Apathy. Cynicism. Envy. Shame.
Emotions that flood my thoughts day to day.
This darkness, This plague; It has hollowed my heart.
It has shattered my spirit and all feeling is lost.
This ghost has a name.

Regret.

Regret is the weight of the burden I bear.
It's all that I've lost when I said, "I don't care."
It's the lies that I forced myself to believe.
Opportunities I've lost in the name of ignorance.

I no longer remember who I see in the mirror.
A fellow, that I, have never seen before.
Is it him? Is it me? Was I blind, now I see?
The truth can be painful, but I must believe.

What an anomaly; Time, is it not?
Like a cold burning flame or ice that is hot,
It is hard to explain, but observant am I.
Time is an illusion to the untrained eye.

Isn't it odd how it seems to stand still,
Or diminish in haste along with one's will,
When the desire is lost or the flame has grown weak,
In search of life's treasures or whatever you seek?

By our own human rules, time does not abide.
Time is most valuable when not on your side.
Time is alone, neutral, and mute.
Life is a tree and time is its fruit.

Tales have been told of a fountain of youth,
And the men who went in search of its truth.
The truth is that life becomes obsolete,
When our journey through life remains incomplete.

Time is a but a concept of the brilliant human mind.
Time is an illusion to all of mankind.
Time remains still, quiet and whole.
Life's an adventure and death is our goal.

In an infinite universe, time will not last.
The future; unwritten. Forgotten; the past.
Life is the present and all life must end.
This is the truth that I choose to contend.

I wish for one night, everyone could see,
What lies inside my heart. What lies within me.
It's the truth! Unwithered, but hidden for years.
Pain, sadness, and all of my fears.

Pain.
From every single girl that didn't give me a chance.
From all the ones who laughed when I asked them to a dance
From all the ones to told me, "I don't see you that way."
From all the times I thought, "I'll **** myself today."
The pain never goes away.

Sadness
From all the girls who called me, "ugly" and meant every word.
From all the girls I want, but I know I'll never have.
From the countless times that I've tried to show them who I am.
From all the times I was left behind for someone I can't be.
I curse everyday that I am me.

Fear.
Is me in the future, dying all alone.
Without someone to love me, or even call my own.
Death is no longer at the top of my list.
He would be my savior from this life that I live.
What a curse it is to be me.

Unwanted because I'm ugly.
Unwanted because I'm nice.
Unwanted because there's others.
Unwanted because of who I am.
Have you ever wished for day,
That you could be someone else?
Anybody but you.
Anybody but yourself.

Everyday.
Every **** day.
I just wish I could be them.
The ones who are always wanted.
The ones who are always loved.

I spend my whole life wishing that maybe,

Just maybe...

For just one girl....

That I could be enough.

Should you forget that smile that you wear,
So lovely and warm, at home,
Remember these words, you kind-hearted soul.
Happiness lies where you roam

It lies in your heart, and it's up to you,
To brighten up the day.
To help out a stranger, a friend, or a neighbor.
Kindness goes a long way.

Just help an old lady crossing the street,
Ask her, "What's your name?"
Give her a hug, and show her your smile.
Trust me, she'll do the same.

Smile at a person that you think is cute,
And even if they glare,
Give em' a wave and continue your day.
A smile is something to share.

And don't be afraid to make weird faces,
At a baby, or a kid.
Just remember to smile and play for a while.
They'll remember what you did.

We are all human and life is quite short,
So enjoy it for a while.
Seize the day! Be on your way!
*Just don't forget to smile.

My hands,
Idle hands.
Empty and soft;
Harmless, don't you think?

Take a second thought;
What have they done?
These hands,
Idle hands.

From palm to palm,
He marks them red,
And then he gets,
Inside your head.

The Devil dwells,
In silent minds.
What you will seek,
You should not find.

Before you know,
Your mind will go.
Your deal is sealed,
The curse will show.

Your hands,
Idle hands.
The Devil roams,
Unseen by all.

But now you know,
The Devil's code.
Our hands.
Idle hands.

What dreaded curse has engulfed us all?
Surrounded by those who need us the most.
Their eyes are hollow and their words are empty,
As they call to their neighbors for a helping hand.

A man who is trapped by the vice of addiction,
Cursed to perish from this horrid affliction.
A pregnant young girl who is eating for two,
Abandoned by love she believed had come true.

They still bear smiles from time to time,
But we put them down for who they have become.
We judge them and scorn them for what they have done.
But we are the ones that did this to them.

Our way of life has destroyed many dreams.
Competive nature in its very seams.
Selfish in nature, no problems equate.
On the words I held back, I will suffocate.

So many times I've reached out a hand,
But changed my own mind in exchange for my pride.
I've held my chin high to ignore those below,
And I have become a part of the norm.

I playfully imagine sewing my eyes shut,
As frustration and anger rise within.
The solace I sought was a battle away,
So I lay in my sheets and accept my defeat.

To win such a battle would come a reward,
That all equal men accept every night.
To lay my own head upon a soft bed,
And drift off to sleep as if I were dead.

To dream, any dream, that my heart could ever want.
To explore, see, venture, and try.
Yet here, eyes open, is where I now lie.
I beg the madness to answer me, "why?"

Am I doomed to be an owl of the night?
To lurk in the shadows of a waning moon?
Why is my escape unavailable to me?
How long will the nights continue to be this way?

It feels like my sanity is eroding away,
And the lack of rest is causing me pain.
The bags of my eyes grow heavy and full,
And I plead for a God to end it all soon.

I dream for a dream and I lust for sleep.
Just a minute of rest is all that I need.
Sleep is my master, for it controls me,
As I lie in these sheets; a man of defeat.