, this breath
This love
Being torn to bitter pieces

And what can I believe in?
What can I be?

I crawled into bed with death last night
I let her dark fingers wander my naked flesh
She whispered in my ear as she held my bones
                                                           ­              I let her have me
I touched her lower back last night
I let death climb on top of me and cry in pleasure
She moaned aloud and said my name with love
                                                            ­            I let her have me
I reveled in her cold embrace last night
I let her fall asleep heavy in my arms and my dreams
She became my tomb, my grave, my other side
                                                            ­            I let her have me
                                                              ­          All of me
She took my breath away
I rode her into the abyss

I'm singing songs for the birds
My wings have not yet grown
I don't know how it could happen
But I have to fly

Until that time I'm in the sky
Soaring to where dreams live
I'll keep on singing songs
For the birds

I'm singing songs for the birds
From my lonely empty nest
I can always be afraid of falling
But I have to fly

There is life behind her eyes
Her words are soft hands that I can feel
She is leaves in the wind
She is the lovely end

This wild young distance
This flame colored passion
This swaying of branches
This breaking of worlds

There is love within her skin
Her songs are fragile whispers I can hear
She is swaying limbs
She is the dancing stars

This spoken music
This screaming depth
This vulnerability
This tender dying

My sweet angel battles with demons
Its always heaven and hell in a way eternal
A war which will keep on raging
A story that's never ending

My sweet angel found a way to save me
While one of her hands held a sword
And she was swinging it into darkness
She held me with the other

My sweet angel sang a song with my voice
Spoke words with my thoughts
Held a meaning
In her heart
I would do most anything
To hold my sweet angel in my arms
That she feels my heart beat
And knows its because of her

My sweet angel sees nightmares in her sleep
Because she dreams so sweet
That a tongue cannot taste
Without going insane

My sweet angel is the only one to save me
I'm the only one to show her
That she is the love
I always need

My sweet angel became my only saint
My only every belief
My trust in fate
My guardian
I would do most anything
Offer up my life
To grant her strength
That she must keep fighting

Its always heaven and hell
In a way eternal
Its all her light in darkness
She becomes my faith

My sweet angel
Im going to love you forever

Pack it up and move along
Load it up again
Turn on the radio
In a u-haul truck
An old familiar song
The same meaning
In a new home

These cardboard boxes
Take on a meaning alone
My home was not my own
And the only life I've known
Was just a short time
When I'm looking forever

Tape it up and load it
Duck tape or Scotch
Like the many pieces
Which hold together my heart
And hold together these boxes
Containing my life
Containing my heart

My cardboard heart
Has a meaning unknown
My love was not my own
And all the love I've shown
Was just a short time
When I was looking forever

The smell that you love
Of freshly cut grass
Is only green leaf volatiles
From when the plant has been hurt

Its only trying to save itself
It only suffered a pain unspoken
That we as man
Enjoy

How can I really live?
When the scent of a just-mowed lawn
Is only tragedy
That brings me pleasure

Its only trying to heal itself
From injury which man inflicted
That I can't help
But love

An impossible silhouette
A candle's flame
A shadow without edges
The space between stars
                  The sky, the rain
                       The ocean between
                           Where I end
     w                           *And you begin
i                           t                           An imagination
          h                        y            ­      A dream
                    o                                 ­ A ghost finding peace
u                                                     ­ A star being born
                                 The wind, the wing   f
                           The currents between       o
                       Where you are                           r
                   And where I'll be                              e
                              ­                                                     v
                                                               ­                       e
                                        ­                                                 r

I do not love you except I love you;
I know not another way
I love you as though I were made to
As though I was born to sing to you

My heart might pump your blood
You run through my veins
Share all my scars
And become my healing

The only choice I have was made before me
I can only follow in the footsteps you leave
And each day find my way closer to where you are

It never was a choice and could never be
The stars I love will have to shine in the past
And their dust becoming you to me is sacred

I do not love you except I love you;
As a mother is with child, being held by loving arms
The peace that only trust can bring
As though I was born to sing a song for you

She tells me her heart, she tells me her soul
It's only love, It's always love

I sing my song, she sings along
It's only love, It's always love

She feels my love, she hears my voice
Its only love, It's always love

She speaks to me, she speaks my language
It's only love, It's always love

She shows me her dreams, I show her my truth
It's only love, It's always love

I show her everything, she knows
*It's only love, It's always love

Today for breakfast
Coffee and cigarettes
Kept me a fool through the morning
Liquid lunch
A six pack
Still pretty fool
And then denial for dinner
And more beer and cigarettes as dessert
Still somehow
I keep on losing wait

It's not what you say
It's how it hits me
It's not how you say it
It's how it stays with me
All in all it comes down to
Its not what you say
It's what you do

All my life I'll remember you
Until I die I'll remember you

It's not what it means
It's what it means to me
It's not how you move
It's how you move through me
All in all it comes down to
It's not how you feel
It's how I feel you

All my life I'll keep on loving you
Until I die I know it's true

What I really need
Is better left unsaid
Its always been a dream
Always I believe
Esmerelda
I see you dancing by the fire
maybe I should tell you that I love you
I guess its better if I don't

What I really need
Is what tortures me
A place to go where I can really be
A place I know I'll never reach
Esmeralda
I see your body casting shadows
The silhouette of a beautiful woman
I guess its better if I don't

What I really need
Is a heaven
A way to feel like I'm alive
I way to hold an angel in my arms
Esmerelda
I see your glorious gyspey eyes
I see my peace in them
I guess its better if I don't

I woke up to hammers playing songs in my brain about the sky
My fingers ****** from holding you in my dreams
Waves of light crashed into the rocky shoreline of my eyes
And my stare bore a hole through the paper I was holding
With no intentions of reading even the headlines

The only story that I know
I remembered the body of a woman
The dimpled smile too simple but complicated
The beautiful dimples on her lower back
It was on earth where I held venus

I woke up the same way as before
But somehow everything was strange
I was exhausted from the way you loved me in my dreams
And the way I'll never see you again
I woke up
And I was too tired to drink my coffee

I am aware of the space I inhabit
As fully as it is aware of me
As much as I am only decoration
My sound becoming color
Unseen by eyes
I lose myself in the strings I hold
I hold with love
I sit alone in empty rooms
And still sing my song for you

I couldn't not make music
You know
And I know
You couldn't not hear it

I am confined by the space that keeps me
As fully as it traps me in
In a way it binds
My hands are tied
And I can't touch you
I lose myself in the dreams I hold
The stars I love
I float through the universe
And still sing songs for you

I couldn't not make music
The song in my heart
Speaks to your soul
You couldn't not hear it

I fell asleep last night
Listening to wind
I woke up to buildings crumbling
Roofs collapsing
Caving in
Failing walls
Folding into themselves
Falling
Cities burning
Ruination
Becoming ash
Roads of wreckage
Detritus
And devastation
I fell asleep last night
Listening to wind
And I slept well

I wasn't meant to be understood
And you understand
I'm a light
With my darkness
A wave
Becoming particles
A choice made
That changes history

I wasn't meant to be anything
You make me something
I'm adrift
With empty feeling
Becoming full
A dream
Within a nightmare
A gilded fate

And all I know
Is what you've said to me
I'm a beautiful heart
And you think you're what my soul needs
You've always known
Even in undreamt past lives
That you were right
I need nothing but I need you............

Its all my hope you need me too

Read it once
And lose the meaning
Maybe twice
And see its beauty
Read it thrice

Poetry is meant to make you feel
Meant to heal
Help you deal with reality
That you know

Losing once
A somber story
Dying twice
As broken thoughts
Living thrice

My words are to make you feel
Make you love
Become a star
You follow home

Ticking clocks
And marching ants
Alligator skin
Crocodile tears
And wings of angels
Different angles
Many alleys
All my allies
Lay down their arms
At my command

If only forever
Satin skin and living pleasure
These words you speak
Intonations said by me
If I find a way

Lost hours
My way in days
Turtle dove
Carrier pigeon
Battleship
And submarines
Submereged in color
Aquamarine
Sight unseen
Is my belief

And if only light will shine
Bright enough to make me blind
I'll find my way by feeling

I feel you
You are the language written on my soul

I feel it again
A seething, writhing
Burn me down
I see it again
In myself
And I'm afraid
Maybe dreams that help me live
Make me die

I punch the walls
That I'll become
Concrete walls
I'm not afraid of pain
I hurt myself
My emptiness
My busted knuckles

I am again
Leaving my imprint
In these walls I see
These walls again
As I have always been
Will always be
Residual memory
A movement with no feeling

I strike at walls
That trap me in
My hands broken and ******
I'm not afraid of pain
But I'm petrified
Of life like this
My busted knuckles

I'm afraid instead of becoming you
I'll turn into a wall

dream away
             the day
                  with me
                        my love,
                       take a trip
                          across the
                                  furthest
                  ­                       galaxy.
                                                We can
                                          dream away
                                    the day
                               we see,
                  and forever
              will be
You and me.

Our meaning is written in our blood
Its the patterns of the universe
The stories of the stars
Reverberating in our being
The truth evident in nature
Its cosmic dust
That becomes us
And we
Becoming cosmic dust

We may only perceive
Of the world we see
But we will lose the deeper meaning

Our value is our ability to think and dream and love
Its the emptiness where we find light
The story of time
Repeating in different forms
The truth evident in feelings
Its only spirit
That inhabits body
And body
Becoming cosmic spirit

These stars in our heart
Are the stars in the sky
And the stars you see in my eyes

My night is done
It is only going to be dreams
And rising suns

No more fear of darkness
No more falling in
No more self destruction
No more

My night is through
It is only going to be morning
And feelings true

No more disbelief
No more lies I hear
No more eternal darkness
No more

My night is gone
And the nightmares I have known
Lose all meaning

No more demons chasing
No more jaws of hell
No more Satan's whisper
No more

My night is over
And I'll only fall asleep
To dream

I'm here
And where else could I be
I was always waiting on you
My whole life

See the skies
See faces in the clouds
See brightness of the sun
See the truth

Let my song speak to your soul
And any sickness
That it may heal you
That your belief in all I am
Heals me

See the night
See storied constellations
See distant nebulas
See the stars

I'm here
And where else would I be
I was only waiting on you
To speak to me

I was the strongest swimmer
And I keep swimming
With my fingers
I am a wizard
Shooting spells and encantations
I swim up the river
While most drown in the mainstream
The shallow
I am a shark
And I eat guppies without a thought
I swim in outersapce
I paddle out on my board
And find a sound wave
I ride it into you heart
And you are for ever changed
I was the strongest swimmer
So its my own choice to drown

I don't want to fall asleep
I want to stay awake
Working hard to make this dream come true
This dream of you
And its all cold
And its all wrong
That I'm not where you are
ripping me open
No use in pretending
No denying an ultimate truth
My songs became more sorrowful
That I'm not where you are
Come be awake
Take my hand in this living world
Come dance in the rain with me
Take my heart that was always yours
Because I feel all alone
That I'm not where you are

I push the pedal to the floor
And drive on concrete fields
My nature
Corrupted by influence
Happy to listen to silence
But always speaking back

Say what you needs to say
And it won't matter
Nothing matters anyways
Sing if you want to sing

I press these petals into books
And preserve them
Just nature
Corrupted by my hand
Happy to walk through fields
With dreams of boulevards

And I'm just a tiny giant
Head in the clouds
Feet on the ground
And hopes of making earthly heaven

You dance
Without moving your feet
You move effortlessly
Through my mind
And I want nothing more
Than you dance with me

Its all it always was
We can never change
We can only become

You dance
While your body stays still
Moving gracefully
Through my mind
And I want nothing more
Than to dance with you

And it will always be
We can only change
We can only become

Its all your mind
Your deepening words
Your unending truth
Its all you
And me
Everything I want to be

And its always a dream

We can like
Or we can love
Its just our heart
Its just god
I want our time to feel the way we need
The sun makes poems
The moon makes inside dreams
I die in ice
I live in fire
I wish the trees could read the stars in the night

It takes romance to understand

A long lost look
Or a smile that lives forever
For this writing to end
This blue book finds darkness
Thoughts on our tounges which mean were alone
Happy to hate the poet
The future is our music
Our feelings on paper
Can never be hands to hold
Our hearts beating exist and are alive

It takes romance to understand

I want to be a light
That it dissapates
The darkness in my soul
I want nothing more

A sun will rise
A newborns eyes
Seeing the world
In only black and white

I want to be a light
But a light can be too bright
And you go blind
Believing its darkness

A sun will set
We looked to the west
Seeing the world
As only fading colors

I want to be a light
To show rainbows on your soul
You never saw before
And couldn't conceive

The stars at night
They tell every story
That's ever been
That will ever be

I want to be a light
A shimmer in your eyes
A glimmer of hope
A star you can wish on

A star will shine
The brightest in a constellation
A polestar
That you can follow home

I want to be a light
That it dissipates
The darkness in your soul
I want nothing more

I send my life into a vacuous void
A downward spiral
Because I want to
I send my spirit on trips across the universe
With no direction
Because I must do

And maybe I say too much
When the truth
I have always been afraid of silence

I send my light into the black hole
At the center of the galaxy
Because I can
I send my love to you
Hoping to be destroyed
I hope you understand

And maybe I want too much
Its only proof
I have always been afraid of nothing

I had to learn to love not loving you
I had to see your words as daggers
And your hands as claws
Such terrifying talons
Will no longer hold me
No longer my deleterious womb
No more my injurious tomb
Not a darkened porcelain moon
A negligent progenitor
I elect I have no mater
She is dead to me
While she breathes

You think someone had to find you
Wrapped tight in your fear and worry
You were waiting on someone to find you
When you found me
I wasn't looking
Only at ends and oblivion
But you came out from your pain
When you found me
And all the love you gave me
Was the only thing to save me
You feel like someone had to find you
When you found me

I'll be forever grateful
And I know you will be too
Because when you found me
I found you

I could say I love you a million times
I could say
But simply saying can not convey
My depth of feeling for you
I love you more than the plants love the sun
Or the tides the moon
I love you more than a rich man loves gold
I love you more than I love the world
The world I love because it brought me to you
I will show you I love you a million times
I will show
And my exhibition for your amusement
My reaching into your soul
I show you more than colors
I show you Rembrandt and Monet
These images are made in my heart
I see when I close my eyes
And when I look to the skies

I could never hide in shadows
Lurking and lingering
A wall flower
I could never blend in with the crowd
I could never wait for my moment
My mind says my moment is now
And if I fail
I could never be unhappy that I tried

I could never hide my anger
Seething and boiling
A volcano
I could never keep from erupting
I could never count backwards from ten
My mind says I've been wronged
So be wrong
I could never accept the damage done

I could never hide my hope
Growing and calling
A spring flower
I could never help but reach for the sun
I could never accept that this is all there is
My mind says something more
And I reach for more
I could never have my life be any other way

I could never hide my love
Sweet and binding
A summers morning
I could never keep from singing louder than the birds
I could never keep from you
My mind says my love will save you
I dont know if it can
I could never believe that it can't

I am young
I am alive
But I've already found my dying dream
The one I'll keep with me
For the rest of my days

To be where I want to be

To be alone with you

No longer sorrow
No longer darkness
I'm painting rainbows on a soul
That deserves nothing more
Than to live in light

I am young
I am alive
And I'm working everyday
To make sure on my death bed
I won't have a dying dream

But a living memory

Of when I was alone with you

The former artist formerly known as the artist formally known as the artist formerly known as Prince
Was always my proof that Minneapolis really is in outer space
Any one up for a game of basketball?
How about you and your friends versus me
And the revolution?

We have music in our souls
I have a torch I carry
A guiding light
So that I may find you
We have pain from lives before
And a belief
That when our heart stops
So do we

I had that dream last night
The same one as always
That I could fly to where you are
And hold you in my arms
While you smile in my eyes
And I live in yours
The clouds start to break
As warm rain
And we start to dance
Our naked bodies
Feeling
Only pleasure

We have music in our ears
Words only
In a melody
That means everything
I have a light I have to keep
To shine the way
And even clouds of grey
Make us lose our love of black

I had that dream last night
The one I told you about
Where we were dancing naked
In the rain
We danced the pain away
And retired to a peaceful place
Where the light was all we saw
And I slept with you
In a bed of feathers
Our bodies entwined
Becoming one
That our heartbeats become
Forever

You weren't alone when you got the news
Modern medicines waiting room blues
A stethascope doesn't know the way your heart beats
And science never found a reason why

Suffer begin

Voice in the night
When words are unspoken
Hands from the sky
Are ripping me open

Suffer begin

You're in room nine the third door on the left
You've been through the test and never know to expect
Sputum cytology, x-rays, and biopsy
You've never needed lungs to breathe

Suffer begin

Words in the night
About a body that's broken
Hands from the sky
Are ripping me open

He is a friend of mine
Suffer begin

I think of you always. I think of you and that is one of the few times I smile. Just to know that someone as amazing as you are exist, that I could be a part of your life. No matter the pains and sorrows I suffer, I find joy in that simple truth
I know you are in pain. I worry for you. I know this world has it's ways of being all too much at times, it can be for me too. I know, and you know I know.  And that is enough to help me be strong  even under the weight of this world I have to carry.
I just want to say, or I must say, because it was never a choice I made, it was the will of the fates. I love you more than I knew I could love anything. I love that it is your thoughts in my head, your words that I speak, your name on my lips. For you I find strength to do anything. And I will do anything just to show you how much you are loved. You are my dragonfly, the rising sun after a cold night. I'll be the biggest fool in the world, and be happy, because I am your fool. I hope these words reach you and give you peace. You should know how much you are loved.
Until I am holding you in my arms, I hold you in my dreams

Yours eternally
- Torin

Maybe she wants to be unhappy
Maybe its her greatest curse
As I pine and craft these lines
In so much forgettable verse
This meeting indelible
This longing incredible
These wrongs most regrettable
This distance in her mind

I close the sky
I bring the the clouds
I hold the sun
Just to crush it in my hands

You never have to pretend
Just be
You needn't open your eyes
To see
I'll love you always
Even if I can't show you
Even if I don't want to
Even if I don't know how

I jump the oceans
And swim endless roads
I'd cut off my feet
Just to walk beside you

You never have to pretend
Just be
And talk to me

Its my strength
In weakness
Its my hope
My blind faith
When I couldn't find god
But I still had demons
Who chase me
From building to building
They ride with me in cars
And block my view of the stars
If and when I chance to look for stars
Its my soul
Obdurate
When my body is weak
But too hard
To let the hands that hold me
Leave marks
I was always meant to be alone
I wasn't made to love
And every time I cry for help
No one hears me

I wrote a beautiful song
And sent it your direction
Because I want my art to be lost
In the abyss

You say your always there
But you were never here
You say you're listening
I know that no one hears me

$$$$$$
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Is
¢¢¢¢¢¢
Enough at least
To buy apocalypse


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Why do I die so much?
Its distorted constellations
Dissonant sounds
The joke was always funny
But I forgot to laugh
I never had to learn how to die
I just did everything for you

My favorite song is a sad one

Why do I die so much?
Its my joy diluted
My eyes dialated
I watch poison course my veins
But I couldn't feel high
I want to live forever
But I keep giving my life for you

My favorite song is a sad one

The moon rushes in
With her salted jeans
And I'm on her darker side
I could have gone a life
Without seeing her again

I remember so much
Like I can still feel it
Her voice was music
My porcelain moon
That shattered my heart

She told me once I was her sunshine

The moon only wanes
With her make-up on
I try to run away
But even in the day time
She still finds me

She smiled at me
But never said a word
And my burning glance
The look in my eyes
Said stay away

She told me once I was her sunshine

She showed me once that I was darkness