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Dec 2021 · 155
Pretty lies
Kade Dec 2021
Im not perfect. Yes.. I know
I'm still scared of letting go
all the pain that's in the past
Makes it hard for joy to last
Take my hand and say im fine
I just need a bit more time
You say it might hurt right now
But you know I'll make it through somehow

Why do you lie to me
Say i never need to hide
Why do you cry for me
When It starts to hurt inside
I'm not broken im just bent
this ain't hurt words can prevent
Look me right inside the eyes
And keep on saying pretty lies

Eyes get dark I moved too quick
Show me food and I'll feel sick
Body aches and dizzy spells
Can't fix me im too unwell
Six different kinds of pills
The kind of pain that can ****
You say if only I try
But I think it's best you say goodbye

Why do you lie to me
Say that I will be alright
Why do you cry for me
When I can't fall asleep at night
I'm not heartless im just scared
That when I wake you won't be there
But I will take off my disguise
If you stop saying pretty lies

Heartache and a pounding head
Wasting away inside my bed
I mess up and push away
All the friends I'm scared won't stay
I use sleep as an escape
And hate the way my body's shaped
You say you'll stay when it hurts to breathe
But when things get too hard you leave

So please don't lie to me
Say that you will never leave
I know you cry for me
When I say I don't believe
That I'm worth the effort it takes
To fix the bruises and the breaks
But if you tell me one more time
I might believe your pretty lies
Im back I guess
Mar 2021 · 183
To Hell With It
Kade Mar 2021
I'm sick of my own mind
tired of being sad all the time
tired of never being able to sleep
and when I do it's never enough
One of these days I'm afraid
I'll  lay down and never get up

they give me meds but they barely work
and angry words only make it worse
I'd tell the truth but I'm too afraid
that those once kind eyes will fill with hate
I'm trying so hard I swear I am
but I'm too broken for you to understand

there's lines on my thighs that aren't easily explained
and I find it easy to ignore the hunger pains
I'm starving but I can't make myself eat
I  hate myself but love watching myself bleed
I say that I'm fine and put on a smile
But really I've been broken for quite a while

What the hell is wrong with me?
Feb 2021 · 85
I'm tired
Kade Feb 2021
I'm so tired

I just want to sleep

is it really a bad thing

To want to sleep

and sleep

And quite possibly

Never wake up?

To just close my eyes

And surrender

To the overwhelming fatigue

and weight of my eyelids

And stay in the darkness

Just let me sleep
Feb 2021 · 351
I'm fine I think
Kade Feb 2021
almost daily

get up too fast
i'm dizzy

Stomach growls
I'm not hungry

but I swear I'm fine

popping pills
To fix my head

it's getting harder
To leave my bed

all my demons
Want me dead

but I swear I'm fine

I'm fine
I'm fine
I'm fine

I think...
I don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore
Nov 2020 · 99
The Words I Cannot Say
Kade Nov 2020
Is it my fault or isn't it not
i dont't know.. i just can't get rid of this thought
even before it was said unto the air
the thought would follow me everywhere
maybe I could've been a better daughter
maybe I could've tried a little harder
to pull myself together and make her proud
or kept my mouth shut and been less loud
maybe if I hadn't been so annoying
then everyone here could still be enjoying
the gift that was her wonderful presence
but as it is her being gone represents
what a failure I am, I wasn't good enough
I didn't try hard enough to keep up
I couldn't be selfless and pull myself out
of the depression that's constantly dragging me down
so I piled even more on top of her shoulder
and now it's my fault that she won't get older..

or isn't it?
i don't know anymore I'm losing it....
this battle I'm fighting within myself
cause I'm still too scared to ask for help
I mean.. they know the basics of the problems
and they think they've figured out how to solve them
but there's this voice within me I'm scared to make known
I fear they won't understand that it's not really my own
it tells me troublesome and worrisome things
the more I force it out, the louder it sings
" no matter what you do you'll never be enough!
don't you think it's time that you just give up?
No-one would care if you just disappeared..."
and on and on it goes, voicing all the things I've feared

I'm just a bundle of crazy irrational thoughts
that scratch and poison my heart as it rots
stupid and ugly things that don't make sense
like: I don't deserve those clothes, I'm just a waste of expense...
and a small part of me knows they're not true
but a bigger part of me's tired of pushing through
like when my mood drops and it's hard to even eat
my stomach feels nauseous and my heart quickens its beat
my mind feels raw and my feelings are sensitive
even if the insults you give really aren't inventive
the smallest word you speak still cuts me deep
it's gotten to the point where I don't get enough sleep
I mean I sleep for hours & hours and yet when I wake
my eyes are still droopy and my whole body aches...

and I know I should say something about it
but I'm just too scared that they'll all just doubt it
I'm not making this up, it's all truth I swear
there's just too many monsters that scream "they won't care!"
it's a constant battle between reality and fiction
and I really feel that words aren't an accurate description
it's hard to focus and hard to concentrate
there's too many thoughts inside of my brain
it's complete and utter chaos morning and night
'till I run out of energy and start losing the fight
and I don't know what to do anymore...
so I guess this is my cry for help?
i dont know what to do anymore...
Oct 2020 · 60
what if im not ok?
Kade Oct 2020
what if i cut too deep
and your heart begins to bleed
cuz I couldn't take it
so I thought I had to leave
what if you're losing sleep
cuz I'm not around
to give you something
something to dream about
what if I forget
the promise that I made?...
what if I'm not ok?

I'm breaking down
I'm freaking out
I'm losing control
of myself now
and I just don't know what to do...
why does this happen when I think of you?...
just my continuous struggle with depression...
Oct 2020 · 52
Kade Oct 2020
there once was a girl
lost and afraid
she knew she was different
but was too scared to say
that it didn't feel right
always being called
the same things all the time
it just made her feel wrong

she and her and pretty little girl
she was soo confused
till a word came along
and changed her world
and she suddenly knew what to do
so she walked up to the boy she loved
smiled and lifted her head
crossed her fingers behind her back
laughed and then she said..

let me be your girl
your girlish boy tonight
and when the morning comes
I might just change my mind
let me be your boy
your boyish girl tonight
they might think it's wrong
but to me, it just feels right
so i hope that you understand...
and just when she was about to walk away
he grabbed her hand...

well time went by and things felt right
but then people came along
they told them that they'd burn in hell
*** the way they lived was "wrong"
and for a while, she would cry
tears running from her eyes
but one day her lover grabbed her hand
and said he had a surprise

he said he'd been thinking for a while
and he finally  realized
something about the things she described
about the way she felt sometimes
well somewhere in the back of his mind
he felt something just click
and so he said...

let me be your boy
your boyish girl tonight
and when the morning comes
I might just change my mind
let me be your girl
your girlish boy tonight
they might think it's wrong
but to me, it just feels right
so I know that you understand...

so they both said...
we don't care
you can stare
you can call us names
look at our hair
look everywhere
we're not playing your stupid games
it's our bodies
it's our choice
we're gonna stand
you'll hear our voice
cuz this is who we are
no, it doesn't matter what you think
cause baby, it's our choice
and we can be whatever we want
whether we're a girl or we're a boy

yeah, we can be whatever we want...
whether we're a girl or we're a boy

yeah, we can be whatever we want...
whether we're a girl or we're a boy...
a look from the eys of what it like to be genderfluid.. from my eyes as a genderfluid person... its a love story duet type song that I hope yall will like
Sep 2020 · 41
What it feels like..
Kade Sep 2020
Today I looked in the mirror
and I didn't recognize
the face staring back at me
with its cold and tired eyes
purple bags and messy hair
didn't sleep too well last night
lying eyes wide open in my bed
with no ******* end in sight...

now my demons chase me in the dark
running through my ****** up head
screaming out the hurtful things
that some of you have said
no matter how much I try
I can't rid them from my mind
so i scream and scream but nothing comes out...

and it all just feels like...
I wanna live
but I wanna die
I'm trapped again
inside my mind
Just give a sec
I'll be alright
Just give me a minute
and I'll be fine
but if you really know me...
then you know I'm lying...

tossing and turning in my sheets
can't seem to catch my breath
sweat is pouring down my back
but I'm still as cold as death
close my eyes and count to ten
try to calm my thoughts
i left my heart wide open again
and i guess this was the cost

i hurt myself again tonight
tho i said i wouldn't
tried to make myself drop the knife...
but i just couldn't
and my parents won't stop yelling
they're fighting cuz of me
tho I know that I'm not worth it
i just wish that I could breathe...
and it all just feels like...

and it all just feels like...
I wanna live
but I wanna die
I'm trapped again
inside my mind
Just give a sec
I'll be alright
Just give me a minute
and I'll be fine
but if you really know me...
then you know I'm lying...

im not alright
i wanna be fine
just wish i could
shut off my mind
and get to the point
where i cross the line
and im okay again...
but will that ever happen?

and it all just feels like...
and it all just feels like...
I wanna live
but I wanna die
I'm trapped again
inside my mind
Just give a sec
I'll be alright
Just give me a minute
and I'll be fine
but if you really know me...
then you know I'm lying...

yeah thats what it feels like
i wrote this after a friend gave me the idea.. the parents part is past tense but I've been there.. all of this is something I've felt at one point or continue to feel
Sep 2020 · 49
anxious love
Kade Sep 2020
we were just friends but I wanted more
couldn't look at you the same anymore
i was too scared to tell you how i felt
like how your eyes on me made me wanna melt
I had these feelings i wished you felt too
so i was too scared to see i was losing you
now im sitting here quietly missing my friend
and my anxiety is all i have left

it takes a hold of me
squeezing my lungs
pulling me tight until i just can't breathe
it leaves me crying
whatd i do wrong
what should i do now
it feels like im dying
look at what youve done to me
to me and my anxiety

feeling lonely without you tonight
now that youre gone nothing feels right
I could deal with the pain when we were hanging out
but now that youre gone i just wanna shout
maybe im going insane
my body cant handle the pain
my brains on overdrive
dont think im gonna survive..
this anxiety.......

it takes a hold of me
squeezing my lungs
pulling me tight until i just can't breathe
it leaves me crying
whatd i do wrong
what should i do now
it feels like im dying
look at what youve done to me
its just me and my anxiety
welp this is a song i wrote with the help of a friend.. like it.. or don't.. I'm too depressed to care anymore
Aug 2020 · 49
Sleep My child
Kade Aug 2020
It's okay...
It's alright...
sleep my child
you'll be just fine...
just close your eyes
and sleep my child
escape the pain
for just a little while
i know its hard-
hard to believe
that its okay
to fall asleep
i know you're scared
that if you close your eyes
it'll be your fault
when someone dies
but you're not the reason
it wasn't your fault
but you can't keep them alive
with water and salt
so sleep my child
i'll hold you near
things will get better...
just trust me my dear
how i imagne someone who cared about me would talk to me
Aug 2020 · 63
a letter to the sad ones
Kade Aug 2020
Dear sad person,

Its okay

I know what its like to be sad

I know what its like to struggle beneath the weight of it

To try so hard time after time

To wish endlessly that you could just shrug your shoulders and it would all go away

I know what its like to wish that you could just sleep forever because your dreams just feel so much better than the reality

Its okay

I know it might be hard to believe..

But some day it will get better

And until it does

Remember.. I am here for you

Reach out to me and i will open my arms to you

I promise
Jul 2020 · 78
i hate what you do to me
Kade Jul 2020
why is it that after years
of being emotionally and
physically abused
by the woman
I was supposed to call my mother
that I still feel so broken
now that you're gone forever?
how? why?
is there something wrong with me?
to still love and miss you?
after all the ******* hell
you've put me thru...
I still miss you...
and for the life of me...
I have no ******* idea why...
whats wrong with me?
May 2020 · 78
who am i?
Kade May 2020
I don't know
who I am anymore
I think i was someone different once...
I had a purpose
I had a goal
but now I just feel stuck
I'm losing faith in myself
in the person, I aspire to be
losing touch with myself
and with reality
can't someone pull me back
from the ledge, I've perched upon?
remind me that the battle I fought
has already been won?
remind me that I'm not a bird
I can't just fling into the sky
remind me who I am?
exactly who am I?
who am I? I can't remember the person I used to be...
Mar 2020 · 84
Silly Little Dreamer
Kade Mar 2020
I've always had the biggest dreams
the biggest goals
ever since i was a little kid
everyone always told me i set the bar too high
but  i know i did
still they continued to tell me the same thing

silly little dreamer
they tell me
don't you know,
you're aiming much too high?
if you're not careful, they tell me
you just might find
while you've sat there and dreamt
your silly little dreams
the whole world has passed you by

and yet, while they stand there
and rebuke me
laughing all the while
silently i sit here listening
as they call me ridiculous
with naught on my face but a smile

don't you know, i say
i know i might never
reach all of those bars
but when i aim for the moon
and somehow fall short
i'll still land among the stars?

so i'll dream as big as i want to
there's no such thing as too high or far
there's never an end to what you can achieve
if you continue to raise the bar
silly little dreamers aren't silly at all
Mar 2020 · 165
Corona! Corona!
Kade Mar 2020
Corona! Corona!
We hate you! You stink!
We all try to wash you away in the sink,
If you were a drug,
I'm sure we'd all quit,
Corona! Corona!
You're a real piece of st!

We'd rather go out
and buy tons of food
or buy the last pack of tp
(which is really rude),
buy clorox and lysol,
and clean till it hurts ,
than risk catching you
'cause F
K, you're the worst!!

Corona! Corona!
you're last on our list,
we simply can't see
why you even exist,
if you just disappeared
you'd tickle us pink...
Corona! Corona!
we hate you! You stink!
a parody of the poem homework oh homework by :Jack Prelutsky
hope you like :)
Mar 2020 · 51
I need...
Kade Mar 2020
I– I don’t know…

I just need something.

I don’t know what it is

all I know is something’s missing

like there’s a part of me that’s gone,

like there’s this empty space,

like there’s a little piece of me,

I somehow just misplaced…

I– I don’t know

I’m not sure what to do.

I know I’m missing SOMETHING

but as to what, I have no clue…

there’s just this voice inside of me

that urges me to look

to do my best to find something

to fit the piece that someone took

I just feel this ache in my heart

I just want to be held tight

by someone who loves me

and can tell me it’s alright…

and maybe… they could help me…

heal my scars before they bleed…

maybe they can help me figure out

what it is that I need…
sometimes... you just need something and maybe you dont know what it is.. but you know somethings missing.. you know?
Mar 2020 · 64
mechanics of my body
Kade Mar 2020

in my head, they’re racing

while in my heart

the demons are pacing

rattling my bones

now my back is aching

from the battles, I’ve fought

when there was no escaping

I pushed and pulled my way through

stitching myself up

when I ran out of glue

always without choice

never had a say

when you have no voice

how can things be okay?
Mar 2020 · 71
Things I Want...
Kade Mar 2020
to feel happy...
2. to feel loved...
3. to feel free...
4. to get a good night's sleep...
5. to not worry as much...
6. to feel beautiful... not look in a mirror and immediately look away because I hate the way I look...
8. to feel like my existence matters...
9. to help change the world...
10. to feel happy...

Seems simple enough, right?...

It's not.
Then again, nothing ever is...
Mar 2020 · 62
Why Can't I?
Kade Mar 2020
If the crisp autumn leaves
that fall swiftly from the trees
can be swept away on an October breeze...
why can't I?

If the bluebirds chirping happily
ever-present in the morning sky
at any time they wanted to
could spread their wings and fly...
why can't I?

Inside of me, there's a raging fire
that urges me to soar ever higher
as it threatens to consume me with its flaming desire
and I ache to get away...

yet, when in my ear the call of freedom rings
and I begin to stretch my eager wings
like a kite, the world yanks on my strings
and again I'm forced to stay...

"Why must you pull me back to earth?!
Why must you clip my wings?!", I cry,
"What harm have I caused to thee
or crime have I committed to be
help captive here under lock and key
and left to watch the days go by?"

If I only had a single wish
I'd want to know not more than this...
if I wish for nothing more
than to spread my wings and fly...
then tell me why can't I?..."

please tell me... why can't I?
i'm not a bird... but that doesn't mean i can't fly... if only you granted me the chance.. if only you let me try...
Mar 2020 · 83
Happy Birthday To Me...
Kade Mar 2020
According to these papers,
I was born upon this day.
I'm "officially" one year older
but I just don't feel that way...

According to these numbers,
I turn seventeen today
I'm practically an adult now
and yet... I still don't feel that way...

I feel...
I feel like I'm six
insignificant and small...
except now there's no-one left here
to catch me when I fall

I feel...
I feel like I'm eight
sensitive and shy...
even now a single comment
is enough to make me cry

I feel...
I feel like I'm ten
too quick to give out trust...
excep now i've learned to grab whoever's left
before they leave me in the dust

I feel...
I feel like i'm twelve
my light's begun to flicker...
tired of people never listening
so I learned to talk a little quicker

I feel...
I feel like I'm 14
afraid and unsure...
hating the way I look and act
walking through life so insecure

I feel...
I feel like I'm sixteen
and i've begun to fade away...
walking through life with my shoulder's hunched
and crying more and more everyday

Do tell me I'm seventeen
you might believe that to be true
but i'm still a lonely little girl...
trying to fix herself...
with a bottle of glue...
my birthday is march 14th... but no one really remembers that unless i tell them... and sometimes i even forget myself...
Mar 2020 · 56
Kade Mar 2020
Every day it's the same routine
put on a smile that you don't mean
just so they won't know...

you hear the hurtful things they say
when your back is turned the other way...
and you start to feel cold...

you've got demons swarming in your mind
that it's a struggle just to keep inside
and you're losing sleep...

their voices haunt you in the dark
with hurtful words and sharp remarks
that never fail to cut you deep...

oh, you could break a million bones
or spend your entire life alone
and even get stabbed with a knife...

but none of these could compare
to a broken heart you can't repair
and the things that scar you for life...

because some things scar you for life...
because some things scar you for life...
Mar 2020 · 101
Forget me
Kade Mar 2020
pay me no mind
i'm just a figure in the background
don't waste your time
trying to spot me amidst the crowd
i think you'll find
it's better just to walk away now
i'll be alright
and eventually... i'll just be another face that you've forgotten about

once you forget me...
and let me fade to gray...
just forget me...
it's just better this way..
so please forget me--

forget me...
just forget me.. your life would be better if you didn't know me
Mar 2020 · 70
Life Isn't Hard...
Kade Mar 2020
"Life is hard."
I hear it all the time
but there's something about that sentence
that they're not getting right

Life isn't something you can touch
and it's not something you can see
it's something deep within us
that allows us to just... be

No, LIFE isn't hard
the word you're looking for is LIVE
See, living takes a lot of effort
that some people just can't give

It's not that we don't want to
or that we're not trying hard enough
it's just... sometimes the things we go through
make living kind of tough

From heartbreak to mistakes
or losing your best friend
the world is filled with heartache
that makes it harder to pretend...

Oh, I know we say we're fine
and that everything's just "swell"
but inside we're slowly drowning
and I'm not surprised that you can't tell

See, some of us are experts
at putting on a mask
like robots, we can nod our heads
and even smile when you ask

But if by chance you ever managed to
see beyond the words we say
you might glimpse the inner demons
that we battle every day

From self-hate to self-harm
and a variety of bad self-thoughts
sometimes, they just find their way to us
but sometimes it's what we're taught

Depression and Anxiety and unrelenting OCD
panic attacks and flashbacks and even PTSD
these aren't excuses we come up with
they're just harsh reality

It's not our fault we have them
they're not something that we choose
they're just the hands that we've been dealt
and aren't at liberty to refuse

So in honor of these silent soldiers
who walk through life invisibly scarred
the next time you want to say that phrase
remember... it's not LIFE but LIVING that's hard...
we all got our battles... no matter how small
Feb 2020 · 71
Don't walk away
Kade Feb 2020
(Verse 1)
Help me
I can't carry on like this
oh darling, without you
I've lost my purpose
when I was with you
it was like the stars had found their shine
I just don't know what I 'ma do without you in my life

(Verse 2)
I trusted you
with all my broken pieces
but you took my heart and left me
all alone and speechless
You gave me all theses promises
said you wouldn't let me hurt no more
but you took those pretty lies of yours
and walked right out the door...

Still, here I am...
crying on my knees
feeling so ashamed of
all my desperate pleas
you'd already made your mind up
but i still begged you helplessly
baby darling please please please...
don't walk away from me

(Verse 3)
I can't breathe
feels like i'm drowning all the time
all the signs that you were sending
made me believe that you were mine
it's like you were the fire and i was the moth
I couldn't help but be drawn in
time after time I said I wouldn't get burnt
but here I am again...

Still, here I am...
crying on my knees
feeling so ashamed of
all my desperate pleas
you'd already made your mind up
but i still begged you helplessly
baby darling please please please...
don't walk away from me...

(Bridge... I think?)
oh.. i'm broken
down crying
yeah, my tears are falling like rain
you don't want me
but I want you
and that's what's causing me this pain
Oh I brought you flowers
gave you all my hours
but you still backed up all your things
and even though i begged you...
begged you not to leave
you still walked away from me...
hey guys and gals!! i just wanted to let you know that this was inspired by a poem called broken by our very own larry marshall... i was given permission to take his poem and attempt to turn it into a song.. and i went ahead and did just that.. i hope y['all like it and i just want to say thank you to larry for the opportunity to create this... i hope ya'' like it!!!!
Jan 2020 · 86
I just want to be happy
Kade Jan 2020
"I just want to be happy,"
I said, as tears fell down my face
I just want to be happy
and get the hell out of this place.

I just want to be happy
but I know I'll never feel that here
in this place where love is scarcely shown
and most time is spent in fear...

I just want to be happy
I don't wanna measure up
to some stupid freaking standards
that society made up

I just want to be happy
I just want to feel free
I just want to feel secure...
like I can actually be me

I want to lay down my burden
kick my heels up & relax...
I just want to be happy...
Is that too much to ask?
Happiness seems to evade me at every turn... stupid me...I forget...I'm not meant to be happy...when will I ever learn?
Jan 2020 · 55
Drawing Lines
Kade Jan 2020
It's nighttime now...
the sun has said its goodbyes
and disappeared beneath the ground
as the moon rises in a coal-black sky
and the beauty of the stars
is blurred by the water in my eyes
I lay here...
with tears running down my face
my breathing ragged
as I try to calm my racing thoughts
and battle the tsunami inside
carrying monsters
with all-too-familiar names...
low esteem
telling me lie after lie
but like the idiot i am
i listen...
you're ugly
no one likes you
you're weird
you'll never fit in
you're not good enough
you're not perfect enough
you're not pretty enough
you're not smart enough
you're not tall enough
you're not girly enough
you're not cool enough
you're not enough...
I can't take it!
it's too much for me!
can't you understand?
this is the only way...
this is all I know..
when the pain inside is too great
I grab my paintbrush of destruction...
and I start drawing lines...
short lines
long lines
deep lines
shallow lines
straight lines
jagged lines
after line...
after line...
until I can breathe again
and just sit
and calmly watch
as the lines begin to bleed
spilling dark, ruby-red ink
MY ruby-red ink...
all over the bedsheets...
and I think:
What a beautiful masterpiece...
as my tired eyes begin to close...
and I finally drift off to sleep...
Dec 2019 · 104
Dear Mom, I'm Sorry...
Kade Dec 2019
I know you don't believe me anymore
but I still want to say it.
So, here goes... I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for letting you down, time after time.
I'm sorry for repeating the same mistakes, over and over.
I'm sorry for not trying hard enough to get straight A's.
I'm sorry for thinking that A's & B's were good enough.
I'm sorry for not having any common sense.
I'm sorry for being hard-headed & stubborn.
I'm sorry for being passive-aggressive without meaning to.
I'm sorry for not being mature enough for my age.
I'm sorry for breaking the rules.
I'm sorry for going through the fridge without permission and eating food that doesn't belong to me.
I'm sorry for occasionally taking things that aren't mine from around the house because no one uses them anymore.
I'm sorry that I'm not as angelic as my little sisters.
I'm sorry for all the headaches I've given you.
I'm sorry for all the fights I've caused between you and Dad.
I'm sorry for being a disappointment.
I'm sorry that I like to watch TV.
I'm sorry that I get distracted easily.
I'm sorry that you think I'm weird.
I'm sorry for how I look when I take a picture.
I'm sorry for having an uncontrollable habit that led to me creating scars all over my face.
I'm sorry for having depression and anxiety.
I'm sorry that I have ADHD that I don't know how to control.
I'm sorry that I don't fit in anywhere.
I'm sorry for spending 12 of my 16 years of life trying to make you as proud of me as possible, but instead making you count the days until my 18th birthday so I won't be your problem anymore.
I'm sorry for being a horrible person in your eyes.
I'm sorry that you think I'm heartless because I never cry in front of you.
I'm sorry that you think I don't care about anyone or anything.
But most of all,  I'm sorry that you think that this is actually who I am...
I'm sorry for never reaching your crazy standards and for never being good enough.
I guess... I'm sorry for being human.
Dec 2019 · 94
the other shoe
Kade Dec 2019
they think they know
what my life is like
but they don't sit here
listening to their parents' fight
praying for it to end
while they argue past midnight
trying  my hardest to pretend
that things will be alright
but knowing they won't
cuz you can't fix something
that was never even whole
to start with...
and when they do get along
you're not happy, you're scared
you hold your breath
and make sure to stay aware
cuz it never lasts long
and once they start they won't stop
so you sit and just wait
for the other shoe to drop...
Dec 2019 · 131
Boys can cry too...
Kade Dec 2019
" We need to stop raising boys to think that they need to prove their masculinity by being controlling or not showing emotion or by not being little girls." (-Gloria Steinem)

I'm tired of people saying
that boys should never cry
crying is part of feeling--
which we should never deny
boys can be hurt
and boys can bleed
and sometimes crying
is just something they need
it doesn't make them girly
or any bit less strong
it just proves they have a heart
so how can it be wrong?
if having a heart
and showing it means
that you're not good enough
or you're thought of as weak
then quite honestly
i really don't think
i'd like to be a part of
this society
So cry all you want boys...
it's okay...
Dec 2019 · 98
Kade Dec 2019
I can feel it
it rips at the walls
around my heart
desperate to be let in
so it can tear me apart
it claws
at the doors of my mind
screaming its battle cries
determined to get in
it tries
and tries
and tries
not only my pain
but the pain
of a thousand different souls
each of them furtively
trying to become whole
everywhere I go I feel it
like a presence in the air
pain so great
and sorrowful
it brings one to despair
I feel it in the street
I feel it in the store
I only wish
I didn't have to
feel it anymore...

not one
but a thousand
my demons
your demons
and everyone's
i can feel your pain
Dec 2019 · 99
You Don't Know
Kade Dec 2019
See that girl over there?
black hoodie? ripped jeans?
with her black lipstick,
you call her different
but if you looked behind the scenes...

then you'd know that all of it...
is just a mask that she wears
to keep her hands from shaking
so no one sees her breaking
cuz she feels like nobody cares...

and that boy in the corner?
who always sits alone?
he doesn't sleep most nights
and gets in a lot of fights
but if you saw how things were at home...

then you'd know that all of it...
is just part of how he deals
with the anger that burns deep
and doesn't let him sleep
and the pain & the heartache he feels...

still, you continue to judge
when you don't know all these things...
like the scars that she's hiding
the demons he's fighting
or how they ache to spread their wings...

you don't know the battles
that they go through every day
with the monsters deep inside
and the people in their life
who they wish would just go away...

and if you don't know...
then maybe you shouldn't treat them that way
you never know... the battles they juggle
or the way that they struggle
might be yours to go through someday...
if you don't know, then don't judge. a philosophy, i think everyone should live their lives by.
Dec 2019 · 901
Kade Dec 2019
"It's okay to be a glowstick. Sometimes you have to break before you can shine."

you can call me names
you can make me cry
but all the things you do
only help me learn to fly

you can call me stupid
say I just don't got a clue
but you're the one who's clueless
of the things that I've been through

But go ahead & try to hurt me
I've got a secret you don't know
anytime somebody breaks me
like a glowstick, they make me glow

So just try to bring me down
go ahead and cross that line
and just like any other glowstick
you'll only make me shine
Please let me know if you like it! Feedback of any kind is always welcome and extremely appreciated!!!!
Dec 2019 · 109
You Are Enough
Kade Dec 2019
" Take a deep breath, smile, & know that you are enough."

Close your eyes
and take a deep breath
ignore all the voices
inside of your head
don't listen to a thing they say...

just pick your head up
and keep moving through
they don't know who you are
but honey-- I do
and i know that you'll be okay...

I know that you're scared
of failing to reach
the goals that they set...
who they want you to be...
but when it all gets to be too much...

just put on a smile
and let it all go
you'll make it, I swear
as long as you know
that what they think
doesn't amount to a thing
cuz you are more than enough
if you like, please let me know! feedback of any kind is always appreciated!!!!
Nov 2019 · 99
Mirror, Mirror
Kade Nov 2019
" We are all born so beautiful. The greatest tragedy is being convinced we are not."

Once upon a time
there were things I did not see
I was completely blinded to
the beauty in front of me...

See, every morning
I'd look at my reflection
I never saw the beauty there
I only saw the imperfection
The mirror told me things
and like a fool, what did I do?
I hung onto every lie it said
convinced that they were true...

But they weren't...
the mirror had lied
I wasn't ugly...
I had beauty INSIDE!
I only had to stop
and step away from the mirror
That was all it took
for my vision to get clearer

So I'll throw away the mirror
stand back and watch it shatter
'cuz I'm perfectly imperfect
and to me...
that's all that will EVER matter
shout out to all the guys and gals that don't think they're good enough. you are perfect the way you are and you should never try to change that!!!!
Nov 2019 · 87
Kade Nov 2019
“When I say I can’t take on even one more thing, I really need you to understand I really just can’t.” (Christine L Hauck)

every hour…

every day…

you follow me so closely

and I just can’t breakaway

everything I say…

everything I do…

it’s always be controlled

by you, you, YOU!

the pressure you put on me…

I just can’t take it!

I’m sick of the burden

and tired of faking it!

I’ll never be perfect

that’s what mistakes are for

I give you everything I am

but all you want is more!

the weight is too heavy

when you ask for so much

one day I’ll fall

and I know I’ll be crushed

because the pressure you place

on top of my shoulder…

might just be what kills me

when I finally get older…
please let me know if you like it by liking it and comment on what you think! or, if you can relate, please let me know!
Nov 2019 · 105
Kade Nov 2019
“Depression is feeling like you’ve lost something but having no clue when or where you last had it. Then one day you realize what you lost is yourself.”

I think I’m losing myself

don’t know what choice to make

I can feel myself drifting

with every little step, I take

it’s getting harder to focus

and harder to concentrate

just hoping someone pulls me back

before it becomes too late

and I’m completely lost

or I’ve drifted too far away…

I just want to feel connected!

I just want to FEEL, okay?!
based on a quote hope y'all like!
Nov 2019 · 120
Sandpaper people
Kade Nov 2019
“When people hurt you over and over, think of them like sandpaper. They may scratch and hurt you a bit, but in the end, you end up polished and they end up useless.”(― Andy Biersack)

burn me, scratch me, hurt me…

I don’t give a ****

cuz all the hurtful things you do

only make me who I am

you can try to put me down

or call me an ugly name

but no matter what you do to me

you’ll never win this game

cuz I’m a diamond in the rough

I’ll sparkle through it all

and no matter what you put me through

you’ll never make me fall!
again based on a fav quote... I hope y'all like it and tell me what you think!
Nov 2019 · 150
I CAN hear you...
Kade Nov 2019
“People don’t tell me what I need to hear. I listen to the unsaid words, observe quietly, read the unspoken words between the lines. The words they think they hide from me. This kind of listening is an art in itself.”

you whisper hurtful words

around the corner … down the hall

you think, “what she doesn’t know can’t hurt her”

but you’re not there to see me fall

cuz I know what you’re not saying

and I hear what you won’t tell

I see through your disguise

so I won’t buy what you’re trying to sell

I hear the hidden secrets

I see the guarded faces

I can read between the lines

and see between the spaces

I don’t need you to lie to me

or try to hide what you really feel

cuz I’m tired of all the fakers

and I’m yearning to know what’s real…
also inspired by one of my favorite quotes hope y'all like it! let me know what y'all think!!!!
Nov 2019 · 481
A minute to love you
Kade Nov 2019
“If I only had one minute to live, I would spend all sixty seconds telling you how much I love you.”

60 seconds

it may not seem like much

but that was all the time it took for me to melt beneath your touch

60 seconds

held underneath your gaze

you completely hypnotized my heart, then left me in a daze

60 seconds

just a fraction of my life

but standing there with you I realized I didn’t need any more time

60 seconds

thanking the stars above

that it was all the time it took for me to fall helplessly in love…
this was inspired by one of my favorite quotes. hope y'all like it!
Nov 2019 · 883
Kade Nov 2019
(soft guitar intro about 8 secs. at most)

VERSE 1 ( soft and slow)
cold hands and empty eyes
it hit you hard when you realized
that the world we live in ain't so wonderful...
you tried your best to help them heal their scars
but by yourself, you couldn't get that far
and the stress and sorrow started to take its toll...
but you should've known...

CHORUS ( medium-fast and passionate)
you don't gotta be like atlas
you don't gotta carry the weight of the earth
you don't gotta be like atlas
you don't gotta give until it hurts
Oh, when you're running out of strength to lend
and it's getting harder to pretend
you don't gotta be like atla-a-a-as
as long as you've. got. me. as a friend...

(5 sec. guitar break)

VERSE 2 (soft and slow again)
you look outside and there's so much to see
but it's all clouded by the poverty
and everything just seems to be so gray...
Yeah, you've seen so much but still try to be
the happy person that everyone needs
when inside you've begun to fade away...
oh, but you should've known...

BRIDGE ( fast and really passionate)
you don't gotta be like atlas
you don't gotta carry the weight of the earth
you don't gotta be like atlas
you don't gotta give until it hurts
just say the word and I'll be there
at any time, I'll go anywhere
so you won't have to be like atla-a-a-as
when I've got a shoulder to share
no, you won't have to be like atla-a-a-as
when I've got a shoulder to share

( 15 sec. guitar solo)

CHORUS ( softest yet and slow)
you don't gotta be like atlas
you don't gotta carry the weight of the earth
you don't gotta be like atlas
you don't gotta give until it hurts
Oh, when you're running out of strength to lend
and it's getting harder to pretend
you don't gotta be like atla-a-a-as
as long as you've. got. me. as a friend...
(soft but passionate)
no no no no!
you don't gotta be like atla-a-a-as
as long as you've. got. me. as a friend...
it's a song not a let me know what you guys think!!!! anybody like it yes no maybe so
Nov 2019 · 84
No more you and i
Kade Nov 2019
the countdown has started...
I'm running out of time...
to find the broken pieces
of this fragile heart of mine
yeah, I know that I could fix it
if I decided to try
but sitting here without you
I can't find a reason why...

I gave you the keys...
to the lock around my heart...
hoping and praying
you wouldn't tear me apart
I gave you my everything
my heart was yours to take
but you took this heart
made out of glass and smashed it
like it was yours to break...

but now you..won't ever have a clue
of what you did to me
the way you made me bleed
no, you...won't see how the things you do
hurt me to the core...
baby I can't take it anymore
so, please... just stop your apologies...
you don't mean them anyway
and I've got nothing left to say
except goodbye...
now that there's no more you and i

my skin is cold as ice
i'm freezing to the touch
missing your pretty smile
'cuz it warmed me so much
And the silence is deafening!
it's crashing through my head!
can't stop myself from thinking
about all the things you said...

you told me that you loved me
you told me that you cared
you told me not to worry
'cuz you'd always be right there
and I know I shouldn't have listened
should've walked right out the door
but then you called me beautiful...
and I felt something
that I've never felt before...

but now you..won't ever have a clue
of what you did to me
the way you made me bleed
no, you...won't see how the things you do
hurt me to the core...
baby, I can't take it anymore
so, please... just stop your apologies...
you don't mean them anyway
and I've got nothing left to say
except goodbye...
now that there's no more you and i

no, no, no, no, no, no,
There's no more you and i
this is a song, not a poem. hope y'all like it anyway! comment with your opinions, please!!!
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