Feelings passed and hours are gone.
Distracted by these demons
Of right and wrong.
Anxiety now at its prime
Id wince and cry
Or count the hours to the time I'd die.
Alone I feel, within this space.
Slicing my arms in disgrace.
Her face still stuck in my mind.
Her eyes, her hair, her lips which I find...
So tempting.
But I am only wasting my breath.
Shaking hands with ideas of death.
Hoping this pathetic pain will subside.
Till then this heartache is by my side.

In my bed I lay
With tired eyes. With sorrowful eyes.
I stare into the black abyss.
My room is my prision.
A prision built
For the beast i claim to be.

In my bed I lay.
With a sad heart. A beating heart.
I bring out the thoughts of her.
She holds me tight, I hold her for life.
Tangled in each other with desire Naked yearning for love.

In my bed I lay.
A future so dark. A future shady.
It pangs my heart to no end.
Will i make it out alive?
Will the anxiety finish me tonight?
Will the loneliness swallow me whole?

In my bed I sigh
With young eyes, a heart beating,
And future in the making.
A love in my heart.
A desire that leaves my body shaking.

I feel so lost.
And yet i feel found.


Here
as I lay in my bed

“Its who you are.”
The voice said to me
As I sat alone in bed.
My eyes gazed into the darkness
And my body was filled with dread.
It was a voice in my head
That lived with me
From my days filled with despair.
It whispers and shouts and snickers to me, saying:
"Nobody ******* Cares"
“It’s who you are.”
It says again.
I sigh and believe the words deep inside .
Because as kind as I am and try to be.
Darkness was always by my side.
I grin to myself.
I let it sink to my soul.
The horrid and most violent thoughts From the ******.
The man I once was
Soon became nothing.
In the end
That is who I am.