The Unspoken

The Unspoken Apr 2014

Today I reached for my phone.
Haven't spoke to man who made it possible for my existance on earth in a while.
I have been missing his calls...over and over.
I was scared.
I have been scared...for his Love for me to show.
See, I know he does cherrish me, but since I moved from his house...its been different.
He doesnt ask if I have had dinner, or if I am ready for bed, or to make him his favourite breakfast.
He doesn't come to my room and wake me up in that funny tone "My soldier, wake up"...
Honestly, I Miss that.
My life has not been the same since I moved out.
I have learnt to fend for me and totally rely on me.
This weekend was hard for me.
I got sick, and too broke for life.
I know dad is there, but I don't want to burden him.
So this morning while he whispered a prayer for me, I felt it...from deep inside me.
I called him and when I told him my struggles...
He replied...
Nashipai, You have a FATHER...I AM YOUR FATHER...COME HOME, I AM HERE COME HOME TO YOUR FATHER.

I have a million sweet words,
but these ones just flushed tears from my ever strong ducts.
I Am Loved.*
I am my father's daughter.
When its all wrong, or all right...I will go home.
Home to My Father.
The only man I know.

©The Unspoken

I Love You Papa. I will come home. Home to you.

Apr 2014

Jeremy Duff

I Want You

Everything about you is wonderful to me.
Everything.
I want to know everything about you,
I want to know what the kids called you in 4th grade on the playground
I want to know who your first boyfriend was and what your dad wanted to do when he broke your heart
I want to know who your favorite 80's synthopop band is
I want to know what you think of when you wake up at 4:26 in the morning with a stiff neck
I want to know what color you wish your softest skirt was
and I want to buy it for you.
I want to pick every single flower on earth and fill your arms with them.

I want to hear your voice when you're sick in bed
and I want to know what kind of tea to bring you
I want to know what movie you watch when you can't do it anymore
because that boy in your history class wouldn't stop calling you that word and ******* it you are not that word but this movie makes you feel better and it always has (it did in 4th grade when they called you that name on the playground)

I want to know which side of your face you prefer to have photographed
I want to know who you pray for
and if you think anybody is listening.

I want to know what your mother wanted to name you before your father convinced her otherwise because "Honey, do you really want our daughter to grow up being called that and have her know that we are responsible?"

I want to know if you like the feel of cold hardwood floor on your feet in the morning or the feel of carpet when you first take your rain boots and socks off after stomping puddles.

******* it, I want to know everything about you
so I can love every single one of those things with an intensity
the devout Christian envies.

#love #******* #and #all #that #sappy

The Unspoken Apr 2014

+ and -

HE
He puts the "L" in Life
The 'L" in Love
The "R" in Riches
The "J" in joy...

HE
subtracts the "F" in Fear and lets Me listen clear
The "P" in my pride dissapeared and now this ride couldn't be better
For some reason, since HE walked int o my life, "Im" in my behaviour changed, they call me mature now.

For this reason am Bold no longer Old
Am Flying no longer Lying
Am Bright at he same time so Right.

HE simply changed the whole of me by doing the simplest of things.
Adding and subtracting letters to make me who I am today.

©The Unspoken

hehe...this peiece...Don't even ask. :-)

The Unspoken Apr 2014

A Butterfly In My Hand...

1000 words to speak my mind
but amm'a sum it up
in 9
B- Beautiful
U-Utmost superficial
T-True
T-Tactic
E-Elegant
R-Reserved
F-Flirty
L-Laureate
Y-Yielding
...that is all you are to me. :-)

©The Unspoken

The Unspoken Apr 2014

Fix Me...Jesus, Fix Me.

I Am Lost.
I hurt all over again.
Because I cannot forgive.
I try, but I still resent those who stubbed me straight through the heart.
My Family.
My ex Lovers.
My Community.
I want to let it all go.

This is a prayer of my hurting, breaking and bleeding heart.
Help me.
Help me LET GO
Of all that cause my tears to soak my pillow most days.
Help me.
Teach Me.
To forgive.
To let go.
To Heal.

I need You.
I can't do asylums no MORE.
I Don't want to cut anymore.
Help Me Jesus.
I know you are out, up there somewhere.
Help me.
Please.

©The Unspoken

This is a prayer, a cry from deep within me.

The Unspoken Apr 2014

Who Am I?

A black woman
A sister
A daughter
A graduate
A hustler
A poet
A mess
A hero
A disappointment
A make over
A second choice
A people's opinion
A ******
A Freak
A beauty
A beast*
...

Name it all.
But all these are me, woven into one neat ball with a face that wears a smile.
I Trip a million times
But a million times too, I Get up
and Once again I am fixed.

Have NO Expectations from me.
For I am only human.
I let people's judgements define me, right from mama calling me dumb,
To my mathematics teacher saying I am hopeless,
To my love thinking she deserves better than me.
But I sit, I remind myself that
I am only human.
So Far from perfect.
But on a journey to Who I Am.
A craft. Work of Hands.
Each day, a part of me is completed, made strong.

©The Unspoken

As I write this, "I Am-Kirk Franklin" is playing on the background. And I am reflecting on the times I have let myself, God and the people around me down. The times I haven been able to achieve even My own goals. Times I was shut out, welcomed, cursed, blessed. But at the end of the day, I am a craft. Work of the hands that mould me each day, through experiences good and bad. I Am Built.