What an anomaly; Time, is it not?
Like a cold burning flame or ice that is hot,
It is hard to explain, but observant am I.
Time is an illusion to the untrained eye.

Isn't it odd how it seems to stand still,
Or diminish in haste along with one's will,
When the desire is lost or the flame has grown weak,
In search of life's treasures or whatever you seek?

By our own human rules, time does not abide.
Time is most valuable when not on your side.
Time is alone, neutral, and mute.
Life is a tree and time is its fruit.

Tales have been told of a fountain of youth,
And the men who went in search of its truth.
The truth is that life becomes obsolete,
When our journey through life remains incomplete.

Time is a but a concept of the brilliant human mind.
Time is an illusion to all of mankind.
Time remains still, quiet and whole.
Life's an adventure and death is our goal.

In an infinite universe, time will not last.
The future; unwritten. Forgotten; the past.
Life is the present and all life must end.
This is the truth that I choose to contend.

I wish for one night, everyone could see,
What lies inside my heart. What lies within me.
It's the truth! Unwithered, but hidden for years.
Pain, sadness, and all of my fears.

Pain.
From every single girl that didn't give me a chance.
From all the ones who laughed when I asked them to a dance
From all the ones to told me, "I don't see you that way."
From all the times I thought, "I'll **** myself today."
The pain never goes away.

Sadness
From all the girls who called me, "ugly" and meant every word.
From all the girls I want, but I know I'll never have.
From the countless times that I've tried to show them who I am.
From all the times I was left behind for someone I can't be.
I curse everyday that I am me.

Fear.
Is me in the future, dying all alone.
Without someone to love me, or even call my own.
Death is no longer at the top of my list.
He would be my savior from this life that I live.
What a curse it is to be me.

Unwanted because I'm ugly.
Unwanted because I'm nice.
Unwanted because there's others.
Unwanted because of who I am.
Have you ever wished for day,
That you could be someone else?
Anybody but you.
Anybody but yourself.

Everyday.
Every **** day.
I just wish I could be them.
The ones who are always wanted.
The ones who are always loved.

I spend my whole life wishing that maybe,

Just maybe...

For just one girl....

That I could be enough.

Should you forget that smile that you wear,
So lovely and warm, at home,
Remember these words, you kind-hearted soul.
Happiness lies where you roam

It lies in your heart, and it's up to you,
To brighten up the day.
To help out a stranger, a friend, or a neighbor.
Kindness goes a long way.

Just help an old lady crossing the street,
Ask her, "What's your name?"
Give her a hug, and show her your smile.
Trust me, she'll do the same.

Smile at a person that you think is cute,
And even if they glare,
Give em' a wave and continue your day.
A smile is something to share.

And don't be afraid to make weird faces,
At a baby, or a kid.
Just remember to smile and play for a while.
They'll remember what you did.

We are all human and life is quite short,
So enjoy it for a while.
Seize the day! Be on your way!
*Just don't forget to smile.

My hands,
Idle hands.
Empty and soft;
Harmless, don't you think?

Take a second thought;
What have they done?
These hands,
Idle hands.

From palm to palm,
He marks them red,
And then he gets,
Inside your head.

The Devil dwells,
In silent minds.
What you will seek,
You should not find.

Before you know,
Your mind will go.
Your deal is sealed,
The curse will show.

Your hands,
Idle hands.
The Devil roams,
Unseen by all.

But now you know,
The Devil's code.
Our hands.
Idle hands.

What dreaded curse has engulfed us all?
Surrounded by those who need us the most.
Their eyes are hollow and their words are empty,
As they call to their neighbors for a helping hand.

A man who is trapped by the vice of addiction,
Cursed to perish from this horrid affliction.
A pregnant young girl who is eating for two,
Abandoned by love she believed had come true.

They still bear smiles from time to time,
But we put them down for who they have become.
We judge them and scorn them for what they have done.
But we are the ones that did this to them.

Our way of life has destroyed many dreams.
Competive nature in its very seams.
Selfish in nature, no problems equate.
On the words I held back, I will suffocate.

So many times I've reached out a hand,
But changed my own mind in exchange for my pride.
I've held my chin high to ignore those below,
And I have become a part of the norm.

I playfully imagine sewing my eyes shut,
As frustration and anger rise within.
The solace I sought was a battle away,
So I lay in my sheets and accept my defeat.

To win such a battle would come a reward,
That all equal men accept every night.
To lay my own head upon a soft bed,
And drift off to sleep as if I were dead.

To dream, any dream, that my heart could ever want.
To explore, see, venture, and try.
Yet here, eyes open, is where I now lie.
I beg the madness to answer me, "why?"

Am I doomed to be an owl of the night?
To lurk in the shadows of a waning moon?
Why is my escape unavailable to me?
How long will the nights continue to be this way?

It feels like my sanity is eroding away,
And the lack of rest is causing me pain.
The bags of my eyes grow heavy and full,
And I plead for a God to end it all soon.

I dream for a dream and I lust for sleep.
Just a minute of rest is all that I need.
Sleep is my master, for it controls me,
As I lie in these sheets; a man of defeat.

Few are quite willing to go off and fight,
The sadistic and evil, in the name of what's right.

But all of us struggle as we try to attain,
The lives that we thirst for amidst all the pain.

We live with decisions that often defy,
Our own moral codes on how to get by.
We search for so long, for what makes us strong,
for what makes us weak, and where we belong.

And just when we think that we've gone through it all,
That we've gained all the knowledge of what might befall,
Reality and Life return to their places,
Keeping us guessing and changing their paces.

Our minds and emotions like to play games,
and we search for our scapegoats in place of our blames.
With this, come frustrations that continue to grow,
Disrupting life's peace and life's even flow.

The scars from these battles are not easily shown.
Hidden as secrets; remaining unknown.

The battle within is the struggle of one.
In place of the many; in place of the gun.

The pride to my shame.
The fuel of my flame.
If life is a target,
Then you are my aim.
The calm to my storm.
The cool to my warm.
Together we fight,
Against all the norm.

You stand beside me,
And you help me see,
The infinite choices,
Of what I could be.
I'll stand beside you,
Happy or blue.
A living reminder,
Of all that is true.

You see on my face,
The pain and disgrace.
The remnants of guilt,
That I tried to erase.
In you, I confide.
All ******* aside.
When I am with you,
There's nothing to hide.

I see in your eyes,
Beneath the disguise,
The purest of hearts,
In fear of demise.
There's nothing to fear.
Though it isn't always clear,
Should you stray from your path,
I will always be near.

Our friendship is fate.
From the way that we prate,
I can tell our connection,
Will never abate.
Our lives, they conflate.
Our wisdoms equate.
Imagine the wonders,
That we can create.

The void has been filled.
This friendship, we build.
We look to the future;
The both of us thrilled.
So here I will stand,
In reach of your hand.
The greatest of friends,
In all of the land.

As I stared beyond the stars,
In the dark night sky,
My questions were answered,
With every breath, every sigh.

Was I losing my mind?
Where was my head?
Am I even living,
Or already dead?
Am I feeling the energy,
Of the power above?
What is the true meaning,
Of all that I love?

At the edge of the Universe,
I saw a reflection,
Of all my own memories,
In their own little section.
Then I fell off the edge,
Into a sea of dreams.
Tearing my reality,
From its very seams.

Then I snapped back to Earth,
And it was surreal.
No words to describe,
Just how I did feel.
My existence was fading,
And had become whole.
Absorbed by the cosmos,
I entered my soul.

What a journey, it was!
Oh, the things I did see.
I was one with the Universe,
And the Universe was me.

Playing back in my head,
The moments I dread.
Souvenirs of the past;
They refuse to be shed.

A second at last,
To sail at full mast.
To explore in my sleep,
My mind that is vast.

Deep in my dreams.
Strange as it seems,
The moments rush back,
Like white water streams.

Consumed by the black,
Like a ****** on smack,
Eden is gone,
Through the strength that I lack.

Weak as a fawn,
To the darkness, I'm drawn.
I painfully wait,
For the glimmer of dawn.

Since I was a boy, I've always been told,
That one who is selfless has a heart made of gold.
But I have discovered from the wise and the old;
Selflessness grows from the heart of the bold.

I offer advice to the ones I console,
Yet something is missing; my heart isn't whole.
Behind my own barrier, there lies a big hole.
Deeper than deep and right through my soul.

Would you like to know why?
Why I sulk and I sigh?
The pain in my heart leaves me wanting to die.
Helpless and lonely, no matter how hard I try.

I wake every day, without a scoff or a moan,
Faking my smiles with a face made of stone.
Within lies a man that is sad and alone.
Like a King without a Queen, a crown, or a throne.

To top it all off, there is this one girl.
One of a kind, like a precious pink pearl.
Whenever she smiles, my head's in a whirl.
Leaving me breathless and wanting to hurl.

I clench my fists when she mentions a date.
Leaving me angry and full of pure hate,
But in an unnoticed and quite subtle state.
If only she thought I was perfect and great.

Some call me stupid, others say cold.
Some even feel I deserve a good scold.
Say what you want, I'll never be sold.
Pain's a small price for the selfless and bold.

****, I'm really high.
Why did I bother getting ******?

****... I'm REALLY high...
The end of senior year is close!

****. Why did I get high?
**** held me back for a year...
Of sitting, and staring, and staring, and sitting,
And laughing my *** to tears.

The *** became a small escape.
Like Superman without his cape.
Or a homeless guy with a 40 oz drink.
****, what am I saying?!

****! I'm high.
There's work to do?
But **** that ****.
I'll chill for a bit.

And it's back to work for who?

Hopefully, my high ***.

What a world that I live in.
Oh my, have the times changed.
The 21st century, so glorious and new.
Society's changing and it's not well to do.

Strange religious cults that spew arguments of hate.
Condemning our soldiers, government, and state.

Young teenagers lust without a care in the world.
Ignorant to the consequences that can be deterred.
They give birth to lovely children whom they cannot feed.
Too busy partying and fueling their own need.
The need to feel loved, or young, or alive.
Consumed by desire and refusing to shrive.

With the presence of drugs, crime is on the rise.
The stealing, the killing, the fooling, the lies.
*******, ******, ****, Crack.
Young women are ***** by addicts in packs.
The corruption of those who swore to protect,
The very same people that they choose to neglect.

The big name companies make the products we buy.
Thirsting for money until we all die.
Some are expensive, others are cheap.
But all the big companies call us, "the sheep".
We follow the trends and lust for what's new.
Believing what they say even if it's not true.

I'm young and I'm curious; an observer of life.
Feeling the love, and avoiding the strife.

What a world that I live in.
How ugly can life be?
Because in all these sad truths, I see a reflection of me.
Living in in this world; the new turn of the century.

Skin that is as lovely as a warm summer day.
Lips as luscious as a fresh strawberry.
A body that Athena would loathe you for.
My desire for you burns like a shot of tequila.
Hands that are made to fit right into mine.
Arms that rest on the nape of my neck as we kiss.
Pulling me closer to the place I want to be.
The scent of your hair drives me madder than mad.
The rush of horomones that course through my veins.
As my lips find their way the side of your neck.
As my hands find their way to the small of your back.
As our faces touch and we feel what we have.
Mutual feelings of intensity that we cannot describe.
Your voice says you love me.
But your eyes say so much more.
The wall has come down and our feelings are pure.
Time has stopped and I've forgetten the world.
For all that exists at this very moment is us and our love.

In a world as complicated as humans themselves,
Perception is key for a guy like me.
A guy who looks in instead of looking out.
A person that's clueless as to what life's about.

Do we live for the money so that we may survive?
Or do we live for the good times with the laughs and the smiles?
Do we live for the love that we save for another?
Or do we live for our families as fathers and mothers?

Do we live for the ***, the drugs, and the pleasure?
Or do we live as sinners until Hell's frozen over?
Do we live for the power that we gain over peers?
Or do we live as followers, mindless sheep, or deer?

To these, I say nay, for I've discovered the truth.
To live is your choice, whatever you choose.
I live and I learn, I learn and I die,
Into the void, behind my own eyes.

And whatever may come after my last breath,
I shall not fear it for it isn't the end.
Whether it is or it isn't, I'll never be sure.
But whatever it is, I'm there to endure

Another cancer stick to fuel my addiction.
It's society's version of an acceptable affliction.
I love the buzz, the taste, the flavor.
It's like pills and uppers to a whacked out raver.
I enjoy a fine smoke, like now, or when I'm high,
Patiently waiting for death to come by.

Roll another joint, pack another bowl.
To be amongst the stars is my one true goal.
Up in the sky, far beyond the moon.
High as a kite, but coming down soon.
And when the fade's gone and the worries are back,
One big fat bowl is what we will pack.

Lucy in the sky? My, oh my.
She takes my hand and away we fly.
To another world where the body cannot go,
Where you wonder what's real and what isn't so.
The truths are revealed and new questions are found,
Eyes up at the sky and feet on the ground.

What divides me is the distance,
Between you and I.
It leaves me torn in two,
For all I want is to be with you.

We haven't shared a moment together,
Not a single second of time.
But just hearing your voice,
Is enough to have me wish you were mine.

Time goes on,
Yet we still haven't met.
My love is on hold until that day,
That I see your smile before me

I'll bask in your beauty,
And enjoy the time,
That the two of us spend together,
Silently hoping it will last forever.