today I felt sad,
so today I took a pill,
and my sadness turned into a dull numbness,
and sometimes the pill makes me laugh,
and either way it protects me from my thoughts that haunt,
but now it’s wearing off,
and I’m sad,
so I will take another pill.

and the cycle is never ending.

Karma chased me,
ripped off my legs so I could no longer run from my mistakes.
Karma burnt me,
and now I scream in pain for all the pain I've caused.
Karma hurt me,
but I guess I deserved it.

it hurts too much to remember you as a person,
so now i remember you as all the words i wrote about you,
the words i wrote for you,
and now it feels your existence will be forever tattooed onto my body,
in pretty words and stanzas full of love,
when nothing about us was pretty,
and nothing about what we had was love.

It's hard to think about my future,
When I'm trapped in my past,
Screaming for some freedom,
But no-one can help me,
I am the one with the keys.

the idea of getting better scares me,
because i have lived with this pain for years,
who will i be without it?
is there a person even left saving?
or has the fire burnt me too much,
and now all is left is a corpse,
choking on the ashy embers left behind.

i dipped my wings in ink,
and painted the sky with my trauma,
now everything is dark and i wonder,
will i ever see the sun again.

you played me like a cello,
at first i thought the sweet symphonies were beautiful,
a melody just for us,
but then the bow cut deep into my spine,
and bled me dry
and you continued to play.
i still think of your music to this day.
my scars still are on display.
how come it still sounds beautiful to my ears?