Please forgive the lies.
Those lies you realized were real lies in your eyes, that look at my eyes that cries.
Please forgive my tick, my tick that flicks when you click my impatience.
Please try to forgive the tears I cried, my hands tied down to the chair of my stupidness.
Forgive me for the different masks I've worn because I was born with a face torn..
Please, forgive me for looking at that mirror
Glaring
Staring
Preparing, to attack and smack
Break this make-up of me and off my face.
Forgive those scars across my heart that left marks on my inner wrists, forgive my fists that ball,
hit walls and doors to settle the score between love and hate.
Please forgive me for wasting your time, I'm fine. That line, like the line you wait behind dozens of people who I've said that to.. please forgive me when you tell me "I'm beautiful" because the thought of me possibly, being pretty, is new to me.
Forgive me when I say I'm lonely or feeling alone because I only have myself in my mind
and behind the door of thoughts are secrets kept, sept underneath the rug if uncertainty.
Insecurities, get the best of me,
Forgive my darkness
Forgive my awkwardness
Forgive my serial killer mentality, hunting down, killing off my confidence and any compliments I receive.
I enjoy bringing myself to low points
And at this point, I need a new point. A hight point. And the distance between my low point and my high point is a long line of self awareness and weakness.
I digress, my progress is better, my confidence is higher, I guess..
You'll be impressed with what you don't know,
What you should know,
But what I don't show.
My confusing image of myself
"Love thy self"
Lord please forgive me for I have sinned.
Trying to die earlier than intended is a sin.
Trying to force pain amongst my body is a sin.
Please forgive my dark thoughts, my depressed ways.
Forgive those who attempt the same attempts  i attempt.
Forgive those who drag themselves to the ground, buried underground with tomb stones above their heads.
Forgive the knives they used to bleed out their tears and sadness.
Forgive the pills that sit in the stomach of the people lying on the bathroom floor unaware of their scared mothers faces.
Forgive the flowers you place in front of their grave of hopefulness buried with terrible self consciousness.
Please forgive me when I say, please don't delay, but I really can't stay..

I've been drawn to the outer lines of the artwork of your mind
The anticipation of looking at a master piece
I can stare at you all day
All day all day (Kanye voice)
How can you be so perfect?
Perfectly perfect
Can perfect out perfect itself?
Is it possible?
Perfectly Flawless
I'm jawless to your flyness.
The amount of confidence is only equivalent to the beauty of your soul.
I'll never play games again, but I am "sorry"
Like that board game
I chose to leave you at home
While I went to find and bind my time with someone else
I wanted my cake and eat it too
But I'm not a big fan of desert.
But place it in front of me I'll take a taste it
Regret it
A set let down
Down for the count
Cause you knocked me down with the pieces of your broken heart
I didn't mean to
Yes, I know you heard "that **** before"
And yes I've felt like **** before but not like this
This is new to me.
But old to you cause you knew what you had in front of you.
But I didn't.
I should've.
I could've stopped.
Stop.
Just stop.
Cause I stopped believing you a long time ago.
Believing you is like believing mufasa doesn't die in the lion king
No matter what it's always the same tragedy
In actuality, you weren't innocent either
Oh you're quiet?
Well let me see your phone
I see I wasn't the only one with ***** little secrets  
Who is this?
What's that mean?
Heart emojis huh?
What about my broken heart emoji
This **** hurts.
Oh. I get it now.
See no one wants to get hurt but will never hesitate to hurt someone else
To numb
To forget in a moment
What's to gain in one moment when it's not the person you've spend endless "moments" with ?
The only way to grow is water your plants with mistakes
Mistakes are caused by one moment
And one moment can't be erased
So don't replace and irreplaceable piece of perfection
Because perfection is art
Perfection is you and me together
Perfection is us
Just US
not he
Not she just we
The sooner the better
So get your **** together
And let's leave
Start over
Blank slate
Wait
No more mistakes
Let's create
Imitate the great couples Of the world
But how can I trust you?
How do I know this is real?
It is real
Yeah real fake
Just trust me
I'm sorry I've said sorry so many times
I'm sorry the times I've said sorry didn't measure the time you spent crying waiting for me to say sorry....
Let's start over ...

I can't change who I am.
I was born, stubborn
With flaws and claws to paw at those flaws making me perfect in an unrealistic world.
I'm understanding that I have to appreciate and validate myself.
I need to congratulate and evaluate my being,
Cause seeing is believing,
And I believe I can do great things.
I believe, when I see that girl looking back at me, in that mirror she'll smile, and dial her self awareness and say
Hey!
You're ok. No you're better than ok. You're great.
So don't mistake your mistakes for flakes
Just take, in your issues and wipe them with the tissues you used when you were crying all those years
Cheers!
To you, to me, to us
And let's just be happy with ourselves because our shelves are empty.

I'm beating this level I've stayed and played on for so long, but you're wrong.
I'm winning this video game called life, and every time I play it I learn new moves and I chose to learn new secrets new strategies to help me gain points,
To help my joints move on, move on to a happier me.
A free me.
Let me be. Cause me, honestly me is all I know how to be, all I will be, all I can be.
So you see, my flaws are flawed and I applaud how I am how I turned out
I think I turned out ok
No better than ok
I'm great, cause I don't mistake my in take of self hate and I've stopped pouting and doubting myself.
I've been taking chances, taking second glances at myself.
I'm well aware I'm not 4X4, a square so perfect.. But I'm not, not perfect like that square because I hate math, and on my path I'm looking for more confidence more awareness more pride to stride through this level of awkwardness.
I'm trying to understand myself inside and out
But I figured out that who I am isn't who I am
It's who I want to be
No it's who I need to be.. And who I need to be is me.