The mural, it was of myself
Amongst lycanthropic flowers
I was in the Balkins
And 6am was the hour

I saw this in a psych ward
The strangest thing it was
To see a portrait of myself
It seemed as if I was in Hell

how strange it all sings
how strange everything leads around
strangely all this is strange
how strange it is now october
and the fact that now is not november and the fact that
now is not september and what is now
there is something and that is strange

how strange it is very all around
how strange everything is very and incomprehensible
and why and why does this circle exist
and why and why am I a hostage in it
did i sing too loudly or at all
very very quietly I really sang
I was too strong man or very
and very weak about what is the reason for all

reason about the reason all around what's and
these all the weirdness of these all sorrows
all the joys of where and why and why now
not december and why now is not february and why
and why am I saying all these words now
because I know that now everything is in the same lane and
that now everything is both yes and no and always

20.10.18

this is what i remember
and this is
how it will be

and this is my december
this is my deep slumber
and this is
the only way i know how to be free

this is my memory
and there is
nothing you can take
from i

this is my city
and this is
where they all come to die

these are my blessings
mixing with my sins

i made this leash
and now it makes me want to
sleep forever


and i'll give it all away
i'll give it all to you
just to see how you'll look

and i'll sell it all away
all of me - in red and blues
just to free me from what you took

this is what i remember
and this is
how it will be

and i'll give it all away
just to have a place to be


and if you find me someday
don't disappear as soon
as i count to three

and this is what i remember
and this is
how it will be


and i'll give it all away
to find a way far from here

and i'll live it all the way
until you find me there
cutting myself open so i can see


and this is our december,
but i know you don't know how
to feel no more,

this is my thunder
and i'm drowning far too under
the blankets to feed

this is what i remember
and this is
how it will be

until i leave

and this is what i remember
this is what i breathe,
how it all will be.

this is what i remember

It’s raining in the kitchen
And soaking the dish towels I just washed
But maybe it will clean the ***** dishes
I’ve been meaning to put in the dishwasher

Snow is falling in my bedroom
It was already freezing when I woke up this morning
So I’ll have to unpack the winter sheets from the attic
Another tedious chore for the day

Sweltering heat attacks my skin as I enter the den
Thank God I installed a ceiling fan the previous summer
Hopefully my wax stamps don’t melt onto
My half-assed business letters
That would be unfortunate

Then I discovered there is hail pounding into the tile floor
Inside my bathroom and shattering my ***** mirror
Now I have a reasonable excuse to buy a new one
The glass soap dispenser shattered
Bubbling and oozing across the stained counter

There’s weather indoors
Maybe I’m complaining
But this is a bit fascinating.

No Needy Eyes,
want for nothing,
only freedom eyes,
we have everything,

don’t mind the metaphors,
please pardon the ego,
I’m at Delilah’s high and,
I’m with chillin’ with some villains but they’re kind folks,

all vocal all loco,
let’s have a staring contest,
got a grip on my soul like a chokehold,
staring at me till my face melts,

humble as a roamin’ Nomad,
uncomfortable as a *** addict with a bad rash,
actually I take that last add back,
yeah I’m a ****** but no I don’t have a rash,

but I do have a pocket full of cash,
and I feel good but I want you bad,
swear to God I love You,
always will always have,

and that’s fact,

so real,
I wrote this on the back of a kin nap,
or rather a napkin,
either way I’m back in like I’ve been back,

back in,
this City of Angels,
with a bottle of Sin,
and some Best Friend Strangers,

all in on that God Level,
and I don’t wanna go even though,
I here the Devil callin’ and suspect I might be in trouble,
so I stay in the fast lane and take it slow,

gotta it right here so there’s no reason to go,

no Needy Eyes,
want for nothing,
only freedom eyes,
we have everything…


∆ LaLux ∆

October 8th, 2018
Hollywood, CA.

Sands and seashells as white as moonlit night
And water tugging slightly at the small boats
Trembling in the wake

“Far across the silvery sea”
Those little waves whisper to me
“From ocean dark and brooding blue, cross horizons bleeding red
is a land where the mists travel languidly through
and dangerous things betwixt the paths you tread.”

“There is a city that some say glows in the night
Whose towers ***** to glorious height
Domes and great structures stand below
Upon white stones, blue moonlight does glow.”

“If you swim out during the brooding storm
And torrential city make, with towers of black swirling wake
The sea will take and change your form
You will enter the depth and the depth will enter you
And sea imbued, you emerge anew.”

“On the second day, and the crest of red rising light
When Phoenix fly against the night
You will be ****** from water by the fiery wing
And to a new land take you as Phoenix songs it softly sings.”

“There you will encounter the dangers and things of strange delight
And the white walls of Elyse, whose light is cast upon the height.”

A flower girl tried to sell me a flower
picked from my own garden
a thin starving guttersnipe dressed so dour
my seldom emphatic heart granted my pardon

I gave her a tenner for the red rose
and told her to "keep the change"
she, now the subject of my next poetic prose
about the girl who makes my heart feel strange