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 Jan 2013 wandabitch
tread
I woke one day to find my blood all drained into a corner
Of my room, it swathed and swooped like pasta on the burner
Under water, boiling soft, and so content to listen
As to what and where my life has gone, and why I'm missing
Life, and long red roads of ocean currents to old Goa
The world is mad! And me it's had!
At 18 is when I told yah

And I know you didn't want
to disagree.
 Jan 2013 wandabitch
DieingEmbers
Was it only one day
you were absent
then why did
my world
fall apart?

Is the reason my dear
that you're truly
so dear to
my aching
heart.
I know you imagine me to be strong
Build me up in this image
Of a person with attitude, guts
Too much anger, too headstrong
Too much of a stereotype,
Too much of a misfit

But I don't ask that you think differently
You see I am sort of used to people walking away
And I had rather you see me as infallible
Than as something to be pitied, as someone vulnerable
To their cheap attacks, to your barbed remarks
I wish that you would- could - understand
That I am something terribly moody
But I can be good. Yes, I am good

I can be better if you'd listen to me
Let me in but don't demand too much from me
I will try to leave everything undisturbed
Heal a scar or two then walk out from your heart
Without having occupied any position of interest
Or importance

I wouldn't mind. I have been relegated to the background
once again
But I am infallible

My scars aren't meant to be pitied
Or sympathized with
I hate that you think you can understand
When you don't
I don't care about what you've been through
Until you've been with me for years
You've seen all that I have to offer
Because believe me
I'd never trust anyone with everything
If they haven't even been around that long

Some might think this is all there is to it
But I can tell you that there are a million things
Left to learn about me
So wait. Calm yourself. Let us be but don't just let me be
Don't rush for me, don't slow down for me
Just let me walk at my own pace but if you see me falter,
Then check if I'm fine. Make it known that you care
Believe me it helps when I'm with a blade.
You don't know how the simple gestures affect me

How they shake the ground beneath my feet
How they make me smile

How my world changes

So please. Just care for me. But don't ask- demand- too much of Me
Don't put me up on some pedestal, don't think of me as fragile
My scars, the ones I will slowly begin to show to you,
Aren't indicators of that.
I am proud of them- intensely proud
I've fought and I've died a million times on the inside
I've cried and I hated myself the most through these years

(I used to tell myself those barbed remarks
Every single criticism, I would sit up and repeat it to myself
So that I never got ahead of myself
Everything they said, how much they didn't like me,
Didn't care for me.
I sat up and repeated all of that to myself
Every. God. ****. Night.
Hoping someone would call just so I'd have an excuse to quit
But no one ever did -was ever up, ever available- at such times

So I'd just continue)

Despite everything, inspite of everything
I stopped. I had the strength- with or without
Anyone
- anyone- being there
Respect- love- me a little bit for it
Hate that I do this to myself
Tearing into myself,
Tearing myself down into such tiny pieces
Making myself into this small entity
Hate it. Detest it. Loathe it.

Tell me that.

But never stop telling me
Don't do that blindly though
Please listen to me as well
Don't blind yourself to how
I am marginally better everyday
Even if there are so manymany setbacks
Be honest with me
I wouldn't care if you talked badly of me then
Because I'd know that you truly loved me then
(yes. yes, i would)

So please. Just give yourself
Just give me  
A chance to be who I am around you
Don't expect it to happen too fast
I swear I'll be there by your side
If you called for me
I'd always look out for you
I would stick up for you
When your lover wouldn't do that either
Don't be afraid of how different
And moody I am
I'll always be there for you
Just call me
And give us time-time-time
 Jan 2013 wandabitch
eatmorewords
Some people think aliens from another planet have been here, right here on earth,

possibly webbed of foot
sticky talons,
sharp lizard skin,
six gills
revolutionary eyes?

landed in a field of sleeping cows,
perhaps
somewhere -

then again some people
say they have have never been on a bus

while others insist they have never eaten an orange - juice shooting - sticky fingers

And I just don't know who to believe.
 Jan 2013 wandabitch
Sa Sa Ra
Thou shall not worry, for worry is the most unproductive of all
human activities.

2. Thou shall not be fearful, for most of the things we fear never
come to pass.

3. Thou shall not cross bridges before you come to them, for no one
yet has succeeded in accomplishing this.

4. Thou shall face each problem as it comes. You can only handle
one at a time anyway.

5. Thou shall not take problems to bed with you, for they make very
poor bedfellows.

6. Thou shall not borrow other people’s problems. They can better
care for them than you can.

7. Thou shall not try to relive yesterday for good or ill, it is
forever gone. Concentrate on what is happening in your life and be
happy now!

8. Thou shall be a good listener, for only when you listen do you
hear ideas different from your own. It is hard to learn something
new when you are talking, and some people do know more than you do.

9. Thou shall not become “bogged down” by frustration, for 90% of
it is rooted in self-pity and will only interfere with positive
action.

10. Thou shall count thy blessings, never overlooking the small
ones, for a lot of small blessings add up to a big one.
We all know about the original Ten Commandments, but have you ever heard of "The Second Ten Commandments"?

These pearls of wisdom, sent to me by a friend, have been often attributed to Elodie Armstrong. I have taken the liberty of putting my spin on them:
http://www.harveymackay.com.

I. Thou shall not worry, for worry is the most unproductive of all human activities. You can't saw sawdust. A day of worry is more exhausting than a day of work. People get so busy worrying about yesterday or tomorrow, they forget about today. And today is what you have to work with.
II. Thou shall not be fearful, for most of the things we fear never come to pass. Every crisis we face is multiplied when we act out of fear. Fear is a self-fulfilling emotion. When we fear something, we empower it. If we refuse to concede to our fear, there is nothing to fear.
III. Thou shall not cross bridges before you come to them, for no one yet has succeeded in accomplishing this. Solve the issues before you right now. Tomorrow's problems may not even be problems when tomorrow comes!
IV. Thou shall face each problem as it comes. You can only handle one at a time anyway. In one of my favorite "Peanuts" comic strips, Linus says to Charlie Brown, "There's no problem too big we can't run away from it." I chuckle every time I think about it because it sounds like such a simple solution to a problem. Problem solving is not easy, so don't make it harder than it is.
V. Thou shall not take problems to bed with you, for they make very poor bedfellows. Just remember that all your problems seem much worse in the middle of the night. If I wake up thinking of a problem, I tell myself that it will seem lighter in the morning and it always is.
VI. Thou shall not borrow other people's problems. They can better care for them than you can. I must confess that I have broken this commandment because I wanted to help someone out, without being asked, or I thought I was more equipped to handle a situation. But I wouldn't have to deal with the consequences, either.
VII. Thou shall not try to relive yesterday. For good or ill, it is forever gone. Concentrate on what is happening in your life and be happy now! We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get a better job, make more money, get married, have a baby, buy a bigger house and so on. Yet the accomplishment of any of those events may not make any difference at all. The Declaration of Independence says we are endowed "with certain unalienable rights that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness." You are responsible for your own happiness.
VIII. Thou shall be a good listener, for only when you listen do you hear ideas different from your own. You can win more friends with your ears than with your mouth. Hearing is one of the body's five senses, but listening is an art. Your success could hinge on whether you have mastered the skill of listening. Most people won't listen to what you're saying unless they already feel that you have listened to them. When we feel we are being listened to, it makes us feel like we are being taken seriously and what we say really matters.
IX. Thou shall not become "bogged down" by frustration, for 90 percent of it is rooted in self-pity and will only interfere with positive action. Seriously, has frustration ever improved a situation? Better to take a break, collect your thoughts and redirect your attention to a positive first step. Then go on from there
X. Thou shall count thy blessings, never overlooking the small ones, for a lot of small blessings add up to a big one. We all have something to be grateful for, even on the worst days. Hey, you're still on the green side of the grass, aren't you?

Mackay's Moral: These may not be chiseled in stone, but try them—they'll make your life less rocky.

Reprinted with permission from nationally syndicated columnist Harvey Mackay, author of the New York Times #1 bestseller "Swim With The Sharks Without Being Eaten Alive." You can find more online by visiting:

http://businesscard2.com/resources/the-second-ten-commandments

http://www.harveymackay.com.
 Jan 2013 wandabitch
eatmorewords
The artist only used black,
he wouldn't say why his mum named him after a King

in palaces where feral children investigate
the mysteries of the Bermuda Triangle from their sofa where

they translated “idiot savant” as
stupid servant was written on permanent files

somewhere hidden alongside
DVDs that were posted on line showing monkeys in boxes
throwing themselves to death against perspex walls

splattering Rorschach patterns of childish nightmares,
the boogeyman.

A butterfly.
she gotta mouth full of poetry.
and a head full of humans.

her night is pacing black
to bright and
back to days
she didn’t feel
like facing.

whisper to the moon
all those crazy stories the sun doesn’t
like.

and live.
lovely.
live.
Graceful life by the river
doesn’t end by choice.

Some war like lightening
is more worthy.
But what is Death worth.
If life is priceless?

So the tree must fall.
By hands or by flood.
By grace or by worth.
By light or in darkness.

And when it does,
By god the world will hear.
It will be.
As it was.

Sycamore, Sycamore,
fell on thee
Sycamore, Sycamore,
hear thy plea.
*incomplete* *unedited*
Carry your transcendental
hands
towards the colossal
bloom of rock and earth
Bursting forth on earthquake feet.
Breath blue, and paint only green.
Promise me fire,
But when you come
bring only light.
*INCOMPLETE*
Brighter than the sun in "mid-career"
Lovelier than the moon fully blown
Beauteous than the world's gems known--
Sapphire and onyx and diamond dear,
All cannot in glory to him ever compare--
The Lord who lives in splendour rare
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