i'm taking in your scent that still lingers against my hands
before i go to sleep,
to remind me one last time of the day i had with you,
and to pretend you're here whispering goodnight
with soft protective arms wrapped around me.

half the time reality feels like a dream
or maybe I just wish it was.

A lot of my problems
Lie deep down
They're nearly impossible to find

My value of life
For the time I nearly died
Disembodied by a train
I was merely seconds away

My fear of people
Reflects each time I was
Burned in my life
And I quickly learned
That one can only trust themselves
And people let you down

My numbness
Like a void
From all the tragedy I've faced
Losing the man I loved at 15
And all the abuse

My love for the darkness
Came over like a sickness
For, colors, make me burn
Reminds me of all the funerals
All the dead loved ones

I reflect upon everything
And wonder why
I am a warped human inside