❝ ❞

     I was drowning in pain
     When you came.
     They aroused my fear
     And you wiped those tears.
     That moment of us
     Made me feel secure
     Even though we don't know each other.
     I shared my stories and you listened
     I cried all the time and you hugged me,
     virtually not literally.
     'Cause these happened in RPW.
     You became sweeter and sweeter.
     We became closer and closer.
     As the time passes by you still there
     Until the day you confessed at me,
     “ I'm starting to fall in love with you. ”
     I don't know but I feel the same
     way too.
     We had a relationship,
     Relationship that was stronger as
     friendship.
     But I always reminding myself,
     That once I fell deeper,
     There's a chance that I'll be broken.
     Once we fell deeper,
     We won't mind how this relationship
     works.
     Until the day of February 14,
     A day for a couple like us.
     Many friends asked us
     Do we really love each other?
     I said ‘ Yes ’ but you answered ‘ No ’.
     Those stories of
     “ I love you but it's RPW. ”
     You changed it and made it
     “ I love you because it's RPW. ”
     Once again, I became broken.

Fall deeper
And you'll be broken.
Not in the real world
But in role player world.

❝ ❞

      Forbidden to speak.
      Playing hide and seek.
      Who knows the reality,
      When they embrace falsity?
      Keep holding these fantasies
      If you question veracities.

People judge,
Truths were lodge
On their soul
Until the realization.

❝ ❞

   I was eighteen and he's twenty
    When we both found ourselves happy
    Together with no boundaries
    Like all the things were free.

    I was nineteen and he debuted.
    He had a party and he's so happy.
    We shared laughs
    And that gave me guts.

    I was twenty and he courted me
    For the reason that he loves me
    Of what I am and who I am.
    We both wanted to hold each other's arms.

    I was twenty two
    And he stopped courting me
    'Cause I already gave him
    The ‘ Yes ’ that he deserves.

    A years passed
    We're still happy.
    He brought me child
    And treated him as ours.

    I was twenty four
    And he proved me more.
    With our own family
    Living peacefully.

    I was twenty five
    And a lady came
    Shouting “ Where's my child? ”
    That made my child cried.

    “ You can't be a mother, b*tch! ”
    She shouted and made me realized
    “ Am I worth to be your mother, my child? ”
    Or it's meant for me to live with these lies.
    
    The truth that a gay like I
    Can't give a lil life
    Like a child I raised with all my might.
    Is this what a gay's life?

    Now, I'm thirty
    Living alone and feel pity.
    The guy I love left me
    With those words and it kills me.

    The child we raised
    Is the the result of what he did.
    The woman who came before
    And the man I love the most
    Is the parents of the child I love.



No one can hide the truth.
Yet truth *****.
Not all but most.

❝  ❞

    You have no love from above.
    What will you tell next?
    You have no happiness in life.
    What will you tell next?

    You must be crying now.
    You must be lonely now.
    But how can you still manage
    to smile
    Having those beautiful lies?

    Those tears that have been shed.
     Say these things with your heart.
     And feel the presence of the truth that
     These aren't just a beautiful lies.


“ Once, lies became beautiful. ”
  – Primo