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Kayla Williams Apr 2018
My mouth says ******* to the loved ones
so that my whole self feels secure
I know I'm the ****** up one
for that true love is still obscure
- Kayla Lynn
Kayla Williams Apr 2018
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, just tired.”
I. Am. Drowning.
Drowning in guilt,
Drowning in regret,
Drowning in The Ocean.
The Ocean of Emptiness.
“I’m fine.”
Two little words that
Mean so much.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, just stressed.”
Stressed, alone, afraid.
Sick and tired
Of all the lies.
Lies to myself,
to friends, my parents.
“Are you okay?”
No answer.
Closer to the truth,
The truth of
Silver-sharp blades
Tucked in a drawer.
Blades that tear;
Tears mixed with blood.
“Are you okay?”
“No.”
“I’m sorry.”
- Kayla Lynn
Kayla Williams Apr 2018
Hope
Follows you into the dark
Saves your life
No recognition
Just energy
Hope
Better than faith?
Being hope is scary
Draining
Selfless
Hope
That friend needed
Not wanted
Only for purpose
Not for love
Hope
In success?
No, before
Destined?
No, doomed
Hope
Felt
Devoured
Pressured
Hope
- Kayla Lynn
Kayla Williams Apr 2018
A Dreamer.
A Mind.
An Enigma.
An Idiot.
How do you know who I am when I do not?
You call me names
You tell me tales
You.
Choose.
Who.
I.
Am.
My future.
My life.
But is it really mine?
- Kayla Lynn
Kayla Williams Apr 2018
Eyes open
Okay
We got this
Why?
i hate it
Hmmmm
Cig?
Naw
You're going to die soon
No I'll live forever
And I hate it like myself
You're OK
Nice person
Basic face
Scars
Sporty
But broken
Carving
She fly
Smoke
Later
So empty
Her
I like her
No point won't happen
She'll hurt you
*******
Might as well quit
It hurts
Why?
Man up
Tough
I'ma good person
With bad thoughts
Scared
I'm worthless
Pointless
NO
Be fine
Allowed to feel
Don't feel allowed
I'm me
Am I?
Not the same
Hot
Cool leg
Tomorrow ready?
Her
Not her
Ride
Clothes
Cig?
Soon
I wish I
Never mind.
- Kayla Lynn
Kayla Williams Apr 2018
I feel like my days are a constant picking petals off of a flower
he loves me, he loves me not
the waiting is unreal. I’m not even sure what I’m waiting for anymore.
is it worth saving? I’m not sure what “it” is either.
A few days ago my heart was ecstatic, about to burst through my chest.
But now it is just a heart.
And my hands are just my hands, missing the tingling feeling they received with every one of your touches.
And my lips are just my lips, aching for yours to press against them one last time.
And my body is just my body, no longer feeling the warmth of yours holding me.
And I am just me. No longer feeling belonged to anyone.
The days go by and it is just silence between us.
And I realize now, that I will be just fine.
For I am worth more than a thousand silences.
- Kayla Lynn
Kayla Williams Apr 2018
I could feel its weight
The mass it carried through my fingers
The silk lacing between
The power behind it
The surge
The force
I knew its danger
I knew its power
I knew the risk of falling in
I knew it
But it was life-sustaining
It pumped through my heart
Caught fire in my heart
Caught fire in my veins
Wrapped its fingers around my throat
Held my soul in its bare hand
Dangled my thread
In front of my glossed eyes
Held the scissor limply in its grasp
A crooked smirk aboard a deadpan face
So I bit that ******* apple
And I heard the click
- Kayla Lynn
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