We hold onto the silhouettes of a past lover
The shape of their love
The remnants of the way it made us feel
The bits and pieces twirl like a hurricane in our minds
Memories give this natural disaster power to spin and hurl it's madness upon our early 3 a.m. wakes.
We are so captivated by our past
We are enthralled by their failures
They will hurt the same -
And even more once you realise how you went wrong.
And now that you can do better- be better- be more
you fall deeper into the hole they left you in.
It is magnified
Every pixel of insecurity perfectly falls into place like the blocks of a Tetris game
And you are left a colourful whole
And a whole lot of mess
Will this ever fade away?
But even rocks tend to diminish when beat against by water
Gradually
But
Eventually
Perhaps
Just perhaps
There will come along someone
Whom
You share your thoughts with
Your smile with
Your hand with
Your heart with
And
Unknowingly
Your flaws and failures fit together and shine like a florescent light
And more light escapes the cracks, right?
Both understand what the aloft peer off into the distance means at 3.04 in the morning
Nothing can be said
Nothing will be said
Just to know they see your soul in that moment.
We thought we had closed ourselves up
Dried out and shriveled up
Nothing can we possibly give to another
But He will appear and in our rut we will give and give
And perhaps
Just perhaps
This is the love we have been unwillingly searching for
He will not be your saviour
This is no fairytale
He will simply be the negative to your equation
And together your negatives will born a positive
He will not be the first I have loved
And I will not be the only one he has shared his smiles with
We both know what pain is
Like a blunt saw relentlessly hacking away at our will.
But;
like the spark of an epiphany
~We~ will be announced in the depths of a cold night with fluffy socks and warm hearts
We will wrap one another in the bandages of our love
He will plaster me with hope
And I will kiss him like the relief of forgiveness
I will press each memory like a flower - to dry and preserve
And;
I will write a dictionary of all the words with the hope of explaining what it feels like to have finally found Him
And I will hold Him with everlasting gratitude in the belief that Serendipity is not a waste of a word
I will twirl my love around His scars,
not being afraid of the monstrous stories they behold
And;
In this love there will be times where we will build forts around our feelings.
But let these be blanket forts
And let us take a joyous leap of destruction in stomping on them like child's play.
And;
I will love Him through the days he has collapsed in defeat from this disastrous place.
And;
I will love Him through the days he blisters the skies like the milky way.
When He is a hurricane,
When He is a still, starry night,
~I will love Him.