Curiosity.
Life changing at a rapid velocity.
The hypocrisy of an unjust philosophy
called democracy.

A nation reaching for the stars.
Finding life on mars.
Leaving the earth scarred
as if it's an old girlfriend
crying in her car while
he drives to the bar with the
new woman he's destined to mar.

It's pitiful
The common man is treated criminal
Speaking the truth gets you clinical
trials.  In the age of digital,
the biblical is still considered the
pivotal, principle foundation.

**This is an Idol-me-nation

More smoke than air in lungs if your a buyer.

More fire than water in blood if your a writer!

 It's 4am, settle down, your not tired?

All that caffeine will shorten the time before you expire!

                                                                                                                When the sun is up , I'm in my bed.

                                                                                                         When the moon is up, I'm out my head.

                                                                                                        Cabinets open, take the tie off the bread.

                                                                                                  Twisted close, my nickname's ***** thread.

Cans over here. Cans over there.

Can you get out your recycled chair?

Spinning around, rolling eye glare.

Perched on a throne in a 4 walled lair.

                                                                                                  Coordination of letters into a poetic diction.

                                                                                                      Separate each word like fact from fiction.

                                                                                                           Space things out; "and" "or" transition.

                                                                                                Correlate the points for a literary  prediction.

She rubs my back and
tummy when I am feeling
grumpy and upset

In my absence
My mind has been doing back-flips,
back-spins and hand-springs.

They really should be called head-springs.'

Off a spring board I began vaulting.
Trying to spin, tumble, turn des pairs
of thoughts stuck in the landing area

Threw a little french in there for ya.

Grasping at hysteria asymmetrically with sanity
must be stronger than anxiety. Like a glass coat, it blankets me
however you can see to the core, translucent rings of a tree.

Walking the balance beam
between life and suicide sporadically.
Being pushed on both sides by a jet stream

Surviving is a pipe dream because we are all dying.

Once again I am on the floor. However,
I am implored to look forward by poetic neighbors.
All I gotta do is knock on their door and they'll gladly give me a cup of esprit de corps.

*More french, Au revoir

Hunny in a hole, don't look down
Excitedly,pretending your understanding.
Forgotten in a daydream like I can't tell
Further into the ***, there might be cheese at the bottom
Accosted by dreams and fantasies
Lead them home with a whistle and a song
Uh oh, you ate it and threw it in the pit.
Must. Get. Out. Of. This. Jar.
Particular love for a bear and pig

If I'm going to hell at least I'll meet the devil with a smiling face.
I'm not ashamed, disgraced nor will I try to plead my case.
I'll embrace my throne of fire and brimstone with the grace.
The cyclone of living mistakes I'll be shown will encase my soul.

Truth be told, I look forward to the torture.
My hands being torn asunder for the hearts I've plundered.
My tongue should get cut out because it's really a butcher.
My mind will lose its complexity because, really, that's the best of me
And I'll be babbling like the people on reality T.v.

A piece of me will be taken violently
and slowly I'll lose my serenity
Until I'm helplessly watching my insanity
destroy the lives of those I hold dearly
But don't pity me, I walked down this path willingly.

I find solace in accepting the malice.
It's sort of like walking through a dark forest;
at least I know there's darkness.
At least I know I'm hopeless
At least I know I'm honest
The silence of my screaming soul will leave Satan astonished.

Between the headaches & heartbreaks
lives a man unaltered by mistakes

Every door in this place creaks,
shattering the silence of the empty echoing
of faucet leaks.

Drips are part of the  company I keep.
Along with drops, smoke trails and static details.
Fuzzy sounds penetrate the hell I face while asleep.

A text filled with monstrocities
Baffling
Babbling
Bleeding
The Horror in the Museum
Reeling
Writhing
Reducing
Poor Stephen...

Curiosity ate the cat

Spitting up the mucus lining
the back of my throat
binding my gag reflex
to every breath.

I hope I don't choke.

Stomach lining
forcing it's way up
and out my throat.
Sliding it's way back down
into my lungs.
Coughing and burning
my air ways. The pain is profound.

It looked like cold bbq sauce at first
but as the forced
contractions became less dispersed
Every thing became more clear.
Whiskey had put me here...

*It didn't hold you down and make you drink it.

Your blessed
with nothing less
than a poet's
verse and thoughts
of a person stressed
by fantasies and a mind possessed
with the dictionary
Body's hidden in the trees.
Spirit flowing with the breeze

Its nothing less
than light in a benighted city

Its nothing less
than beauty on a face blemished

You are nothing less
than the words you use.
they transcend death
and abuse
the evil in humanity's soul.
Your ideas are bold.
As you grow old remember,
your blessed with nothing less.

People always show their true intentions
if you pay attention.

Give
life and love.
Give
the labor of.
Give
food and home.
Give
day and gloam.
Give
patience in spill.
Give
wounds with squill.
Give
knowledge is known
Give
until they've grown

In here the record scratches.

I am lacking
a sufficient amount of peanut packing.
Lighting struck beach
shatters underneath
the footsteps of my thoughts.
Roo will have to wait
until tomorrow's date.
I apologize
to myself
for being distracted.
This series of thoughts
has become protracted
I am losing my point.
Owl will be redone
and this spool will be respun
The heart of what is meant
by my words will circumvent
my lack of inspiration.

I lay in the bathtub soaking
wet with water running
around my silhouette.  Shaking
as the washcloth smeared regrets
over my skin. The bubbles
give my sins a scent.

As I vent I leave the shower
running so my sobs
are the only thing drowning.
The constant tapping on my face
keeps me awake as I sink into
the various stews my mind creates.

Weights are lifted with pruning. Peeling
of dead skin keeps me from
reeling into depression. There is a harmonic
progression between the faucet and my face,
the scrubbing and my disgrace, the steam and
my own embrace.

I need this state. The decompression
from being bottled up, like a coke, with a smile
is worthwhile. It teaches me
that the expression of  weakness
is key in the building of a better Timothy.

There are days
Where my body lays
in
a position
reminiscent
of  1991.

She came to my door, tears streaming down her face.
In her blabbering, she only spoke six words clearly,
"I don't belong in this place"

As I led her inside
I noticed the blood streaming down her wrist
I cut my sentence short and replied

Silence and ice cream
Same thing I got when I tried to hang out.
At the bottom of the bowl I saw her face gleam.

We hadn't spoke since she spat "******"
As our connection  leaked into the air,
I whispered "murderer"

As she lay leaking through band-aids and bandages
The red made me think of love
and how the feeling of hate has it's balances

Across the street.
Opposite direction;
Conceit paved with concrete.
Flashback perception.
Across the street.

Anxiety and nicotine
Piercings and red hair
Cigarette guillotine.
One dred behind your ear.
Anxiety and nicotine

Strawberry blonde
Curly or locked?
Wizard's wand spawned
levitation Air blocked.
Strawberry blonde.

Fifteen minutes entwine conversation during dawn.
Sun makes mist noticeable.
As well as the dew.
Bubbles in glasses
mirror silence
with stillness

Write half-right about quarters twice;
worth 50 cents.
Half-right, write about quarters twice;
worth $1.

Half-hour
past fifteen. Sixteen
words written at a 45 degree
angle across seventeen sheets of paper.
45 minutes past the last
90 degree angle.

Underneath the head of his mother;
inside the pouch she uses as a cover.
Lives a boy whose  older brother is a tiger.

As they hop through the forest
the thump of their landing is the chorus.
There is no greater freedom than lack of a diaper.

There are many lessons to learn
in mother's worries and scorn.
Only of dreams can he be the provider.

The name came from fields.
Acres of humans forced to work until
They die or are killed.

The rhythm came from drums.
The ones you beat, slap and roll
Off the movement of a tongue.

The steps came from ancestors
Unknown. The only thing they left
Was a rhythm; the symbol
Of a throne, cloned  by those
Who do not know their history or home.

I use to be so full of life.
I wore vibrant colors
Tye-dyed
purples
greens
oranges
reds
blues
I wore a head full of dreadlocks
and inspiring thoughts
but
                      something
                    ­                                  went
                          ­                                                   wrong

I use to have this box
full of everything I regarded as sacred
I took it with me everywhere I went








I                                   the                                away.....
                ­put                                box
























­
















far away








up in the attic
hidden beneath
other boxes
covered with the dust
of several years,                                                          ­It hasn't even been one


As I searched through the attic
in search of something unrelated
I stubbed my toe on the box
I realized
I forgot                                                           ­     
the box was even there

and it all came back
a flood     with
a typhoon     accompanied by
a hurricane
Smashed against a hollow city

Overwhelmed by the sheer immensity of  it all

I












Just













cried















and
















cried




­
My hair is cut now.
I must remain within regulation
The colors have dulled
into charcoal grey
the same color my ashtray is stained with
the same color my shoes are
the same color my sweaters are
the same color of this website


THE SAME DULL COLOR

My socks match
white
black
green
grey               <<<<<< There it is again....

everything is 01010010011010010110010001101001011000110111010101101100011011110­1110101011100110000110100001010

yes that is 1 word.

heart = 0110100001100101011000010111001001110100
mind = 01101101011010010110111001100100


I use to live my life through the process of making memories
something that can not be measured
converted
defined
even though I did all three of those to it

That is why she left
and she left                           I started chuckling to myself
and she left

I
Me
the 9th letter of the English alphabet according to the rest of the world
changed
and I wasn't even aware of it
until it was over

I don't even recognize my laugh anymore...
or my dreams...

But I have my box

I tore it down
All of it
Everything that resembled Mr. Brown

His clothes are in trash bags
The decor in pieces
Desecrated all of his flags

"Mr. Brown, don't ever show your face around,
or I'll put you in a coffin." I said
He looked confused as I pronounced Bob Marley lyrics in a way profound

" I do not blame you, but myself,
for the day you came in
I put my soul on a shelf"

"You are contorted and misconstrued
there is nothing but darkness
in the life around you"

He seethed with fury.
The kind I had when I was a child
He spoke shortly, yet with a dramatic flurry.

" You may send me away," he spat
I tried to contain my fear
"But you know as well as I do, I'll return and it won't be for a chat"

A sudden calm washed over me.
And I said with a devious smile
"Last time I let you. The next time I won't let be"

His coal black eyes perfectly matched his mouth; agape
as he stood stunned. A painting of disbelief.
I escorted him to the exit and sealed it with duct tape

*because duct tape fixes everything

It's cold outside.
I found a box
to hold within complacent thoughts,
outrages and jealousies.
Firewood to keep me warm.
Labels on the things I sought.
I'm seeking
the definition of what
why and how words are wrought
My raddled mind
latches on
to the slightest runaway fantasy.
As if reality
is a scorned
lover who refuses to dance with me,
declining my apologies.
My dearest paramour
return to me.

All I know is what other people describe.
Butterflies in your tummy.
Sunshine on a cloudy day
But I... oh I...
I think differently than
picturesque realities.
It must be. It has to, you see.
For I, you, me, we, us and this
is merely a physical expression
of our emotional bliss.
So when I say love, I don't think of doves
or an end-of-the-date kiss.
I think of the times when your away
and I have no way to say
or express my distress
other than multiple texts
saying "hey" and smiley faces
I sprinkle throughout your day.

Round little orbs roll
across the sidewalk, crashing
into another

Lets take time to think
and drink.
Take a break
from the proverbial rake.
Enjoy the seeds
grown into trees.
For the sweetness of the fruit
stems from the root.

I am left with shreds of memories.
The time spent in solitude
with you proves
only one thing.

Little instances held onto
like a child's hand dangling
from a cliff.
Sweat mingles and loosens our grip.
Passionate.

We are losing,
Never mind, I am losing.

There's something about walking into an empty house
that puts my mind at peace.
Instead of a spouse,
there is a fan flowing on 1,2,3 beats.
Oscillating, turn-tabling,
air stagnant like frozen meat.
Simile.
smile,
Haha...it's supposed to be funny.
It was yummy 'till he
started Ralphing over the balcony.
But, his name is Anthony

I don't care.
He can't fall asleep here and
he won't be driving.
The music is cacophony
Turn the music down for the homie!

The silence is so sweet.
Stumbling into the back car seat.
Oh ef Wolf Ge
Stop lights switch with the beat. Obsolete
keys scratch the lock; He's in the hot seat
Walking a few blocks to his homecoming.

We used to say " I love you";
Now we just think it.
The people we became
are an odd fit.
I will admit
I am no longer pleasant
to be around.
Constant scowls and frowns
amidst the silence.
The clicks of keyboards
divide us.
Define us.
Align us.
We used be to analogous
like Bubble gum Princess
and Finn.
Just like them we've become unakin.
Padme & Anakin.
My fear of loosing you has caused me to loose you.
Like an episode of That's So Raven;
attempts at the prevention
of the future
ripped open the sutures
in my heart once again.

There are things in my head
which don't make sense
I feel blessed and cursed
in the same sentence
I'm a menace
constantly forgetting where I placed my penance
like nobodies business
I wail like a ghost
because life escapes my grasp.
Like wet fingers holding onto a bar of soap.
I'm slipping and stumbling
swearing up and down it isn't me.
Like when you ask a drunk if they are
being what the world sees.
Inconsolable.
Uncontrollable.
Kutisha plagues my dreams.

We held hands as time's sand
passed between. Night chocked
the last sun beams. Our conversation
was pertinent to the dwindling
red wine bottle. As the moon glazed
shore began to roar, she whispered
"Let's cuddle." I dropped you, holding her,
and thought "Oh" and began to coddle.

I wrapped myself around her like a shell to a turtle
and she began to nestle on my chest. I guessed
the indigestion came from the Bordeaux bottom.
Boy, was I wrong. See, as I lay with her,
forgetting about you, I remembered
blood is thicker than water. The loves
we choose are stronger than ones
We've fallen into. I wasn't falling there,
underneath the stars, next to the parked car.
I was laying. I was contemplating
as the wind was spraying the lake
into the air.

I came to the conclusion
I was in an illusion of  love.
Confounded by smoke and reflections
from movie magicians. She looked up
to me and I guess she could see
my reality crumbling in the breeze.
She asked if I was ok. My slight smile alluded
I was and we laid in love
until the sun's intrusion.

I really want to be as cool as you
But I only have one tattoo
well two.
They're black, I'm brown but my jeans are blue...

You like them where the sun shines
and some places it won't.
I've stopped giving you signs.
I know. Anxiety daunt.


Birds sing while my face is buried in books;
Your stumbling up and down stairs and tumbling in your mind.
There is a disagreement but I know how good looks.
Inclined to be entwined where one may find the truth of mankind.
At least I want to be in there

But I am terrible with conversation.
You can see something is wrong with me.
I speak nervously in dilation.
My words are better read than said which is I write poetry.

It would be worst than the first rejection
So I'll admire you from afar.
Just an unspoken affection
to prevent the collision of worlds bizarre.

P.s This was supposed to come with a cookie but I ate it... I'm really sorry about that.

Lori,
Logan,
Jodi,
Jojo,
Hilda,
Weeping Willow
and **two Tims!

She is beautiful.
Not in the way of Helen of Troy.
Nor in the way Barbie is idolized.
No.
She is beautiful.
Like the sunset reflects
off a serene lake.
Like a breeze that grazes
the skin on a hot summer day.
Like a full moon that cuts through
a midnight fog.
Her beauty does not lead men to war.
Nor does it lead women to starve,
cut and make-up who they are.
No.
Her beauty demands attention,
inspires creation
and crumbles the prisons
of convention.

I want to show you the corners of the world.

A ghost use to be something I was.
I'd pop up, do some crazy stuff
and disappear, just because.

Even though my interactions were brief,
I changed the lives of the people I encountered.
Due to this, my disappearances caused much grief.

I've turned that nasty habit into something constructive.
A series of poems, the contents uncorrelated.
Still, the theme is reproductive.

They are all random thoughts and incomplete theories
A complex ball of conflicting emotions.
I'm talking, of course about my "Ghost" series!