It's been 2 years
since we've stopped speaking
to each other
like it's all that's left to do

104 weeks
since I knew how I felt about you

730 days
since I thought about
never telling you how I felt

1051200 minutes
that were spent
on dwelling for what was
than acting for what could have been

63072000 seconds have passed
realizing nights are never long enough
to make myself realize that --
yes, I am through with you
because in the morning
when I wake up,
I'm hoping again

Two years -- and a glance my way
and I've figured that the only reason for the hollow in my chest
is because two brave years ago, I've decided to give you my heart
in the hopes of you doing the same, but what you did was take it in your hand and break it as she held your other

i have racked my mind
trying to figure this whole thing out
the staying, the going
the threads we claim hold us here
& the people who've stopped to play a tune on them
i sometimes relate it
to waking up in waist deep snow
in our former selves
the us we wish we could give one another
the children we've sat on the shelves
trapped, like the looks
we leave behind in snow globes
i sometimes imagine ships
dragging the bottom to the sea of "me"
for sleep & pieces of my old self
to sell to the new one
like history doesn't repeat itself
it gets me wondering
if you too want an apology from the rain
or if you dream of burning family photo albums
and wearing the ashes like perfume
if you're anything like me
how i hope god chokes
on memories of me blowing out candles as a child
i know i shouldn't reference my reader  
but don't you know, the only difference
between alone & lonely is you?
that if my hands could talk
the only thing they'd be able to say
is "dear god we've missed you"
and how can you tell me it isn't love
when even the rain refuses to fall
in places where i've kissed you
i remember the day
you found my smile at a yard sale
it reminds me of how you'll leave
i wonder if when you go
you'll tell yourself
the person in the rear view mirror
is closer than they appear